save it for chocolates.

heart box

I just had a moment.

One of those, “I’m bullshit”, moments. Not the greatest when it happens; but in this case, very necessary.

As I started writing this original post, I typed….and paused. I typed, again; pause, again. Erase. Pause. Type. Bullshit. Trash.

Whenever I set out to write something, what’s in my mind is, “what am I going to learn from this?” Writing, for me, is finding what’s already inside of me; what’s already in my Heart. I am the teacher and the student to no one else but me. If there’s positive fallout to my thoughts, that’s ever more bonus.

On this one, I was neither teacher nor student. I was full of shit instead of being full of my Heart. And, right now, it’s full of a lot. Mostly, it’s full of being packed away. (That sentence makes sense to me).

The world wants to put my Heart in a box. It wants to tell me how I’m supposed to Love, who I’m supposed to Love, when I’m supposed to Love and why I’m supposed to Love. It’s like a grocery list of all the things you need for a recipe. Only, when you get home and unpack the bags to start cooking, you realize you’ve forgotten the most important thing, the motherf’ing Love, Wolfgang.

Love should be about Love. It’s not about obligation or if it looks good on paper. It’s always only about what fills your Heart – not filling the box with your heart.

We “love” because of guilt, because of remorse and because of regret. We “love” because we’ve got too much invested. We “love” because it’s our mother, father, sister, uncle. We “love” because we’re scared of not having any. We “love” because we think we don’t know any better.

We do.

Know better.

A wonderful friend of mine once sent me a quote that said, “respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you or makes you happy”. My version, “Love yourself enough to walk away from anything that isn’t Love. And, if it is Love, don’t let go”.

It’s not supposed to be difficult. But, you make it difficult, I make it difficult, your mother-in-law makes it difficult, the guy down the street makes it difficult; somehow, but he does. 🙂

When Love really fills your Heart, there’s no fitting into the box. As I write this new post, bullshit aside, hand on my chest, there is no box. There’s no way there ever could be. What’s in there could never fit inside of any box. So, why let it. Why try to fit it in there? Why not just let it be as big as it possibly could be?  No guilt, no remorse and no regret.

And, that’s what I learned.

Be Love.


Comments ( 2 )

  1. Replygreen-moonlight

    Love is love, there is no rule or boundary in love. This weekend, I watched a show talks about a 38 fabulous girl from London England fell in love with someone who is a drug traffic that serves his life time sentence in Bali, Indonesia. The interviewer asked her if it will be easier if she had a relationship with someone in London. She said she can’t answer that question as we can’t pick love. Love happens whenever it happens and all we can do is to follow and listen to our hearts. You can think whatever you are, shit, dumb, money, or koala bear etc. In my eyes, you are perfect in your own way; and a wonderful individual full with love. I am not living in a perfect world or situation that I can just stop what I am doing right now and jump to the next plane to the country that I want to visit. However, I do think about it. I don’t think about the consequence, but only the fun part. There is nothing wrong about thinking about it. I feel slightly better after thinking about it. Don’t stress out and don’t doubt in yourself. You are just as perfect as yesterday, nothing changed of you, but only your views of your life. Keep on loving and keep on being yourself. And remember there is an end to everything, good or bad ending, there is an ending! Good night and sleep tight!

  2. Replyjames jaworsky

    Perhaps we cannot "pick" Love, but we can choose Love. Love is in us, through and through. If we choose to listen to it, it will show us what we need to do. It will show us where we need to go. Maybe that is to jump on the next plane to the country you want to visit? Maybe that is to quit your job or start taking Spanish lessons? There is no ending to Love. Just always a beginning. Be Love.

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