How do you Love?
For most of us, love comes with “ifs”, “buts” and “whens”.
“I love you if you love me back.”
“I love you but only when you agree with me.”
“I love you when I decide you’re the person I want you to be.”
With expectation comes parameter. We limit our opportunity to lead a life of vulnerability and rather, we become vulnerable to life.
A life of vulnerability is one in which we represent our authenticity through our Heart. It’s a life where we know that the Love we possess inside is a Love that we will always have and is infinite regardless of what happens around us.
Being vulnerable to life can’t allow us to live from our Heart because of fear. Because we become scared of what it will cost us. Sure, maybe we can master “earthly” love; largely the same love that can apply to pizza, Sunday night football and your favorite socks, but this isn’t Love [uppercase ‘L’ Love].
“Earthly” love is easy. It’s replaceable. Don’t feel like pizza? Get some perogies. Football season over? Maybe Dancing with the Stars? What happens when the dryer eats one of said favourite socks? New socks! And, sadly, the relationships we cherish, too become disposable.
When love comes with expectations of what it can provide to us, it also comes with what can be taken from us. Let’s face it; none of us is going to be around forever. At least not in this physical form. So, what happens when you put the demands of earthly love on physical beings and forms? Inevitable loss. You’re holding onto something that can be taken from you.
The expectations and demands we place on the love we choose to use, are all voluntary. They don’t represent the Love you can share to any and every one, including yourself. Love [uppercase ‘L’ Love] doesn’t need anything except a medium to operate in, You. And, it doesn’t need anything to keep it going except for You.
Love can be Love to your mother, daughter, co-worker, milkman, the homeless and the destitute. It’s because Love [again, uppercase ‘L’ Love] doesn’t come with expectations. Love expects as much from your mother as it does from a beggar; nothing.
There was a guy, once upon a time, who didn’t appear to get very many haircuts and had a beard that many a 21st century hipster would envy. Amongst other things, this simple fellow was persecuted because of his ability to Love and treat everyone the same; mother, father, prostitute, thief, the same. He did this because giving his Love is how he received. He didn’t see his mother or a prostitute or a thief, he saw one thing, Love. He saw that we are all the light of Love regardless of anything else; relationship, status and reciprocation.
The most promising part of that story is how that guy is no different from you and I. Truly, he was just a guy. He didn’t judge, condemn or expect. He was just Love and saw Love. You don’t have to break up with your barber or ditch your shaver, but maybe cut out the expectation. Find the joy and reward in giving.
be Love.
Love is unconditional, no doubt in that. However, it is also a balance of giving and receiving. When a person gives too much and didn’t get what he/she wants, then the love begin to change in quantity. That is still fine as love doesn’t come in a form of more love or less love, it is just a simple question, love or not. It only matters when the quality changes. What I mean for changing in quality is you don’t feel the same way when you shake hands with that person or differently when you receive a hug from someone. They don’t love you in the say way as before that only you would be able to tell the difference. Love is not easy but it has to be unconditional. Whenever we give an expectation or excuse, that is not love. Love is “I love you no matter what”; and “I may treat you not as nice & warm as before, that is not your problem and it is mine. And I still love you”; and “I love you because I just enjoy loving you”. Love requires a big heart and the love only stops when the heart gives up. The key is never let what other external factors affect how you think of love. We see and listen to different opinions everyday, and it does affect our thought and understanding of life. It is fine to question from time to time, as long as we are back to our own way of giving our love. Sorry I am too tired and this maybe the “worst” comment that I have ever given to you as my brain doesn’t function very well now and I just want to faint to my bed. Good night, be bright, be happy and be love.
My belief is that when we give unconditional Love without expectations, that is also how we receive. That is how we fill our Heart. Love is simple but it is not easy for most of us. It is always our choice to Love no matter the circumstance.
be bright and be Love! 🙂