Blog Page

me – 0, you – 0, universe – 0

zero scoreboard

When we play the comparison game, no one wins.

We’re nearly always playing this game whether we know it or not. We compare ourselves to our friends, co-workers, strangers, celebrities, you name it. Even the non-stop inundation of advertising media is an indirect comparison of what we don’t have versus what we think we should have.

The result? It just doesn’t put us in a good place. Ever.

When we compare ourselves to someone we consider to be “better” than us, we put ourselves in a position of inadequacy. When we compare ourselves to someone we consider us to be “better” than; well, we just acknowledge that person’s inadequacy. And, when we evaluate our worth on something we don’t own, or think we need to have, we give power to our lack and attach ourselves to the temporary. Again, inadequacy.

The common denominator of all the above; it’s not Love.

Love isn’t about comparison. It doesn’t have standards or a checklist. It doesn’t care where you live, what you drive or what size of pants you wear. I’m not talking about outward Love, here. I mean the Love we have for ourselves. Or, when we’re engaging in comparison, more aptly, the Love we don’t have for ourselves.

When we compare, we attach what we believe to be valid reason as to why we don’t Love ourselves. We think we’re not good enough and wish we had something that someone else has; a trait, an attribute, a material item. We think this way because we believe it can make us better. It doesn’t. Conversely, we think we “love” ourselves when we believe we have something enviable to the rest of the world. And again, as much as no one else is better than us, we’re no better than anyone else. Believing we’ll Love ourselves more when we get that high-paying powerful job, or beautiful new home, or a nose job, isn’t going to be the answer, either.

The answer is, and always will be, Love.

The most wonderful part about all this is that, we’re all more than capable of shedding this invariably default impulse of comparison. Just very rarely when we’re looking, both figuratively and literally, in the mirror.

Think of who you really, truly Love in your life. Me, I have a couple of parents and a brother, just for starters. I don’t care what they do, what they wear, how they look or what they own – I Love them. I don’t compare any of them to other parents or brothers and wish I could swap. I Love them. Are there times where I wished they maybe did something they didn’t do or vice versa? Sure. I think that’s pretty normal. But, never does my Love for them waiver because of what they’ve done or haven’t done, what they accomplished or failed at, or because someone else could be “better”. They’re perfect for who they are.

And so, why do we think we’re not good enough? Why can’t we Love ourselves the way we Love our parents and our siblings and our partners and our children? Why do we need to be prettier, or lose 15 pounds, or have an expensive car before we can Love who we are? You’re deserving of your Love right now! You don’t need to do anything else than be who you are and open your Heart to yourself. You’re the biggest part of your life. You need you to get through all the challenges you face. Give yourself the support of your own Love. Show yourself the unrelenting, uncompromising Love you deserve for being exactly who you are.

You’re perfect.

be Love.

theheartmovementtiny

the girl i found in Love with

universal love

Two things – i: there are no coincidences in life and, ii: pure Love is blind.

I’m not usually a dilly-dallyer; this past Friday morning was an exception. I was shuffling my feet to make the 6:51 bus. If I didn’t get it, no big deal; the 7:04 was close behind. Ordinarily, I would livened my step to catch the 6:51, but well, see point i. The 7:04 it was.

i: there are no coincidences in life.

About halfway through my Friday morning commute, a young woman boarded the bus. By this time, most of the seats were occupied leaving her with the sole option of sitting in the front inward facing seats. With me in my usual forward facing seat, this girl was now part of my permanent landscape.

Unless I was to have made the concerted choice to divert my gaze or close my eyes, every action of this young woman was directly in my field of vision. With really no purposeful intention, I found my eyes fixed on her.

She shifted in her seat to get settled; she straightened her toque; she had a sip of her coffee; then, she pulled her phone out of her purse. This is when it changed. Initially, for whatever reason, this woman had captured my mind’s attention. As I watched her “interact” with her phone, my Heart’s attention was drawn in.

She frowned with frustration, raised her eyebrows in surprise, pursed her lips in disagreement and smiled with happiness. With each expression, I felt more and more connected to this person. It was as though her emotion became my emotion. When she attempted to hold back an unexpected laugh, I couldn’t help but to genuinely smile – like, one of those smiles you couldn’t get rid of if you tried. It made me happy to see her happy. Knowing why or what had made her smile wasn’t of importance. My Heart was only interested in her happiness. I felt my Heart was invested in her Heart; I truly cared about her. And, that’s when I got it.

ii: pure Love is blind.

I’ve read about it, tried to write about it, spoken about it and, in fact, it’s what the[heart]movement embodies – being Love. And now, I had finally experienced that universal Love towards my fellow man – a stranger. The back story of our triumphs and challenges don’t matter, what matters is that we all experience them. One of life’s greatest paradoxes is that “we’re all different and yet the same”. I thought, every emotion I’ve experienced, this girl has, too. Every feeling my Heart has felt, hers has too. This was our connection. This is the connection we all share; our Heart.

The reason that the title of this post uses the word “found” is because, in that moment, I found a Love that’s always been in my Heart. A Love that doesn’t need to know the person it’s for; a Love that doesn’t care what that person stands for or what they look like or what they believe in. I think, for about ten minutes last Friday morning, I was being Love.

But, I have to be honest, the feeling I experienced on the bus that morning passed almost as quickly as it came. What stayed, however, is that I now know it’s in there. I now know that I can be Love. If those ten minutes on the bus is at all the promise of what being Love is, then I think I might just sell my truck.

be Love.

theheartmovementtiny

it’s been right under my nose this whole time….

mom tattoo clipart

Inspiration.

Being Love isn’t an overnight transformation. The mechanics behind it are the same as anything else – practice, stumble, learn, rest, repeat. It’s how every success is won.

And, success needs planning – what resources do you need? What are the challenges? What are the actions? A strong foundation is a constant towards any goal; being Love is no different.

We need more than foundation and planning, though. We need inspiration. Real life inspiration. We need that motivator to spark us, to lead us, to be an example to emulate. And, I don’t mean an untouchable celebrity, athlete or even a prominent philanthropist. I mean someone “real” in our own life. But, where do you look for inspiration to be Love? Jesus, Buddha, Mother Theresa, Gandhi? Maybe? As amazing as those people are, that still doesn’t solve “untouchable” problem.

So, WHERE DO I GET INSPIRATION? It’s a question that I’ve been asking myself ever more frequently. This journey I’m on is absolutely where I need to be, but it’s tough. It’s dark. I fall. I get tired. I wonder if it’s all worth it? I’ve struggled to find inspiration on many occasions. I’ve read the “quote of the day”, I’ve watched the Youtube videos, and sometimes it’s just not enough to really connect to. I needed something more, and so the universe answered my question. Standing five foot nothing, literally, right under my nose. There she was, my mom.

Unequivocally, my ma is a wonderful wonderful person. She lives a simple life; the happiness of her family being far and away the most important. It’s not even as though she sees through the largely meaningless and draconian dogma of Western civilization, she just doesn’t even care about it. It’s all about her family.

To her, it doesn’t matter where I work or what I wear. She doesn’t care about how I look or the truck I drive. Being cool or being a dork is all the same in her eyes (between my brother and I, I’m the cool one, by the way). She just wants me to be happy. And the way she contributes to that, is by Love. All. The. Time.

There are definitely instances where we don’t see eye to eye (not a cheap jab at her being three apples high), and it’s usually because I’ve been a jerk. Regardless, as tense as a situation can be, she always does something to show how much she Loves me in her own way.

It’s a choice she makes, it’s not because she’s my mother and “she has to”. Her Love is the brand of Love that will never expire no matter what I do or don’t do. It’s something very special about her. Even when I semi-joke about winning the lottery and ask her what she would want, she very unsemi-jokingly replies, “I just want you to be happy”. She truly is inspiration.

We all have this person in our lives. I promise you that. And so, who’s your real life inspiration? Open your Heart and let them lead you. Pretty soon, you’ll be the leader.

be Love.

theheartmovementtiny

change is good

to the readers of the[heart]movement

Dear Movers,

Firstly, with kindest sincerity, thank you to everyone that has offered encouraging words and support. It really is great to see the ‘likes’, views and visits by all of you. We’ll do our best to keep our place a worthwhile weekly stop.

Since inception, the[heart]movement has been consistent in its inconsistency. Effective right now, we’re giving a bit of a schedule a try. Heart to Heart posts will be uploaded each Sunday evening/Monday morning, in hopes of providing a positive step to the week. The “Chalkboard of Love” will kick off the weekend each Thursday evening/Friday morning. We’re definitely looking forward to being a bit more accommodating for you.

Again, thank you very very much for being who you are.

be Love!

theheartmovementtiny