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worst. vacation. ever.

worst vacation


Do you feel like you’re on a constant guilt trip? Like you’re forever feeling bad about something? Why do we seem to continually endure this on an almost daily basis?

Because, we allow ourselves to feel this way.

By definition, guilt is something we feel when we believe we’ve violated a moral standard we wish to hold ourselves to. But, when’s the last time you really, truly had this happen?

More often than not, the things we feel guilty about are, in effect, trivial every day things. Making an honest mistake; declining an invitation; eating one too many cookies (unless it’s chocolate covered Oreos. Then, we just feel pretty great about it). I’d be hard pressed to qualify any one of those as an act of immorality. Regardless, we put ourselves through the mental anguish of not living up to some sort of fictitious expectation we’ve allowed to govern us. Guilt is nothing more than a self-imposed shroud of shame around our Heart.

And so, what beats guilt? Love and forgiveness does. Every time. Unfortunately, we’ve allowed guilt to win far before Love and forgiveness have even entered the race. We’ve become conditioned to believe that our mistakes require punishment. That punishment, coming in the form of guilt.

Refusing guilt is about taking responsibility for the decision you’ve made and taking responsibility to allow Love and forgiveness to prevail. If you’ve made an honest mistake, know that you’re human and that your imperfection is what makes you perfect. If you pass on that invitation for whatever reason, recognize you wouldn’t put guilt on someone in the reverse situation, so why put yourself through hell for the same reason? Eat as many cookies as you want, but don’t attach guilt to the choice you’ve just consciously made. It’s a stick-to-your-guns type scenario. “I’m eating these cookies. Period.” Enjoy it and move on.

Taking responsibility is an extremely liberating feeling. We never get the most peace of mind when we get away with a lie, but rather when we’ve finally come clean. You weren’t late because of traffic, you were late because you didn’t leave early enough. Own it. You didn’t have the time to attend your friend’s pre-engagement engagement party (or whatever), you just didn’t have time for that. Own it. You didn’t have the money to donate to the United Way; you just wanted to spend it elsewhere. Own it. And, as soon as you’ve taken responsibility for all the choices you’ve made, usher in Love and forgiveness. Don’t even start on the teeter-totter of “was it right or was it wrong?” Or, “good decision-bad decision”. In every instance, nothing really life-ending happens. And, even if it does, Love and forgiveness is what will get you through. Guilt will never be your answer. I promise. Even if you did do something terribly immoral, just Love and forgive yourself.

I was inclined to finish by saying this is all “easier said than done” and to do your best with it. But, to be honest, if we keep repeating that idiom in the face of life’s challenges, we’ll just be forever talking and never doing. Start right now. Drop the guilt and pick up Love.    

be Love.


way more fulfilling and zero calories



This one is easy.

Over the last couple of weeks, my days have been experiencing a lot more warmth and sunshine. How?


I’ve been fortunate enough to have been blessed with a nearly daily opportunity to give and receive hugs. And, to be really honest, it’s pretty much been the highlight of my day. I’m having tonnes of fun with it.

So, to each of you out there, that’s my challenge; how many hugs can you get and give in a day? I mean, real hugs. Not those half-assed, bs hugs where you kind of put your arm around the person and brush shoulders. I mean, embrace someone. Put your arms around them and let them put their arms around you. Let them support you and you, in turn, support them. Let go of the stiffness in your body and melt into the other person; feel them. It doesn’t matter who; your wife, your husband, your kids, the mailman. Make a real connection with that person for those brief moments.

It’s those brief moments that have been carrying my day.

be Love.


if you want it tomorrow, call FedEx

love express

Being Love won’t come overnight. It’s a journey; it’s a process; it’s a practice; it’s whatever you want to call it. But, it’s not a quick fix.

To accept that the Love you experience is entirely your responsibility, can be an overwhelming realization. Like the sun, we are the source that radiates our Love to everyone and everything, including onto ourselves.

We’ve been conditioned to believe that Love is a search – the search for our soulmate, our career, our dream house; all things we aspire to “love”. But, the real truth is that your search ends where it begins; with you. To think, “whoa, it all depends on me?” is a lot to take in all at once. But, it’s no different than any of those other things you’ve aspired to accomplish and attain. It’s on you to do it.

And, it takes work!

Nothing magically shows up the day after you think, “hey, I want that”. You have to put in the work. You have to take the bumps and the bruises. You celebrate the successes and mourn the failures. Love is exactly the same. It takes work and practice and patience.

Everyone and everything in your life is an opportunity for Love. It’s an opportunity to call upon your Heart to respond to whatever the situation. Just ask it to help you. We are 100% responsible for the reaction we have towards other people, including ourselves. Use the greatest tool you have, your Heart.

This way of thinking takes a softness that most of us are not accustomed to when responding to the challenges we experience every day.

It takes a softness to genuinely wish happiness for someone that does nothing but make your life a living hell. If you can truly open your Heart to them finding their own happiness, you support them moving forward and away from the pain they bring you.

It takes a softness to genuinely express compassion toward your co-worker or your boss that is externalizing the stress they are feeling onto you.

It takes a softness to genuinely understand that anyone that has ever taken from you or wronged you has only done so because they seemingly had a lack of something in their own life which they felt could only be filled by the action they took against you.

It takes a softness to genuinely forgive yourself, accept and Love you for being exactly who you are and not who you are convinced to think you should be.

In every instance, the decision to allow Love to guide you is entirely your responsibility. It’s within your power to own your Love and share it; not only with your external relationships but with the internal relationship you have with yourself.

Love does not offer any rewards, it is the reward. And, in fact, the reward is instant. There’s no waiting to experience the beautiful feeling of Love. It’s immediate and it’s perpetual. The more Love you have to give, the more Love you’ll get. It’s all a matter of how we choose to respond to life. Some of the truest advice we’ve all received at one point in our lives was to not let the tribulations, setbacks and criticisms get us down. My personal adaptation of that advice – don’t allow life’s dark clouds to overshadow your Love. Regardless of the weather outside, the sun is always shining over top.

be Love.  


me – 0, you – 0, universe – 0

zero scoreboard

When we play the comparison game, no one wins.

We’re nearly always playing this game whether we know it or not. We compare ourselves to our friends, co-workers, strangers, celebrities, you name it. Even the non-stop inundation of advertising media is an indirect comparison of what we don’t have versus what we think we should have.

The result? It just doesn’t put us in a good place. Ever.

When we compare ourselves to someone we consider to be “better” than us, we put ourselves in a position of inadequacy. When we compare ourselves to someone we consider us to be “better” than; well, we just acknowledge that person’s inadequacy. And, when we evaluate our worth on something we don’t own, or think we need to have, we give power to our lack and attach ourselves to the temporary. Again, inadequacy.

The common denominator of all the above; it’s not Love.

Love isn’t about comparison. It doesn’t have standards or a checklist. It doesn’t care where you live, what you drive or what size of pants you wear. I’m not talking about outward Love, here. I mean the Love we have for ourselves. Or, when we’re engaging in comparison, more aptly, the Love we don’t have for ourselves.

When we compare, we attach what we believe to be valid reason as to why we don’t Love ourselves. We think we’re not good enough and wish we had something that someone else has; a trait, an attribute, a material item. We think this way because we believe it can make us better. It doesn’t. Conversely, we think we “love” ourselves when we believe we have something enviable to the rest of the world. And again, as much as no one else is better than us, we’re no better than anyone else. Believing we’ll Love ourselves more when we get that high-paying powerful job, or beautiful new home, or a nose job, isn’t going to be the answer, either.

The answer is, and always will be, Love.

The most wonderful part about all this is that, we’re all more than capable of shedding this invariably default impulse of comparison. Just very rarely when we’re looking, both figuratively and literally, in the mirror.

Think of who you really, truly Love in your life. Me, I have a couple of parents and a brother, just for starters. I don’t care what they do, what they wear, how they look or what they own – I Love them. I don’t compare any of them to other parents or brothers and wish I could swap. I Love them. Are there times where I wished they maybe did something they didn’t do or vice versa? Sure. I think that’s pretty normal. But, never does my Love for them waiver because of what they’ve done or haven’t done, what they accomplished or failed at, or because someone else could be “better”. They’re perfect for who they are.

And so, why do we think we’re not good enough? Why can’t we Love ourselves the way we Love our parents and our siblings and our partners and our children? Why do we need to be prettier, or lose 15 pounds, or have an expensive car before we can Love who we are? You’re deserving of your Love right now! You don’t need to do anything else than be who you are and open your Heart to yourself. You’re the biggest part of your life. You need you to get through all the challenges you face. Give yourself the support of your own Love. Show yourself the unrelenting, uncompromising Love you deserve for being exactly who you are.

You’re perfect.

be Love.


the girl i found in Love with

universal love

Two things – i: there are no coincidences in life and, ii: pure Love is blind.

I’m not usually a dilly-dallyer; this past Friday morning was an exception. I was shuffling my feet to make the 6:51 bus. If I didn’t get it, no big deal; the 7:04 was close behind. Ordinarily, I would livened my step to catch the 6:51, but well, see point i. The 7:04 it was.

i: there are no coincidences in life.

About halfway through my Friday morning commute, a young woman boarded the bus. By this time, most of the seats were occupied leaving her with the sole option of sitting in the front inward facing seats. With me in my usual forward facing seat, this girl was now part of my permanent landscape.

Unless I was to have made the concerted choice to divert my gaze or close my eyes, every action of this young woman was directly in my field of vision. With really no purposeful intention, I found my eyes fixed on her.

She shifted in her seat to get settled; she straightened her toque; she had a sip of her coffee; then, she pulled her phone out of her purse. This is when it changed. Initially, for whatever reason, this woman had captured my mind’s attention. As I watched her “interact” with her phone, my Heart’s attention was drawn in.

She frowned with frustration, raised her eyebrows in surprise, pursed her lips in disagreement and smiled with happiness. With each expression, I felt more and more connected to this person. It was as though her emotion became my emotion. When she attempted to hold back an unexpected laugh, I couldn’t help but to genuinely smile – like, one of those smiles you couldn’t get rid of if you tried. It made me happy to see her happy. Knowing why or what had made her smile wasn’t of importance. My Heart was only interested in her happiness. I felt my Heart was invested in her Heart; I truly cared about her. And, that’s when I got it.

ii: pure Love is blind.

I’ve read about it, tried to write about it, spoken about it and, in fact, it’s what the[heart]movement embodies – being Love. And now, I had finally experienced that universal Love towards my fellow man – a stranger. The back story of our triumphs and challenges don’t matter, what matters is that we all experience them. One of life’s greatest paradoxes is that “we’re all different and yet the same”. I thought, every emotion I’ve experienced, this girl has, too. Every feeling my Heart has felt, hers has too. This was our connection. This is the connection we all share; our Heart.

The reason that the title of this post uses the word “found” is because, in that moment, I found a Love that’s always been in my Heart. A Love that doesn’t need to know the person it’s for; a Love that doesn’t care what that person stands for or what they look like or what they believe in. I think, for about ten minutes last Friday morning, I was being Love.

But, I have to be honest, the feeling I experienced on the bus that morning passed almost as quickly as it came. What stayed, however, is that I now know it’s in there. I now know that I can be Love. If those ten minutes on the bus is at all the promise of what being Love is, then I think I might just sell my truck.

be Love.