Love like the sun.
Hate like the wind.
When we think about “Love”, we think about Love – hugs, joy, Oreos – good stuff.
The trouble is that it’s a really big setup for a fall.
If the goal seems just too unreachable, our inclination to attempt it is probably going to be really low. It just makes intuitive, human sense. Not everyone climbs Mount Everest because, even though we all could, not everyone believes they can.
And so, being Love ALL THE TIME; is that realistic? But then, what does it mean to you to be Love ALL THE TIME?
If we’re supposed to turn every cheek we have, always be the bigger person, never have a negative thought, instantly forgive and constantly see the bright side, you’d have to quit your job and buy an island. Not tell anywhere where the island is, cancel all your mail and get a boat. Then maybe you could be Love around the clock.
So, what’s it mean to be Love all the time?
It doesn’t mean trying to put yourself in a place that isn’t even comprehensible. It doesn’t mean being a doormat. And, it definitely doesn’t mean denying yourself your feelings.
There’s a way to Love everyone. 100%. You Love their place in the Universe. You Love their being. You Love that they are part of your education here. You Love that you don’t Love them. But, you sure as shit don’t have to like them. You don’t have to always smile at them. You don’t have to give them half your sandwich. And, you don’t have to agree with them.
The tough spot we put ourselves in about being Love, is the notion of perfection. We have to be Love all the time, otherwise we’re imperfect. But, the idea of being Love all the time, probably isn’t what may have you thought. Maybe we have to change how that looks to each of us? As for being perfect; you are. Always. Forever.
If you don’t like someone, there’s nothing wrong with owning it. You don’t have to feel bad about it. You don’t have to persecute yourself for it. And, you don’t have to be ashamed of it. But, most importantly, don’t attach yourself to it. When you create that attachment to that negativity, that’s what pulls you down. Just hate, and breeze on by.
Do I hate anyone? No. I don’t think I’m capable of those feelings anymore. But, there are people that I don’t like; people I don’t agree with; people that get on my nerves. What’s the solution? Let it happen and let it go. Acknowledge it and abandon it. I don’t have to go out of my way to let someone know I don’t like them. But, it’s okay for me to have those feelings. The detriment that’s created is towards ME, when I give the negativity, power.
Tahini paste. I don’t like tahini paste. But, I’m not thinking about it day and night. I don’t buy it and I don’t eat it. I don’t tell other people to dislike tahini paste. I’m not going to feel bad for not liking it. No thank you and next.
You can do just that with anything or anyone. The reason is because the challenge is not the subject of your disdain, the challenge is with you. And you, is in charge of you.
Be Love. [as much as you can]
I still have the feeling of hate, but that hate is not 100%, as sometimes, I do like and am obsessed of the culture beneath what I have been hating since I was young. I think that hate feeling may eventually disappear, but it will take some time and some effort from myself. I don’t have anyone on my dislike list, but I am annoyed when people don’t act in the way as I expected. So whose problem is that? Mine. It took me a while to figure out that it is not I don’t like that person, but rather that person didn’t say or do the way as I expected/wanted. For example, no “thank you” after my help, no “I am sorry” when I am interrupted. I obviously expect people to treat me exactly the way I treated them as I do wish I get what I put in. However, this is not going to happen all the time. Also I don’t want to be perfect anymore as I am growing up, but rather I want to be consistent. Such as I want to be the person in the real life the exact way as I have commented here. To be honest, I am not being consistent. It is easy for me to comment here, but hard to believe consistently in the real life. I guess that is because I am a human being? Just like the rest of most people? I don’t expect people all like me, and I don’t have such power. However I do expect to get everyone’s respect and that even doesn’t happen all the time. For now, I will try to “live the life I love”. Like you said I am in charge of my life, so “I will make my life blossom by myself” (this is a line translated from a movie called Sakuran, one of my favorite). This movie taught me that every person has feeling, happy & sad. It is fine to be sad, as that means we are alive in the real world! Be bright and be love! And be consistent (just to me for now)! 🙂
One more thing, I think the reason why I don’t get respect from everyone, because I didn’t respect everyone at first. I mean I probably say “thank you” to everyone who has happened me and didn’t apologize when I bug others. Thus, I get what I have put in. I agree with you that it is fine to be negative. However, I still want to be positive for the most time and tough out all my problems as much as I can. I have been alone for a long time and the lesson I have learned is try to solve all my problems by myself. I came to the world alone via my mom, and I will leave this world by myself; just like the wind has come and go. Anyways, we are responsible for what we have chosen, no turning back and no regret. Be bright and be love!
I think, where the consistency is most important, is by living from the Heart. We evolve, devolve, change, wear different masks; even many different times in a day. It’s okay to be different in one situation than from another. I know people may question authenticity, but being authentic is about being from the Heart. And, if one behaviour is required in one situation, but a different behaviour is required in another, as long as you bring that from your Heart, it is authentic. It is honest and it is you.
As for expectation, it’s my endeavour to release that idea from my thoughts. To release the expectation I have on myself and on others. By doing so, it allows us to live free. It allows us to continue to help no matter thank yous we don’t receive. It allows us to keep going no matter how many times the outcome wasn’t as we had planned. It allows us to be at the Heart of ourselves which guides our own behaviour and is not dependent upon the behaviour of others.
No one can make you reach out to have someone help with your problems. And yes, I agree that we must rely on ourselves to truly change. But, other souls are there to carry us, listen to us, guide us and Love us. We are responsible for the choices we make, and that includes who we let in and who we don’t. We don’t have to be alone. Two Hearts and better than one. 🙂
Be Love.