As much as I’d like to believe in a world that doesn’t include sadness, my feet are also somewhat firmly-ish planted in some semblance of realism. And, although I have a daily subscription to faith in Love, believing in crazy Universe shit and that time and space doesn’t really exist, there’s still the part of me that says “be realistic”. But, “be realistic”, in a good way.
Sad can definitely be “ain’t bad”. How? I think it requires starting at expectation. Sad sucks….sorta. Here’s a “sorta” angle. Sad can often equate to the following: not changing out of pajamas – good; laying on the sofa – good; not dealing with the crap of life – good; eating potato chips – good. So, if you ask me, I’m saying, “whoa! Sign me up for sad”.
But, the shadow that’s cast upon all of the aforementioned is how we approach said emotion. We bring sadness into our lives as a weight on our Heart. As something that makes us weaker, not stronger. Pajamas, sofa, avoiding life and potato chips are great. They won’t get you far in the long run, but they’re great. So, for a moment or two, who cares about the long run? Not everything has to be about what’s down the road. I mean, if the enlightenment wagon is all about being right f’in now, and sad is your “now”, then? Get on the damn wagon!
Sad doesn’t really have to be sad. Sad will pass. You’re not really meant to be there. The path to putting yourself right starts with just being on the path you’re on, right now. Your true self isn’t supposed to be a sad self. But, your true self also wants to go with flow of the Universe. And, sometimes the flow of your Universe sucks (so you think). Just go with it. Trying to fight the flow, even of something largely thought of as “bad”, just makes it worse. What really pulls us down is the unreasonable expectation of not allowing yourself to be sad. Or, even more counterproductive, being sad about being sad. I’ve done it. Sad about sad; it’s nuts.
Now, here’s the other thing. We need sad. Why? Evolution. Evolution is the name of the game. Anyone that’s here, renting a bag of bones, isn’t here because they’ve got it figured out. They’re here because they’re working on it. I don’t care how “put together” someone appears. If they’re here, they’re figuring their shit out. The choice is, do you think of your sadness as a building block or a building demolition? If we didn’t experience the array of emotions we do, you’d never know you were out of sync with who you’re supposed to be and, circular calculation alert, you’re supposed to be figuring out who you’re supposed to be.
Without doubt, there are going to be some people that are perpetually out to lunch on this one. But, you don’t have to be. Feel like shit, but don’t waste it. Cancel all your plans, watch television til you feel embarrassed, eat cookies for every meal of the day, but….BUT, take a second to understand why you’ve brought yourself into that space. Ask yourself or the heavens or the Universe why you feel the way you do and what you should do about it. Lose the battle, if you want, to sadness. But, don’t lose the lesson. I’m not even saying to need to come out on the other side with answer. But, don’t let the opportunity pass you by without asking the question.
Finally, if I can add one more spin on this; not allowing yourself to accept sad, is selfish. There’s someone that wants to help you. There’s someone that wants to feel meaningful to be there for you. To make you smile or offer a suggestion. To be sad with you or just to give you a hug. There is. I know there is. You know the great thing about hugs? When you give one, you instantly get one right back.
Sad is here is help all of us learn; to evolve. It’s here so that we can change what isn’t working in our lives. It’s here so that we can be proud of how we bounced back. And, it’s here so that you can help me and I can help you.
Sad ain’t bad; its reputation just precedes it.
Be Love.
And, sad. That’s ok, too.
