We don’t talk enough.

Actually, some of us probably talk too much – no offense lady I see on the bus, but how much could have possibly happened in between when you woke up and 7:30am?….I digress.

The reality of it all is that the more we have the ability to be connected, the less we actually are. Phone calls now seem to be exclusively reserved for the computerized woman congratulating you for the cruise you just won. And, quite possibly, the last visitor you had at your doorstep was a Girl Guide trying to sell you cookies.

Now, I’m not here to start a revolution. I don’t want you to throw your mobile phone into a toilet or tell your internet provider it’s just not working out anymore. What I am here to suggest is a better way to use these communication tools. The truth is, they’re not going anywhere, anytime soon. At least, not until Doc Brown gets the DeLorean back from the future with the next big idea. So, might as well embrace and use them constructively.

Text messaging and email have created a great efficiency in getting things done. However, with that, can come a great impersonal touch. Not to mention, a high susceptibility to misinterpretation. Nonetheless, combined, they have become the most common forms of communication today. Their everyday use is virtually unavoidable. That all being said, I still greatly encourage looking someone in the eye or hearing their voice when you need to communicate, as much as you possibly can. Especially, when the communication isn’t going to be the easiest. Try not to hide behind your computer screen. Don’t send 41 text messages when a 4 minute call will get it done. Make the trip down the hall instead of sending an email to a co-worker. And, f emoticons. Walk around and actually smile at people. 🙂

In lieu of actual face to face communication, I offer the following:

 

Basics 101

Treat a person like a person. I’ve received one too many messages that don’t even say “hi” or, use my name. If you saw me in person, would you just start talking or would you at least give me a “hey Jimmy”? It doesn’t take much to create the feeling that you actually thought about the person and not just what you needed from them.

Dump the abbreviations. Actually, if anything, dump one abbreviation – thx. Unless you’re talking shop with George Lucas, keep your “thx” to yourself. Personally, I’d rather not get anything at all than a “thx”. Maybe it’s me, but I can’t get past what an afterthought it feels like. Especially when “thanks” takes so little to do. Or, by gosh, maybe even a “thank you”. Crazier still, “thank you!” with an exclamation point. Think of how that punctuation mark changes the dynamics of your appreciation. Why not show, as best as you can, that you actually do appreciate that person’s help and who they are?

 

Intermediate 201

Take a sec. It’s happened to all of us – we’ve sent a message that we should have been more patient about. Maybe we’re the instigators, maybe we’re the retaliators. Regardless, stop. If you’ve already written that message, don’t hit send. Take a minute. Get up and walk around. Put your phone down and get some air. Let yourself regain some composure before you let it go. I say with a lot of confidence that most adversarial situations could have been avoided with 5 minutes of simmer down time.

Say what? Written communication can be a real tough one. Something might sound like it makes sense to you, but that may not hold true for everyone. Take the time to re-read what you’ve written. Maybe ask someone nearby what their impression is, especially if it’s something significantly important. Even further to this, try to put yourself in that person’s shoes. Is it a message you’d like to receive? Can you use fewer words and be more concise? Can you elaborate more to ensure your true message isn’t misconstrued? Can you be more kind? The answer to the last one is “yes”. We can always be more kind. Don’t be apprehensive to respond to a message you’ve received with follow up questions before actually responding to the subject matter. If something doesn’t make total sense or add up, try to make sure it does before you give your final answer.

 

Advanced 301

Compose with Love. I’m not saying you have to go for the Oscar every time you hit “reply”, but always try to remember that you are Love. Whether it’s for business or personal matters, there is always the opportunity and ability to have Love in your message. You don’t have to gush or even be feely, but have an intention of Love. Let it speak silently through whatever your actual words are. Just keeping this top of mind will ensure you don’t have to think about 101 and 201 because 301 encompasses it all.

 

Every day in my office, I see many forgone opportunities to truly connect with the people around us. Often, I miss these opportunities myself. Today, this is my proclamation to be the change I wish to see in the world.

Please feel free to send me a “message” with any comments. Just kidding. 🙂   (All comments are truly welcome.)

b Luv.

<3