i <3 me; pt. ii - the return of Love


Without doubt.

It ain’t easy to Love your self. It ain’t even easier to realize you’re not Loving your self. I take pause. This isn’t about actually Loving your self. This is about trying to Love your self. It’s about trying because this whole deal, this whole “Love your self” deal, is as much about the journey as it is the destination. You won’t get it until you get it. Get it? You have to try.

The conscious thought of Loving ourselves is probably not a frequent occurrence, if maybe an occurrence at all. Yet, it’s not uncommon to come across the idea in our daily lives. Many an advertisement says we’ll love ourselves more if we just owned ______. Or, there’s even just the wall art at Hallmark that says “Love Yourself” that’s free to look at though the window, free to be reminded of; that passes by as quickly as it approached. But, that’s kinda just it. We see it, we hear it, we know it, but we don’t actually get it.


Loving yourself isn’t easy. But, I’ll tell you this. It’s worth it. You owe it to your Self; your real Self. You and your Self are in this til the end, side by side, arm in arm, to the death. Literally. What’s more reason to take this seriously? With a smile on your face, of course (not too serious). 😀

There are many reasons for one not to Love themselves. Lots. Diminished self worth, hurtful past relationships, hurtful current relationships, the experience of abuse (be it physical, mental or emotional), self-image, broken trust and, very simply but most poignantly, not being Loved back. It’s going to be an uphill. But, the overriding reason to Love your self, is because of You. It’s what you deserve, nothing less and everything more.

So, how?

There’s some magic to it, but no magic formula. Loving your self is about some universal constants and some flexibility and forgiveness. Loving your self needs a whole of tonne compassionate Love as well as some tough love, too.

Universal constants apply to everyone. But! They get smooshed together with who You are as an individual; they become about you. Elaborate; everyone needs to be active; you’re welcome to argue that universal constant, but I won’t. You’ve got one body and you should love it. Having a healthy, positive physical self is an integral component of building the foundation to your mental and emotional self. This is a truth no matter who you are. Exercising and being active attracts positive energy. It helps flush out stagnant energy and brings in new, vital, clean energy into your body. And, there’s endless ways to do this. Play sports, lift weights, go to yoga, walk your dog, walk someone else’s dog, ride a bicycle; endless endless choices. Feeling good from exercise and activity – universal constant. How you want to do it – your individuality.

Creativity. Creativity opens up pathways to and from our soul. It expands your being and gives you an opportunity to be free, and it’s fun! You can write, paint, dance, sing, do crafts, build Lego; it’s whatever you like. It’s just a matter of allowing that channel of energy to flow through you. And, doesn’t require you to think too much or over analyze. You just….feel.

Music! Listen to music! Absorb the energy behind the words and notes. Allow the rhythm to permeate your exterior. Just let go into it. Whether you want to listen to Thirty Seconds to Mars or Kenny Chesney, just go all in and be the person who’s belting it out at the traffic light like no one else is on the road. Let the frequency lift you.

It’s about participated in your life. It’s the groundwork. It’s the stuff that you don’t actually have to try that hard to achieve. Just find things you like to do. Find things that truly feel rewarding. Ditch the sofa. Get off of social media. Eat healthful foods. Appreciate nature. Meditate. Heck, actually, all of life is a meditation! No one’s ever encouraged anyone to spend more time watching television or to eat a bag of donuts everyday. Sure, a little bit here and there with the Netflix and the crullers, but the stuff that really counts is the stuff that fosters your being. You’ll know what these are for You. You won’t have to search very deeply because they, themselves, are not overtly deep. Just look. Just feel. Just take care of your self.

So now, the really not easy one. Your Self. Big ‘S’.

This is the one that’s really tough. This is the one that doesn’t need a mirror to see what you don’t like about your self. This is the one that music can’t drown out the thoughts and the anxieities that don’t ever seem to dissipate. This is the one that, no matter how tall the wall is, will always climb over unless you’re willing to just take the wall down.

Taking care of your Self is all about how you treat your Heart. It’s about allowing everything about you to rise to the vibrational frequency that your Heart operates on. And, this is where the toughest love comes in. To Love one’s Self is to experience true vulnerability, true pain and true triumph. This isn’t the one that’s readily tangible. It’s everything else. It’s acknowledging the underlying reasons why you don’t care enough to experience all the joys (and fears) of who you are. The tough love truth is that you have to deal with your shit. We all do. We all have it. We’ve all experienced some thing or things that have brought us these lessons we need to learn. And, no. As much as exercising, listening to your favourite song and eating kale are part of the solution, they, in and of themselves, are not the solution.

Growth and expansion of your consciousness and soul requires that you break out of the shell that holds You back. Then, once you break out of that one, you break out of the next one and the next one and the next one, til you no longer even notice you’re doing it. And yes, it probably means going to hell and back. Or, so it will seem. But, it makes sense, right? We went through hell to get into this predicament we’re all a part of, in our own way. Seems to follow that getting out means going back through.

And so, there will be instances whereby you need to exercise compassionate Love to your Self. Forgiveness, kindness, reasonable expectation, the allowance to break down. But, you will also have to employ tough love. No excuses, motivation, setting goals and putting the pieces back together. And sometimes, you’ll need both compassionate Love and tough love simultaneously; like when you tell your self to find the will and the strength to want to face what you don’t want to face. If you don’t, it won’t go away. The lessons we need to learn are there to be learnt, not ignored. When we learn, we get bigger. When we ignore, the distress gets bigger. It gets stronger. It brings us down even further. And, the reason you should care is because it will become to loud to hear what’s in your Heart. You need to create the pathway to realizing what your Heart already does; your beauty and your Love.

You have to discover why you don’t like what you see in the mirror; it’s not because of the actual reflection. You have to overcome why you never feel good enough; it’s not because you’ve never experienced success. You have to learn why open and honest communication isn’t your strong suit; it’s not because you don’t have the words. You have to acknowledge the reasons why you’ve built a wall around your Heart; it’s not because you were a brick layer in a past life. This is all stuff we have to face; to come to terms with. It’s not done in solitude. It’s done with help. It’s done with choices and people and relationships that raise you to a higher vibration, not keep you where you are or pull you lower. It’s not done by drugs, alcohol, over-eating, destructive relationships or anything that is a low vibrational match to the crap you’re already in. It needs to be above that. It’s even not immersing yourself in productive things like exercise or work or meditation. You still have to face what you don’t want to face. It’s acknowledging the fear of how far away you are from where you really want to be in your life.

This one is tough, it really is. These words are not meant to cast a shadow of unreasonable simplicity. It’s going to take all of your being. It’s something that only you can do, but it’s not something you can do alone. Your Heart knows what it needs to be helped. It’s the place you need to go to first. You will be able to feel all the imbalances in your life through It. And, you will feel scared; that’s what the emotion will be. But, it’s not fear of what’s inside, it’s fear of breaking the pattern that has become so familiar. Your brain doesn’t know the difference between a positive or a negative pattern. It just knows the familiarity, comfort and efficiency of repeating a pattern. Attempting to break that pattern, invokes fear. But, to ascend to meet your Self, the pattern needs to be broken. That is the catalyst to changing and building your greater vibration. It’s how you treat your Self; how you judge your worth; how you perceive what you deserve; who you build relationships with; how you choose to Love others; how you choose to be Loved or loved (there’s a big difference between those two in my book); and how you choose to Love your Self.

The reason that this one is so tough is because no one can tell you how to do it. You have to figure it out yourself. You have to choose it yourself. We all do. You have to help yourself. You have to ask for help. You have to make tough choices. You have to make good choices. Ultimately, you have to lift your self from where you are to where your Self is. Going up is always more challenging than falling down. But, that higher vibration, that higher point of attraction, is all magic, art and science together. It’s everything. You’re everything.

Be Love.

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