If there’s one thing I’m learning more and more on this journey, it’s not apologizing for how I feel.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not as though I’m walking around saying, “hey, guy, maybe buy some pants that cover your ankles. It’s not as cool as you think and will probably be out of style in like, 4 months, anyway. And, your socks are obnoxious, by the way” Or, asking the less-than-adept patrons at the Superstore why they like wasting 4 weeks of my life not being able to use the extremely on-screen guided self-checkout lanes. “This machine does not accept cash. Would you like to proceed with your order?” – “Yes”. Then, when it comes to pay, they’re blowing up the attendant because all they have is paper money. It’s not even like I needed these bananas all that bad, anyway.
I digress.
When I speak about “how I feel”, I mean, who I really am when it comes to my Heart.
When I’m coming from my Heart, I’m telling someone how much they mean to me. Or, it’s trying to, with kindness and understanding, derail a person’s rant or anger not worrying that they might think I’m not supporting them. I’m supporting them. I’m just not supporting their anger because it doesn’t get anyone anywhere. Or, it’s speaking up (not always. At the least, not joining in) in defense of whoever isn’t there, that’s getting torn to ribbons by everyone else. Or, it’s stuff like writing, “Love is always working overtime” on the white board in my office not giving a shit who sees it.
When you’re coming from your Heart, there’s nothing to be sorry for or embarrassed about. Granted, sometimes I think I’m being a bit of a wuss or overly dramatic with certain things I share, but if that’s the case, so be it. Truthfully, there’s more than enough things I’m not okay with about myself, that if I’m not okay with who my Heart wants me to be, which is to be my true self, then I might as well board the Titantic.
The great thing about living from your Heart is that it doesn’t know what fear is. Maybe it seems like it does, but that’s not your Heart talking. That’s the rest of you. It’s your over-thinking brain and your predisposed nature to expect the worst and your loud-mouthed ego that doesn’t want you to be a beautiful messenger of Love. It’s everything other than your Heart trying to sabotage you. There’s nothing wrong with using with your head, but don’t substitute for it for what you feel in your Heart.
Being who you really are, Love, will be supported by the universe. If we want it to, if we’re open to the idea; the universe will have your back. It’s not going to give you anything you don’t need right then. And, there’s never anything to be scared of. Ever.
If there’s one thing I’m learning more and more on this journey, it’s not apologizing for who I am.
I’m glad Love is patient. It knows exactly who I’m supposed to be, I’m just trying to catch up.
be Love.
Never apologize of who you are and how you feel. Being honest to yourself is the first step of learning respect and love. If we can’t be honest to ourselves, how can we even respect and love others. Those people who tell other people you should feel this way, or this is how you should do or you should feel sorry for… are selfish and true cowards. A few years ago, I would listen to them and would think what I have said or have done have hurt them; but then I have realized it is not what I have said or done that upset them, it is actually their twisted understanding of life that actually hurt them. They are lack of love, that is why they are easily get “hurt” or feel upset. Be realistic that everyday we hear or face stuff other people say and do to us that may upset us, but if we pause for a second and ask ourselves, is this actually him or her upset me? No, it is ourselves. If I am positive and know that I am right, then I have nothing to worry about. If I feel upset, it is probably myself have put me in that negative zone. I agree with you that when we are full with love in our heart, things can’t be wrong, if it goes wrong, then the love we have probably is not pure or true love. Those people who said that they understand you probably not truly understand unless they have been through what you had been through. Those people who said you should be sorry of…. have trouble to see the fact that it is not other people upset them, it is themselves. I remember someone told me “you must feel…” and No, that is not true and why? Because he/she is not me, they don’t know how I feel. I don’t feel bad or ashamed of how I feel. I have my eyes, head and heart to see and feel what I want to feel; which I don’t need to see and feel through others. What I have learned in the past is if someone really wants to know how I feel, I will be honest to them; otherwise I just keep to myself and I have no problem of dealing with it by myself. Learning is life-long journey and I learn how to deal with different subjects & feelings everyday. Keep on being you, your feelings forms part of your unique personality; and your personality is what attract people around you and that is the whole reason why they decide to be your supportive friends. I like you and support you as long as you are you! Be love and take care!
Thank you for your wonderful message. Your words, thoughts and feelings are very appreciated and meaningful.
Recently, I have had a few conversations about how no one person can truly understand or feel what another person feels because we are all ourselves and different; much like what you said. This is where I think it is so important that we always think of our own Heart and that of the other person. Whether we can understand or not doesn’t matter. What matters is we have the openness to hear that person or be there for that person or, simply, not judge or create expectations of that person. It’s the ultimate exercise in compassion.
Not only should we not apologize for who we are, but we shouldn’t make others feel or expect them to apologize for who they are. We all face our own challenges each and every day. Like you said, it is up to us to decide if we can going to approach things positively or negatively. And, a positive approach, regardless of if something is bad or has hurt us, is how we live with Love.
“Learning is a life-long journey”; I couldn’t agree more. Learning to be Love will never end. It’s up to us to make the choice to be the student AND the teacher.
Again, thank you very very much for sharing your words.
You are very very welcome. Actually I also want to say thank you as I really like the contents of the posts from your website of “theheartmovment”. I want to say “thank goodness, there is someone has created such a wonderful web by giving so many meaningful thoughts and insights”. By sharing and commenting on your posts, it is a relief to me; I am on the journey of self-study in love, respect, giving, receiving and forgiveness etc. I have many questions along the way, and lots of your posts from you have answered and resolved my questions that had bothered me for a long time. So thank you very much!
I agree with you that not only don’t feel sorry to our own feelings, but also be open and respect to others’. It is a two-way respect. Sometimes people, including me for sure are double-standard; i.e. focused on too much of my own feelings but forget other people also have their feelings. We don’t have to sacrifice each other’s feeling, but rather like you said be open and respect each other.
Enjoy your long weekend! Looks like it is going to rain, so if you happen to camping, or any outdoor activities, remember to bring your raincoat and herbal tea. Take care!
Anything that isn`t an expression of love is a cry for love, which means that expressions of fear are just cries for love. When we view the world from this perspective, our world begins to change. Great post Jim. I`m not sorry either.
Thank you, brother. One day, I hope that when I cry for Love, it will be out of joy.
Always Love,