“Did you get what you wanted?”
Was the question, Earl the guy at the paint store asked me while we were waiting for my bill to be printed. As a side note, legit, his name was Earl; probably a pre-requisite to be working at the paint store. 🙂
Because Earl was a very kind and friendly soul, he asked me how Christmas went. And, to be honest, even though we were on the topic of ol’ Santy Claus, I couldn’t have been further from thinking about him and Rudolph.
“No, I didn’t get what I wanted”, was the thought in my head. But, it wasn’t about what was or wasn’t under the Christmas tree; it was about where, what and who I was right then and there. It was all about the darn universe, again.
It’s not as though I felt slighted or cheated or anything like that, it’s just that it sort of sunk my spirit. Like, an anchor just pulled me down. I felt incomplete, a hole in the middle, a donut. Why WASN’T I getting what I wanted?
Probably, because I don’t think I’ve been asking.
As kids, we stood a lot better of a chance getting what we wanted if we made a list for our parents to give to Santa. Otherwise, how would he know? Whether we knew it or not, it was all about our intention to get that Nintendo.
Invariably, we all want something or somethings. A car, a dream job, a best friend, a television, Love (we all just really want Love. Everything else is noise). But, what are we doing about it? Me? I probably take the wrong angle more often than I take the right one. And, the wrong angle is not having intention. It’s focusing on what I don’t have, not creating what I can have.
It’s, basically, not taking accountability for what can be yours. It’s not living in the space you want to be in. It’s corny, but if you want to be a winner, you have to start thinking and playing like a winner before the game even starts. External factors aren’t the reason why we feel like something’s missing. Everything is in us.
Finding a television is the same as discovering your dream job as it is being Love. It’s all about intention from within. The avenue you take might be different, but the foundational path is the same. Get some flyers and see what kind of televisions are out there. Sit at the table and make a list of everything that would encompass your dream job and what you need to do to make it real. And, simply, to get Love, you have to give Love. You have to be Love.
It’s all about intention.
There’s nothing outside of you that will fill the hole, no matter how little or big, how material or spiritual. Everything is inside of you and is driven by your intention to discover it.
The starting point is asking for what you want. It’s trusting that Love will give you the answer; but you have to ask. Otherwise, the answer is always no. And, what comes may or may not be the way you want or expect it to, but your intention is what keeps the course. You’ll get what you need to get, even though you may not know why at the time. Be the question, be the answer.
be Love.
Instead of thinking “I am not exactly where I want to be; I haven’t got what exactly I want in my life yet”, we should think and believe in that “we will be where we want to be and we will get what exactly we want to have”. The definition and understanding of “completion” is different for different people. There is such a person in my life that very important to me and she told me the point of completion for her is all her kids & grand-kids have a good job that can support themselves and all of them have a peaceful & safe life. Her original words are “I can’t close my eyes (i.e. leave us) if any of you don’t have a good job to support yourself or any of you is in trouble”. Then another person told me our life can’t be completed as once is completed that means you have to leave this world. They both have a valid point. To me, life is like climbing a mountain and there is no ending of this climbing and we just keep on going. I will stop sometimes to enjoy the views and then move on for some better view or may be worse (I don’t know until I move a step forward and I have the courage to do so). I believe we can all be where we want to be and be who we want to be as long as we want (which is like you said it is about intention). Although you may feel you haven’t reached there yet; however, you may have already been there and you just haven’t realized that you are. Well, whether you are there or not, there is someone behind your back will always support and love you. That person my not fully understand and know what you want or what you think, but hope that person’s support and love will make you feel slightly better. Enjoy your painting! Be bright and be love in whatever the color you want! Lastly, nerd, just be happy, ok? haha….
By the way, it is good to feel “I am not where I want to be”, because once you have this feeling, you may stop moving forward. Like climbing the mountain, the current view in front of you may be beautiful, very beautiful, but does it really make you feel “happy”, “satisfied”, or “loved”; and you may wonder the next stop may be even better. The feeling of “I am not where I want to be” supports another feeling or belief, which is hope in my opinion. Life is journey, a journey to find who you really are and to experience the true & pure love. It is wonderful if there is someone accompanying you along the way, but based on my experience, only yourself know where you want to be and only yourself know to a degree of how happy you are. It is just me that if I rely on a particular person too much, I will begin to lose sight and become “weak” and become “less independent”. In my definition of independent, it has two aspects: financially and mentally. Be happy, be love and be bright! Sleep well 🙂
I guess most people want love from others, especially from the one you love the most. If you get it, that is great. But if you don’t, that is fine as it is not the end of the world. You give the best you can and when you give your love, you have already asked for what you want to get in return. There are generally 3 answers: you get exactly the form of love you want, that is the best answer! The second is the the opposite of the first one, no return means no love back; this is not the worst as at least you get a clear and straight answer. The last one, which in my opinion is the most difficult, you get love back but not in the way you want it. I am sure we all have experienced the last one, especially from our parents and lovers. We have come crossed this feeling many many times “this is not what I want”; then we get upset or mad and question “why didn’t he/she/they understand or why he/she/they have said or done such such”…. now it is time to pause for a minute and tell ourselves to calm down and need to realize for whatever those people have said and done is out of their love, may not be what the best way we have expected. We have to be patient and communicate and work out our relationship with them to eventually get what we want. This process is really hard. Love sometimes is about giving, questioning, arguing, fighting, and receiving in the end. I really hope you get what exactly you want. And maybe sometimes it is better not to think too much or over-think the issue. Maybe next time when you come to this feeling and just ask yourself if it is worth to think/feel like this way? If yes, then work things out, otherwise move on to the next step. Everything that has ended had ended. No matter how bad you feel, as long as there is one person still loves you, you should feel appreciated and I am sure there are more than one. Also I think the stuff we always have been dreaming to get may not be the exact what we want in the end. Well I don’t know what else I can say as myself is questioning on lots of stuff as well. Whenever my questioning get to no where or it started to get me feel down, I will stop and eat an ice-cream and pick up my thought later. If you really want some answer, the best is to ask like you have said. No question, no answer. I understand that there are some questions, we don’t have the courage to ask not because the questions are hard to ask, but we don’t have the courage to accept the true answer. By saying this, I mean sometimes I know the answer and they are not what I want, so I dare not to ask. But if I don’t ask, I am not honest to myself and myself is the last person I want to be dishonest with. If I am able to see things through, I won’t ask as I am 100% sure of the answer. The next step then becomes easier once I know the answer. Good night, be bright, be love and be colorful!
Life is, in fact, a journey and not a destination, as we’ve all heard many times before. Your Heart will put you in the direction of Love. But, the action starts with us to ask Love and our Heart to work together with all that is around us to put us in that path. Many of us resist; we go against the flow. Opening our Hearts to Love allows to realize that we are where we should be. And, if we let Love guide us, it will take us to that next higher place. In truth, each ascending spot can be found inside of us. It can’t be found externally. It’s all within us.
To be “weak” and “less independent”, in my opinion, is to close the door on your Heart. It’s to deny what it may be reaching out for. Yes, we are the creators of our reality and choose to respond and feel the way we feel, but sometimes, we need a hug from someone else. Sometimes, we need comfort and reassurance from another place. Think of if you only gave yourself hugs? We need connection. We need weakness. We need vulnerability to show how strong our Heart can be.
I don’t believe what we give and receive is always derived from Love – in a matter of speaking. But, we have the ability to be compassionate to every situation and absorb it with Love. We can recognize that we may not have received the desired response from someone, but we can respond internally by saying that the Love we have for our self is not dependent upon that which is outside of us. That all being said, we still need hugs and to be held and to feel connection. Our physical being is here with our spiritual being. Both need fuel, both need Love.
Be Love!