For better or for worse. In sickness and in health. Til death do us part!

If you didn’t know any better, you’d think you were reading a life sentencing rather than boilerplate marriage vows.

And, to top it all off, that courtship condemnation is usually followed by a heart-felt “I DO”.

So, why can’t it be “for better and best”? Or, “in health and longevity”? And, “because life brought us together”?

Although my title to this article is a bit harsh, I don’t really have anything against marriage. I do truly believe it to be a wonderful idea. But, I do think it is sort of just an “idea”.

I won’t get into how the legality and paperwork of it all are really a false sense of dogmatic commitment we attach ourselves to (okay, so I guess I did just get into it). But, I will ask, why do we get married?

½ + ½ = 1

We believe that there’s another half out there that will make us whole. I mean, how many guys fell even further into the dog-mahouse the second Tom Cruise uttered the sap-soaked “you complete me”? First Cocktail, and then that one; thanks for nothing, Maverick.

What if told you, you’re already complete? What if you truly believed it?!

The hard truth, and it’s “hard” because we’ve been so conditioned to believe otherwise, is that you are everything you need to be. No one can fill any void you feel you may have, except for you.

I’m not saying everyone subscribes to this belief, but marriage usually falls into the mix right after “establish secure career” and “white picket fence”. It’s just too bad that nowhere in that recipe is the ingredient, “Love myself”.

What I’m really trying to get at here is the reliance upon relationships to give us the feeling of wholeness and meaning. The trouble with that dependence is the same as the trouble with any dependence; it can be taken away from you. And, when something can be taken away from us, we live in fear. When we live in fear, we don’t live as our true self. When we don’t live as our true self, we’re not being Love.

Imagine contributing to a relationship as a whole, not a part. Imagine the Love you have for yourself to always allow you to absorb whatever the relationship brings you, but not bring you down. Imagine being able to give of yourself completely, always knowing that nothing can be taken from you. This is what Loving yourself is.

When we can look at ourselves in the mirror and know that who we are is Love and truly Love ourselves, our Heart can never be broken. We can fully give ourselves to our partner because we understand that the purpose of that relationship, like any other relationship, is to teach us the lessons we need to learn. But, it is not our purpose. It is not what gives us meaning.

Our meaning is our self. Our self and Love. Our purpose is to give it away as much as we can. Allow your relationships to be an opportunity not to see what you can get, but to be able to give what you are. That, is a true commitment.

be Love.

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