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doing the same thing + expecting a different result = insanity

Imprisonment – the old way Freedom – the new way


I believe I am separate from others. I believe I am separate from a higher being. I even believe I can be separate from who I truly am.



I am connected to everyone and everything. We support each other.



I withhold information from others and the truth from myself. I never allow anyone, including myself, to know who I really am.

Honesty and openness

With honesty, I am who I truly am. I do not withhold who I am for fear of pain or loss of control. I can never really know or predict the response to my honesty and should, therefore, stop assuming responsibility for the emotions, growth and reactions of others to my honest, non-manipulative communication.

Fear-based monogamy

Fear of loss of a relationship separates me from the vulnerability of having to deal with other relationships. Therefore, I feel (separate) and “safe”.

Relationships by choice

There is no inherent “right” or “wrong” to any type of relationship. All relationships are inherently neutral and “okay”. If I choose monogamy, I do not expect or need my partner to do the same.

Conditional love

I will love you, only so long as you fulfill my needs and expectations. I withdraw my love if you do not satisfy me.

Unconditional Love

I Love you without trying to change you. I do not require you to fulfill my needs or have expectations of you.


I need commitment in order to avoid my fear of having to deal with other relationships. I believe commitment ensures security. This is a false sense.

Being in the present

I stay present. I do not need commitment because I trust the future to bring me what I require and teach me what I need to learn.


I want, expect and try to get others to fulfill my expectations and needs. I use my relationships to get what I need.

No expectations

I enjoy the relationships of others but without expectations.


I use obvious or cloaked manipulation to facilitate my needs being met. I do this to remain protected from my own fears. I see others as who I need them to be and not for who they are.


I allow my relationships to be who they need to be. Only then can I see who they truly are.

The need to control

I do not believe that everything that happens to me is for my highest good. I try to control and shape all aspects of my life and relationships.

Absolute trust

I know and trust that everything occurs for me and my highest good. I have no desire to control anyone.


I depend on and need someone outside of myself to make me happy.


I recognize that I, and only I, am the creator of my own reality. Therefore, only I am the creator of my own happiness.

A person cannot fully love more than one person

I believe that if a relationship I have also loves another relationship, that there is less love for me.

A person can fully Love more than one person

There is a never-ending source of Love for everyone to share. No matter how many people I Love and how many people Love me, it does not diminish the strength and force of any source of Love.


It is not good when a relationship has less time for me.


If I truly Love myself unconditionally, the time spent with myself is equal to the time spent with another. The time I spend with myself is as enjoyable as the time I spend with others.


I believe there is always the potential to experience pain. I choose this.


I know I am the creator of my happiness and do not choose pain.


Ending or losing a relationship creates pain.


I recognize this relationship no longer serves me. I am grateful for the experience I have shared and the lessons I have learned. I allow myself to move in another direction from the relationship with no animosity or hard feelings. Only Love.


I require the physical presence of others. I am not comfortable with me.


I know that I am connected to everyone, including those I Love. I know I am never alone even when I am by myself in physical form.

Externalized anger

I am angry at the outside world for not meeting my expectations.

Internalized recognition

I recognize that I have created a reality that I do not prefer.


I, sometimes, hurt others. Sometimes, I am hurt by others.


I create my own reality, which includes other people’s reactions to my actions. I can never be hurt by another person unless I choose to be hurt. Only I am responsible for my reactions to the comments and actions of others.

External responsibility

My relationship partner is seeking to have their needs met by me. A person’s needs can never be truly met by anyone but themselves. This creates expectations, attachment and possibly ill-fated feelings.

Internal responsibility

I am pure in my intention toward the relationship. I am 100% who I truly am. I am fully responsible for what, in my integrity, I would like to give to the relationship.

*published with permission from Aromansse – yoga meditation healing []

how to use Love to get rich



….with happiness!

(had to rope you in somehow)

Statistical analysis has actually proven that, contrary to popular belief, material items will leave you empty and continually searching to fill that void. Whereas, Love is the most cost effective path to happiness.

Unofficial summary of data gathering:

Your rolled up hipster jeans will go out of style; hugs never will.

Unlimited talk and text plan – $56.50 per month; looking someone in the eye and telling them how much they mean to you – no charge, every time.

Your overpriced BMW will break down; opening your Heart to a meaningful and touching moment will make you break down.

$500k can buy you a beautiful house; but, home is really where the Heart is.

An expensive watch will tell you what time it is; it’s always time for Love.

The gym membership you never use costs about $700 per year; exercising your ability for compassion will make you stronger than a million squats.

It’s pretty nice sitting in the corner office with the big paycheck; without Love, life will be pretty empty at the top.

Who knows what you spent on those Cartier sunglasses?; watching a beautiful sunset costs nothing.

A 4-carat diamond will reflect and refract the light around you; devoting yourself to living a life of Love will enlighten you.

You owe it to yourself to have a life of Love and happiness.

PS I have nothing against hipsters and their rolled up pants.

be Love.



mothers day


10 years ago, if you’d told me I’d be one of those guys that would call his mom twice a week to check in, buy her flowers “just because” and stop in with only the intention to say hello, I woulda said, “not a chance”.

But, that’s also when I lived at home and, more importantly, with a pretty entitled chip on my shoulder. The things my mom did for me, the bullshit I put her through, to me, was all part of the program. That’s what moms did for their kids, right?

Fast forward to only a handful of years ago and a completely enlightening realization on my behalf (better late than never), and my opinion couldn’t be more different. My mom is nothing short of pretty amazing. She does anything she can for me and asks, quite literally, for nothing in return. Her legal obligation toward me ended a lot of years ago on my eighteenth birthday, yet she continues to draw from an infinite source of caring and generosity far beyond any duty or expectation.

She truly is a reflection of unconditional Love.

I’ve been a jerk and smart-ass; a brat and a baby. Yet, it’s as though she has the shortest memory as is humanly possible. (I’ve had a good share of rather shining son moments, too. Just for the record). She, unequivocally, will do anything that is within her power to help me. And, as I accumulate years of life under my belt, I see more and more that this is a very special thing and has absolutely nothing to do with obligation or entitlement. When I got assigned a mom, I got a real good one.

For me, amidst all the lessons my mom has taught me over the course of my existence, the most powerful is that of her unconditional Love; her living example of what our Hearts can do when we act from a source of Love. Granted, many people will say that it’s because she’s my mom and sure, maybe there’s a bit of argument there. But, I assure you, the Love she shows me is solely to do with the person she is, not some agreement she signed. And, it’s something that we can all be. It’s something we can all use as inspiration.

If any of this resonates with you, I’d like to put you to a little task. It’s definitely okay to buy your mom flowers or a card, or take her to brunch or make her dinner on her special day. But, take 30 seconds to extend a gesture that costs absolutely nothing and carries more value to her than anything you could ever buy. Tell your mom how much you appreciate her and that because of her, every day in your life is a special day. Tell her you Love her and hug with all your Heart.

Now, if only my ma was internet savvy and could read this. I’d definitely score some brownie points and make a bid to overtake my brother for no.1 son.

Happy Mother’s Day!

be Love.


don’t resolve, re-solve with Love



Often, when we look for resolution, we’re just looking to fix something that’s already happened. We’re responding reactively as opposed to proactively.

I try my best to subscribe to the idea that things don’t happen to us, but rather for us. I try to recognize and support every learning opportunity from each experience that life presents me. But, what if we knew the lesson before it was being taught? What if we were armed with the answer to a question that hasn’t yet been asked? This isn’t to infer that we should be arrogant in our intelligence or require us to be guarded and defensive or be a step ahead of the curve, it just requires one thing.


This is what Love does; it provides us with the security, confidence and ability to handle any situation we face and celebrate every great success. I know that it’s amazingly difficult to accept that Love can be the answer in every circumstance, but I know it can be your truth as well as mine.

Very honestly, I struggle with this idea each and every day. I ask myself the question, “how is Love going to help me here? It won’t make this work problem go away. It can’t pay my bills. It won’t build me a deck.” But, it’s not about what it can give you; it’s about being able to give yourself to it.

Surrendering to Love is what can provide you that security, confidence and trust in who you are and your place here. In fact, as I write this, there is a great deal weighing on my mind. I wasn’t even certain I would be able to get this post done to meet my self-enforced schedule. However, the more I type the word “Love”, the more I think of the word “Love”, I feel a bit of that weight lift from my mind. Allowing the idea in, right at this moment, is helping me to focus on a grander scale; one that isn’t wrapped up inside my head.

Whenever you feel a wave of negative emotion trying to push you over, think “Love”, repeat “Love” in your head. Just try to let it absorb you. As I’ve said before, Love won’t solve your problems. But, if you live through Love, you won’t have any.  

Allow Love to be your answer all the time.

be Love.


getting your pants less on fire


Every time you tell the non-truth, aka lie, you deny who you are. You deny yourself the Love you deserve from you.

To have the courage, commitment and conviction to be honest all the time is no easy task. It’s just inevitable that at some point we’re going to lie. Whether it’s a white lie, a grey one, red, purple; it doesn’t matter. By avoiding the truth, we’re avoiding the truth of our self. And really, is it “inevitable” that we’ll all lie at some point or are we all just agreeing with an idea that we’ve been conditioned to believe? Have we simply accepted that to “successfully” get through life, we’ll all have to lie at some point, or is that just a lie? If a tree falls in the forest but no one is around to hear it, does it….moving on.

Living with honesty, first and foremost, means living honestly with yourself. It means taking ownership over the opinions you have, the decisions you’ve made and letting go of the daily external influences trying to convince us of what we should believe about ourselves.

“Yeah but, Jimmy, some things are just easier to fib about rather than tell the truth and create a conflict or hurt someone’s feelings.” I get that. But, I respectfully counter by saying that cutting corners for the small stuff that doesn’t matter is just going to primer you to be able to cut corners for the big stuff that does matter. And, if those fibs don’t really matter, then why not just tell the truth?

Your truth has nothing to do with anyone else. It has to do with you. It’s being able to understand that you deserve to Love yourself unconditionally. And, it’s being able to understand that those who don’t Love you unconditionally for who you are, is okay.  

Recently, I created an opportunity to share something personal with someone. To say I was uncomfortable is a veritable understatement. Every internal negative self-talk reared its ugly head – “I’m a loser”, “this person will think less of me”, “I’m weak.” And, on it went. Regardless, my Heart wouldn’t let me off the hook. It kept telling me that there would be no way for this person to accept me as I am if I didn’t accept myself as I am. If I wasn’t forthright with them, then I wasn’t accepting who I am. I was just lying to myself.

As nervous as I was, there was an excitement I had inside of me. Was I going to look like jerk? Quite possibly. Was I okay with it? I was. I felt like I was going to set a bit of myself free. Even though that was my truth right now, the most encouraging part of it all was that I knew I could change it. We can change anything. But, the change has to happen through us. Whether that’s changing how we think, changing what we know, changing whatever; it’s all within us. We can’t look to the outside for our answer.

Next time you feel like you “need” to lie in a situation, ask yourself from what source are you denying yourself Love and from what source are you looking for Love. The Love which you find and create within yourself will be all that you need to give and receive from others.

be Love.