When we play the comparison game, no one wins.
We’re nearly always playing this game whether we know it or not. We compare ourselves to our friends, co-workers, strangers, celebrities, you name it. Even the non-stop inundation of advertising media is an indirect comparison of what we don’t have versus what we think we should have.
The result? It just doesn’t put us in a good place. Ever.
When we compare ourselves to someone we consider to be “better” than us, we put ourselves in a position of inadequacy. When we compare ourselves to someone we consider us to be “better” than; well, we just acknowledge that person’s inadequacy. And, when we evaluate our worth on something we don’t own, or think we need to have, we give power to our lack and attach ourselves to the temporary. Again, inadequacy.
The common denominator of all the above; it’s not Love.
Love isn’t about comparison. It doesn’t have standards or a checklist. It doesn’t care where you live, what you drive or what size of pants you wear. I’m not talking about outward Love, here. I mean the Love we have for ourselves. Or, when we’re engaging in comparison, more aptly, the Love we don’t have for ourselves.
When we compare, we attach what we believe to be valid reason as to why we don’t Love ourselves. We think we’re not good enough and wish we had something that someone else has; a trait, an attribute, a material item. We think this way because we believe it can make us better. It doesn’t. Conversely, we think we “love” ourselves when we believe we have something enviable to the rest of the world. And again, as much as no one else is better than us, we’re no better than anyone else. Believing we’ll Love ourselves more when we get that high-paying powerful job, or beautiful new home, or a nose job, isn’t going to be the answer, either.
The answer is, and always will be, Love.
The most wonderful part about all this is that, we’re all more than capable of shedding this invariably default impulse of comparison. Just very rarely when we’re looking, both figuratively and literally, in the mirror.
Think of who you really, truly Love in your life. Me, I have a couple of parents and a brother, just for starters. I don’t care what they do, what they wear, how they look or what they own – I Love them. I don’t compare any of them to other parents or brothers and wish I could swap. I Love them. Are there times where I wished they maybe did something they didn’t do or vice versa? Sure. I think that’s pretty normal. But, never does my Love for them waiver because of what they’ve done or haven’t done, what they accomplished or failed at, or because someone else could be “better”. They’re perfect for who they are.
And so, why do we think we’re not good enough? Why can’t we Love ourselves the way we Love our parents and our siblings and our partners and our children? Why do we need to be prettier, or lose 15 pounds, or have an expensive car before we can Love who we are? You’re deserving of your Love right now! You don’t need to do anything else than be who you are and open your Heart to yourself. You’re the biggest part of your life. You need you to get through all the challenges you face. Give yourself the support of your own Love. Show yourself the unrelenting, uncompromising Love you deserve for being exactly who you are.
You’re perfect.
be Love.
No one is perfect and no one is better than the other; it is a matter of who is happier with their lives. You can be happy as long as you want to be; and there is nothing to compare. No matter who you are or where you are at this stage of your life, we are all human beings and we all have the regular 3 meals a day. Thus, no one is superior than the other. The love we give to our family members are unconditional because we all know we can’t choose our parents or siblings. The love among our family members involve laugh and tears. Before we love anybody else, we have to love ourselves first. If you don’t love yourself, then don’t expect others’ love back. Never lose the ability of love.
Everyone is perfect for who we are. “Perfect” has as many definitions as it needs to. Yet, too often, we feel there is only one definition and that we do not meet it. We strive to be someone other than us. We strive to be something outside of what is in our Heart. Everything is in our Heart.
We can never lose the ability of Love. But, we can choose not to use it. Choose Love.
Be bright.