The Buddha said;
“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional”.
The Buddha is a smart guy.
So, you’re here on Earth. You’re a human being; at times, being human more than others. You’re also, and really truly, a spiritual being. Right now, for where we all are, we need both “beings”. They work together.
As human beings, we feel pain; a stubbed toe, a bad back, a mean insult, a shot to our ego or a broken heart. We feel pain. Arguably, no choice around it. But, the suffering that goes with that pain? What of that?
You can choose the cloud or you can choose the silver lining.
Most physical pain, like over-zealously being pushed into a dresser, will fade in time. Emotional and mental anguish; that one’s up to you.
The greatest barrier we face is ourselves. We like to attach, “good” and “bad” to everything. Something, “good” happens, and I’m happy; I’m enjoying myself. Something, “bad” happens, and I don’t feel so good; I feel out of control and a bit hopeless.
What if, when the “bad” things happen, we thought about how it’s integral to our path of growth? What if, we were able to know that, whatever it was, it was part of how we’ve chosen to grow as a spiritual being? Would you suffer less? Would you suffer at all?
Remember being a kid and it seemed like your parents just wanted to ruin your fun? Like, they were never kids before and didn’t understand what it was all about. As far as you were concerned, they were born as 40 year old grumps. If you’re a parent now, do you get it? Even if you’re not a parent, do you see?
Sure, some stuff was probably just to ruin your fun. But, most of it was because you didn’t know better. You didn’t know what was around the corner or down the road, but they did. Ultimately, it was done from a place of Love and for your well-being.
The Universe is your spiritual parent.
Everything the Universe does for you, it does with Love. It does it because it needs to be done for you. On the surface, it seems shitty, it seems unnecessary, it makes you look up and ask, “why are you doing this to me?” Without any specific details required, the answer is always, “because you need it to happen to you”.
Ending your suffering begins with Love. It begins with knowing that you are surrounded and guided by Love. You don’t have to ignore your feelings and pain. But, stop and tell yourself that what’s happening is because it’s important for you. You don’t need to understand why it’s happening. Remind yourself of this as much as it takes. Remind yourself that whatever is causing your suffering, isn’t. It’s the attachment of believing that, “this is bad”. Even emotionally, time heals all. There is nothing that stops us from making that time, now.
Live Love. Be Love.
There is no good or bad things happen in our life. But rather the category should be things have happened in the way that you wanted or expected or the other way around. No one can get everything they have wanted/expected/planned. I move on with my life if things didn’t pan out the way I wanted. That doesn’t mean I give up, but just to move to a new direction, new life, new view. Parents sometimes know what we want but they just don’t give to us. That is not because they don’t love us, but they are doing whatever they think is the best for me. This could be because once in their life, they thought they made a good choice but it didn’t turn out to be good. Thus, they try to stop us when we run into the same issue. I remember my parents used to say “I understand, but I am doing this to save your time to make better choices because I know this is not a good choice as I have been there”. I agree at some point. However, just because they have been there, it doesn’t mean we will make the exactly same choices or at least we won’t view the same object the same way as people are all different individuals. Besides, I won’t believe you that is a bad choice unless I have been there, right? I know I don’t have the right to comment on parenting skills to my parents or any other parent, which is because myself is not a parent, so they will say how can I have the right to comment on their skills. That is totally true, I am not a parent, and I probably will never be. But everyone has the right to express how they feel and that is the only way to communicate and to let my parents know I don’t like some of the choices that they have made to me. Well, at this point, I want to say, I don’t have any pain or at least I will hide them well in order to be strong. There is no need in my life to open my scar to anyone and that only belongs to me. Happy or pain, they are both part of us. Finally I want to say the world is beautiful. Because I was born in a family that my parents have the capacity and ability to give me everything that I have ever wanted from them; and have met so many great people in my life that make me strong, independent and positive. Be bright and be strong!
All of our influences are from experience. Our parents often try to guide us so that we won’t make the same “mistakes” they did. And, that’s okay. It’s okay for them to feel that is their responsibility to us. Ultimately, they do so out of Love. Sometimes, something difficult for us to see.
It is our choice to see the silver lining in everything. There are easier instances to do this and more difficult instances. But, the more we practice seeing the silver lining of the easier instances, the better we will be at our awareness of it. The more force we will be able to command with our Heart.
Be Love.