There’s a type of freedom that probably doesn’t get thought about too often. Ironically enough, that freedom is the freedom from our thoughts. There’s no one resistant to this. Our thoughts originate within us. They reside within us. They ruminate. They grow. There isn’t anywhere we can go that our thoughts can’t.
It’s easy to become consumed by our thoughts. Sometimes, to the point where it’s tough to know where, if any, the control is. It should make sense that we are in control, but then, why can’t we stop the thoughts? Or, alter them when we want to? When we need to. We can slip deeply into them without even knowing it. And, while I fully support and believe in practices like yoga and meditation to help keep us in the present moment and separate us from the endless spiral of our thoughts, you can’t always be bending, stretching and oming.
We’re all authors. We’re the writers of our stories. The thoughts we conjure up, sometimes with little to no outside concrete input, become the stories we write and tell ourselves. Often, fictional. As simple or complex as our imaginations can create. Those are the stories we tell ourselves.
As we repeat the stories, sometimes exactly the same as the last time, sometimes appearing different on the outside but really not, they start to become real for us. They fade out of make-believe and into non-fiction. They become our reality without even noticing.
We’re no longer the author. We’re the reader. We truly believe that what’s written there, is what is meant to be. Whether it’s apparent or not, we’ve let go of control – it just happens. It comes in the form of our reality and our perspective. And, how do you challenge a reality you’ve created without even knowing you’ve created it or that it can be challenged?
There are ways we try to challenge it; ways that can hurt us. Destructive choices and behaviours; lack of self-care, drugs, alcohol, isolation. These are the choices that act to numb the reality rather than to actually take it back. Reality is perspective. And, the tough part about perspective is that you’re stuck with your own unless you choose to really objectively challenge it, share it or open up to understanding a different one. But, we get tricked into thinking the perspective we have is the only one there is. Why? Because it’s silently worked itself into the false reality we’ve authored that we’ve now become the receiver of.
Two choices pull this all apart; speaking about it and listening about it. The tough love truth is that there isn’t only one perspective out there that can make sense. If that were the case, it wouldn’t instigate self-harm in the form of substance abuse, self-deprecation, violence or depression. Another tough love truth is that none of us knows everything about everything.
The solution? Communication. The right communication; honest, authentic, vulnerable and open. Communication, literally, has the ability to find a path to solution for everything. We have to be willing to accept that our reality and perception may not be the only one out there that can be true. It’s easy to be guilty of this; to think that what we think is the only way to think. It’s not true. Sharing what our reality looks like, the willingness to listen to another perspective – that is where we find freedom. Whether it’s family, a friend, or a counselor; different people have different perspectives. To think that where you are is the only place you can be, especially if you don’t want or deserve to be there, is not the only option. It is only one perspective that can be shifted, changed or extinguished with the right kind of help. It’s not so much as even believing in another reality or solution, just start with believing in the possibility.
Be Love.
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