Tough. To not care. Pretty self-serving, too. Usually associated with a person of poor character; with a person that is anything but conscientious and conscious. No one wants to be that person, I don’t think?
That’s not the type of not caring that requires courage. That’s the type of caring that’s absent of self-awareness, of accountability and of truth to, ultimately, oneself.
The courageous sort of not caring is the sort where you know yourself; where you trust yourself; where you’re honest with yourself.
Having courage in not caring isn’t easy. It’s certainly, though, a practice in self-Love. It’s the place where, even though we may believe we don’t meet the expectations of the relationships and responsibilities around us, including those we put on ourselves, we’re doing the best we can. We’re honestly doing the best we can.
Knowing our best is a product of true introspection. No one can tell you what that is other than the voice in your heart and in your head. Right now, as I type this, I’ve not done my best in my reaction and response to something recent. I know this. I am aware of it. I feel it. And, because of that, I care about it. I wouldn’t be courageous if I didn’t care about it, I would be a coward. I would have to be dishonest with myself for it to be “ok”.
If I knew and felt I was at my best in that moment, I would be at peace regardless of the outcome. I would trust myself. Trust who I am. And, I wouldn’t need to care about the rest. I wouldn’t need to compromise my integrity or my values. But, when we’re not there, the question we need to ask is, “what will I do?”
Not caring is a slippery slope. When our pride and ego get involved, rather than our morality and tolerance, the slide down can be a quick one. And, a misguided one. That’s where we lose our footing between what’s actually true and what we’ve convinced ourselves to be true. Truth, is found in being heart-centered which leads to humility which leads to patience which leads to understanding. That’s where you find the courage to not care.
The practice in self-Love of all of this is accepting who you are, inside and out, but at the same time, not accepting being less than your infinite capacity for compassion and forgiveness. The easy way out is to shirk accountability for our actions (or holding others to theirs) by saying we did the best we could but really knowing we didn’t. It’s easier that way. Maybe it costs us a sleepless night or two, and then it fades. We forget about it. We move on from it. But, we don’t grow from it. We don’t evolve. We repeat it.
The root of the word courage is cor – the Latin word for heart. In it’s earliest interpretation, the word courage was meant as, “to speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart”. The easiest part about telling all of your heart is that it never lies. True courage to not care never comes before true courage to confront what it is.
Be Love.
