You probably won’t notice anything for quite some time. Then, you’ll probably ignore it for a bit. From there, it seems pretty natural to move into denial, thinking, “I’m just in a slump.” Heck, by this point, people might even start to notice and make the occasional comment. Usually, it’ll be family or a good friend; someone that knows you well enough to pick up on it. Eventually, feeling not so sure of yourself, you’ll look in the mirror and ask,….
“what’s wrong with me?”
For the vast majority of us, over the vast majority of our lives, we’re round pegs in round holes. We get in where we fit in. There will be an odd duck or two, however, that will make us take pause. It might be that person that seemingly, on paper, appears as though everything should be great but on the inside, it’s a different story. It might be that person that is always genuinely smiling and Loves life. It might be that person that doesn’t say much in larger social settings, but get them one-on-one and they won’t shut up. It might that person that always seems to be searching for something.
It might be you!
Whomever the square peg, it doesn’t matter. It’s okay. In one way or another, we all just want to fit in. We all want to be accepted and appreciated and Loved. We’re adamant that this is what we want and that it comes from the outside world; I promise you, it doesn’t. All the Love you need is inside of you.
The time will come, maybe not in this life, that you just won’t fit in anymore. You’ll just want enough money to pay your bills and not much else; you’ll find it ridiculous that someone’s bitch-fest status update on facebook gets more “likes” than a picture of puppies would; you’ll abandon the need to be critical of anyone but yourself; and you’ll always be trying to figure out what you’re doing here.
The great part about it; when this becomes you, the allure of “fitting in” will slowly fade. You’ll realize that it’s impossible to fit in anywhere being your true self because nothing is bigger than your Heart. It can’t be contained; it’s too big to fit into anything.
Your Heart is just trying to fight, as hard as it can, to get you to realize and Love your true self. Losing this battle to your Heart will be the greatest victory you’ll ever experience. It will conquer every fear you could ever have in life. As simple as it sounds, maybe as silly as it sounds, Love will always make everything okay. Even when you think it’s not okay, it’s okay.
There’s only one place you need to fit in and that’s with you.
be Love.
“Be yourself – not your idea of what you think somebody else’s idea of yourself should be.”
“Always be a first rate version of yourself and not a second rate version of someone else.”
“Be yourself, everyone else is taken.”
Yes, be yourself, although it is not easy as always. I used to worry if something I have said may have upset someone, as I would like to fit in any group that I am involved: family, work, and friendships etc. However, later on I realized it is impossible for me to make everyone happy and I can’t fit in all the groups. So now, I think as long as we are nice and respect each other in the big picture, then for the rest, just let it go if it doesn’t work well, as time will tell and love will tell. Yes, everyone wants to be accepted, appreciated and loved. In my opinion, the acceptance, appreciation and love from others come second to me; because I think the most important thing is I need to accept, appreciate and love who I am. A real strong person is not the one who always need attention and love from others; but the one who can still respect and love himself/herself when he/she is all by himself/herself. And to the extend that even they are alone, but they can also love others. I think a real happy person will spend quality time to appreciate and love their lives, rather than just pasting boring pictures on facebook. Please don’t get me wrong, I think it is good for people to post pictures to keep their families & friends connected. What I mean is if those pictures were just to get attention, then I don’t think that is necessary, just my thought. Back to the “fit in” discussion, I think the key is to be nice to everyone in your group and try to take away our personal feelings to certain people (i.e. don’t judge easily), then everything will just be fine; which all will require love. Have a nice week! Whether we fit in or not, life goes on, so be love!
By the way, if I find myself fit in to the new environment, that will be great. If not, I wouldn’t run away because the most important thing to me is whether I am happy with who I am and where I am at present. It is not the environment around me that would determine whether I am happy or not, but it is my attitude. Besides, the feeling of not fit in may be temporary, and give some time, things will turn out to be better. We can’t control what others think of us, but we can control our attitude towards ourselves. The feeling of not fit in may be an incorrect interpretation from our own perspective. Thus, instead of worrying whether we fit or not, we should just enjoy our lives by doing things that keep us happy. Take care.
Whether fit in is a battle between being ourselves and adapt ourselves. Adapt is not changing of who we are, but to find a way to both being ourselves and maintain a good relationship with the group that we try to fit in. There is no winner between these 2, but a question of whether you find the best group that you want to be connected. If it didn’t turn out to what we want, that is fine as we don’t have to sacrifice of who we are in order to be a different person for a group of people. Take care!