This past week was Vulnerability Week; well, not officially. Like, it wouldn’t be on one of those “super inclusive of everyone” calendars or anything. What I mean is that, I dumped out a lot of feeling this past week. At least, for me, it was Vulnerability Week.
At first, I tried to keep it in. For lots of reasons.
Who cares?
Be a “man”.
Don’t show weakness.
You’re being stupid.
The list goes on.
I’ll tell you this, rather unequivocally; keeping it in is not going with the flow. The Universe does not support putting a mask on your Heart. I think that I thought I wanted to push it down, but I couldn’t. It was pretending.
Was it awesome to not pretend? No. It was tough. I felt little. I felt like a wuss. I felt like it was a mistake. But, above all of those clouds, I felt like I was being who I really was. I still had trouble accepting who that person was when it came to what I was feeling, but it was okay to be real. It was okay to put my Heart on my sleeve, or on the table, or in a text message, or wherever. Just so long as I putting it out there; to get stepped on, to get welcomed, to get Loved. It didn’t matter.
We’re all fighting battles – very cliché, but very true. Some battles, I’m learning to share with others. Some, I still have locked up tighter than Fort Knox. It’s just the way it is right now. It may remain that way, or it may change. It’s all centred around how big you want to allow your Heart to be.
Two things happen when you open the vault.
1 – you connect with your Self.
2 – you connect with the person sitting across from you, or on the other end of the phone, or laying beside you.
Actually, number 2 may not exactly happen that way all the time. But, you’ll still learn something equally as important. You’ll learn who you may NOT connect with. It’s like electricity. You can’t just start connecting random wires together hoping for success 100% of the time. Chances are, you’re gonna get shocked a few times.
When we get vulnerable, we’re asking to Love who we are. Not for someone else to Love us, but for us to Love us. We’re allowing ourselves to look at who we are underneath what we’re told and taught to believe we should be. It really isn’t easy. It takes a tonne of courage to say,
“I’m jealous”.
“I feel inadequate at my job”.
“I’m having a hard time being happy with my appearance”.
“I’m struggling with life”.
But, when you find that courage, you also issue a challenge. You issue a challenge to yourself on how to overcome all of those obstacles. If you don’t allow those thoughts, feelings and emotions out, how will you ever know what’s truly holding you back inside? Sometimes, just changing a light bulb won’t work. You need to knock down the wall and see which wires are fried, or crossed, or maybe not even there.
There will be people that will embrace you. There will be others that won’t understand. You’ll make a connection with those you were meant to. And, you’ll lose those that just won’t care for your “drama”. Regardless, you are the electrician. You have to find the light.
Live Love.
Be Love.
Most of the time, you get what you put in. Of course you don’t get connect to everyone around you. However, ask yourself this question “did you treat everyone reasonably the same?”. If you treat one such a person nicer to the other, and he/she treats you the same way, then of course both of you feel happy as you both get what you give in. However you can’t expect the rest of others to treat you the same as that particular person who treats you extremely well (because you first treats that person nice) if you don’t treat them relatively the same. If there is such a person who treats you nicer than you treat him/her, then that is a real friend. My past experience has taught me to treat everyone the same as much as I can even deep down in my heart I may like someone more than the other. I keep whatever the feelings inside, but outside I have to show my respect and courtesy at a reasonably equal amount. Also in my past experience, there are people who are extremely nice to me such as answering my phone call most of the time when I need to talk to them or responding my email in 2 minutes, etc. I do appreciate. However, this doesn’t mean those who don’t do the same are less nicer to me. People are all different individuals and they have the right to choose the way to show people how caring they are to others. To be honest, real friends in my opinion no longer to be I have to see this person everyday and talk to this person everyday etc. There are people in my life that I don’t see day to day, but my love and caring for them doesn’t decrease at all and actually I feel by time passes I love them even more. This is because there is no distance between heart and heart. My heart beats for those I love and I don’t have to talk or email or text them everyday. But I know if I really need help, they will be respond and will help me. They are never gone as they have become part of me, the tough part of me. Be strong and be bright.
I agree very much that we need to treat everyone the same – but, I think I have a different view on what “the same” means.
To me, treating everyone the same doesn’t necessarily mean being nice to everyone or offering everyone a bite of your sandwich. Treating everyone the same, in my opinion, is by living from your Heart. It’s by calling upon your Heart to be your guide when you’re interacting with others, including yourself.
“Same” for me, is saying that my Heart will be vehicle by which I have relationships in my life, no matter who I’m engaging in that relationship with. That being said, when that interaction comes out of your Heart, I don’t think it will look the same because, as you said, “people are all different individuals”. As such, although we have all the choice in the world on how to response or react, it often takes a different complexion each time.
And, again, as you said, those real connections you develop will stay. They are bonded from the Heart. At the same time, the connections you don’t make, are also bonded my the Heart. It’s your Heart saying that, “this one doesn’t work”. And, that’s okay. 🙂
Thank you for your message.
Be Love!