beauty and the broken

 

We’re all broken.

Broken is real. It can be confusing. It can be misunderstood. And, it can be simply debilitating.

There’s no instruction manual for broken; it’s not as though we get put back together again as if we’d never come apart. By the time most of us even notice the pieces of our wreckage, chances are that all of them won’t even be there to put back together. It’s as though we don’t recognize what used to be us.

I am broken. There is nothing of me that it too embarrassed or too proud to admit that. It is a statement of truth; a virtue that is a part of who I choose to be. I know that I’m not alone; a fact I am aware of. What becomes blurry, sometimes, is the way we feel that we are alone when we are in this place.

Broken is a heavy burden to carry. It’s an easy spot to get stuck in; it feels like we have no power over it, begins to almost be comfortable, we develop an identity to it, our physiological, mental and emotional pathways become hardwired into it. We become it. We know broken by rote.

I don’t feel inclined to lecture that the shitty things that happen to us “happen for us” or are “a blessing in disguise”; an opportunity to rise above and “test your mettle” or that you get to choose if it’s “good” or “bad”. Crummy things happen to us in life; it is life. Life is also about what you’re going to put back into it. Stasis won’t work. I know, for sure, that doing nothing will get you exactly nothing.

Getting unbroken means two things; leaning on the right people and letting Love in. I know that I am fortunate to have the right people in my life. And, I suppose to be fair to myself, I’ve brought those people into my life; I’ve accepted those people into my life. I have learned the value of support and strength and genuine people with sincere hearts that believe in what I believe in.

Ever heard the saying, “if you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room”? Well, I’m not the smartest person in the room. The people I lean on lift me up. They hold me accountable and challenge my choices, and they do it with Love. They extend their reach to bring me up to where I need to be rather than come down to where I am. Leaning on the right people that are at a higher vibrational frequency than you will help you find the right part of yourself to lean on; that’s where you find your own strength. It’s Law of Attraction 101. And, to be honest, sometimes I don’t even know the people I lean on. I’ve never met them. They write books or post videos on YouTube. They teach me that I get to decide if I’m a victim or not. They show me that I can give power to an idea that pulls me down or that I can give that power to myself, where it serves me. Not where I serve it. It’s being really honest with yourself. Above all, I know that although the decision to be unbroken must be made on my own, there is only so much that I can do on my own.

And, Love? “I am broken. I don’t deserve Love. How could I?” You would never tell anyone, no matter what has happened or what they’ve done, that they don’t deserve Love. Yet, we believe it of ourselves. You will always deserve Love. You. Will. Always. Deserve. Love. Sometimes, it just takes asking the right person, “can you Love me?” The right person will. Unconditionally. The right person will show you how to Love yourself.

Kintsugi is an ancient Japanese practice of repairing broken ceramics using a special lacquer mixed with gold; the essence of which is to visibly acknowledge and incorporate the beauty of the repair into the new piece instead of disguising or hiding it. The brokenness is what makes it whole again.

Nothing of beauty that is broken will ever be reconstructed into its former self. It becomes something new. Something still good. Something still beautiful. Love is what fills our cracks and fissures. Love is the gold that binds our pieces together not to mask who we are but to give us our shimmer. To show that we were once that, capable and deserving of everything but we are now this, still capable and deserving of everything. We are still who we were made to be. The beauty and the brokenness.

Be Love.

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