Do you feel like you’re on a constant guilt trip? Like you’re forever feeling bad about something? Why do we seem to continually endure this on an almost daily basis?
Because, we allow ourselves to feel this way.
By definition, guilt is something we feel when we believe we’ve violated a moral standard we wish to hold ourselves to. But, when’s the last time you really, truly had this happen?
More often than not, the things we feel guilty about are, in effect, trivial every day things. Making an honest mistake; declining an invitation; eating one too many cookies (unless it’s chocolate covered Oreos. Then, we just feel pretty great about it). I’d be hard pressed to qualify any one of those as an act of immorality. Regardless, we put ourselves through the mental anguish of not living up to some sort of fictitious expectation we’ve allowed to govern us. Guilt is nothing more than a self-imposed shroud of shame around our Heart.
And so, what beats guilt? Love and forgiveness does. Every time. Unfortunately, we’ve allowed guilt to win far before Love and forgiveness have even entered the race. We’ve become conditioned to believe that our mistakes require punishment. That punishment, coming in the form of guilt.
Refusing guilt is about taking responsibility for the decision you’ve made and taking responsibility to allow Love and forgiveness to prevail. If you’ve made an honest mistake, know that you’re human and that your imperfection is what makes you perfect. If you pass on that invitation for whatever reason, recognize you wouldn’t put guilt on someone in the reverse situation, so why put yourself through hell for the same reason? Eat as many cookies as you want, but don’t attach guilt to the choice you’ve just consciously made. It’s a stick-to-your-guns type scenario. “I’m eating these cookies. Period.” Enjoy it and move on.
Taking responsibility is an extremely liberating feeling. We never get the most peace of mind when we get away with a lie, but rather when we’ve finally come clean. You weren’t late because of traffic, you were late because you didn’t leave early enough. Own it. You didn’t have the time to attend your friend’s pre-engagement engagement party (or whatever), you just didn’t have time for that. Own it. You didn’t have the money to donate to the United Way; you just wanted to spend it elsewhere. Own it. And, as soon as you’ve taken responsibility for all the choices you’ve made, usher in Love and forgiveness. Don’t even start on the teeter-totter of “was it right or was it wrong?” Or, “good decision-bad decision”. In every instance, nothing really life-ending happens. And, even if it does, Love and forgiveness is what will get you through. Guilt will never be your answer. I promise. Even if you did do something terribly immoral, just Love and forgive yourself.
I was inclined to finish by saying this is all “easier said than done” and to do your best with it. But, to be honest, if we keep repeating that idiom in the face of life’s challenges, we’ll just be forever talking and never doing. Start right now. Drop the guilt and pick up Love.
be Love.
