Since I’d started class, Evolution 101, I’ve tried to hold, and follow, the belief that life is school. Everything that happens, everyone that crosses our path, every choice that is made, is part of what we’re each here to learn.
And, although we’ll all, ultimately, graduate from the same lesson, the path we choose is only our own.
As a student, I’ve found it, admittedly, not to be an easy go. You’d think that embracing Love to guide you and bring perpetual positivity to your life, is a good thing. And, it is! But, it’s tough as shit. Especially, when you don’t get it “right”. And, I don’t get it right, a lot.
My latest lesson may, in fact, contradict a position I’ve held in the past or had even written about here. But, fortunately for me, that’s the beauty of this class; change is part of the curriculum. My spirit, mind and Heart will not experience, think and feel the same on day one as it will on day one thousand and one.
What I learned is that it’s okay to not send everyone to Love. (insert jaw drop here)
Doesn’t seem on par to proclaim being a student of Love yet restrict to whom you dish it out to, but it is. Self Love is what will graduate me from this school. Self Love is a big big deal. It is the greatest expedition for each and every one us. It’s the absence of such, that causes us to lie, cheat, attack and, especially, self deprecate. Our lack of self Love is met with the response that keeps us stuck to the low vibration that we’ve subjected ourselves to and, often, feel as though we’re sinking, like quicksand, into.
The key is to find the higher vibration. And, for me, right now, I’ve found that it’s not within drawing from myself to give Love to every Tom, Dick and Harry that enters my Universe. So, one day, I decided that, this guy (an actual person that crossed my path) that was really annoying the heck out of me and being, with very objective judgement, a huge jackass, it was okay to withhold my Love to him. More importantly, it was okay to self Love by forgiving myself that I felt this guy was an asshole. And, all this was occurring within me; said jackass being none the wiser.
With that bit of evolution, I shed the guilt of not being able to be Love to everyone and everything, all the time. I was able to let myself off the hook of feeling like a failure in the name of Love. But, the truth is, my vibrational state of the latter was higher than the former. Was it as high as it could possibly be? No. I know that to the top, I would send the asshole Love and mean it. I would embrace his jackass-ness and see his beauty. But, I’m not there yet. I’m where I am. And, that is in a place where I can think that guy is a dum-dum and that’s okay.
Thanks for the lesson, jerk. No really, I mean that. 🙂
Be Love.
