Monthly archives "March 2019"

there’s nothing to fear….?

We are motivated by fear. We act to avoid consequence. We say things so as not to upset people, we do things so as not to disappoint people, we exhaust ourselves mentally to meet deadlines, we deplete ourselves emotionally to sidestep communicative conflict; we regulate any number of behaviours for cause of perceived criticism, reprimand and punishment.

For most, conquering fear may seem insurmountable. A product of our human evolution, fear is a very much ingrained into our core emotions. To pinpoint the moment we learned what fear was may bring us back to a remembrance of instinct rather than one of voluntary learning.

Fear is not usually met with positivity or optimism. In truth, though, there is argument that our response to fear and the threat of its consequence motivates with great force and power; albeit, a force and power striving for survival rather than to constructively improve one’s self.

For use of its motivation, can we reframe fear? Can we approach this instinctual response through a positive context? Can we move ourselves to want to experience the beauty of life through fear?

There can be a gentleness to fear. Fear of a life of being stuck in the same place; fear of a life of not expanding and evolving; fear of a life not experiencing true, internal peace; fear of a life of not giving as much Love as we’re capable to give. And, of not receiving all that is given to us.

It is to recognize that everything is temporary and fleeting other than Love. That is the only part of this life that you take with you. It is only part of this existence that will be etched onto your soul. There is a gentleness to fearing the incompleteness of your soul.

This is how I choose for fear to motivate me. To push me to experience everything that the Heart has to offer. Not to allow the deceit of the mind or the illusion of pride to cloak what is truly real, Love. To forgive, to be compassionate, to be considerate, offer kindness, patience, understanding, communication; motivations to open your Heart, to be vulnerable time and time again. To reach the heights of what Love is. The connection of it to your soul. The connection of it to another soul.

That’s how fear motivates me. To help me be everything my Heart was meant to be.

Be Love.

check my math

There’s a rising intention of independence amongst us; there has been for quite some time now. It’s the type of independence that affirms to us that we can do whatever we dream. It’s the type of independence that tells us we can be as strong as we believe. It’s the type of independence that convinces us we don’t need anyone other than ourselves. It’s the type of independence that reminds us we should be telling the world just exactly who we are, without compromise. And, it’s good. It’s empowering and full of optimistic progress. It’s building character and strength and resilience.

But, that rising intention of independence amongst us, it’s also coming between us. It’s building walls and burying weakness and creating hardened souls.

The messages of this type of independence are everywhere; daily internet quotes, articles, books, television. They can be very motivating, very clever, very funny and very witty. But, they are also subconsciously, behind the veil of inspiration, reprogramming the nature of human connection.

The messages tell us that we are whole no matter what else is present (or not present) within who we are; not our gender, sexual orientation, relationship status, education or wealth class, matters toward the truth of our wholeness. And, while I couldn’t agree more, I believe that this misrepresentation of our perceived wholeness is also distancing us.

The intention of independence I speak of is becoming steeped in pride; an unhealthy pride. A pride that almost makes us feel as though we will compromise our wholeness if we step over this manufactured line of entirety. It pushes us into believing that asking for help is an admission of not being able to do whatever it is for ourselves. It coerces us into thinking that letting our guard down makes us vulnerable to attack. And, it tricks us into a mindset that we’re supposed to go at this alone.

We’re shutting each other out for fear of subtracting from our oneness and confusing it with independence. And, while our oneness is ever important in the realization of self, reaching out and connecting with people doesn’t subtract from it, it adds to it. Our oneness strengthens with connection.

We are here to be together. Yes, you deserve to be treated with respect. Yes, you deserve to have as much opportunity available to you as the next person. Yes, you deserve to be Loved just for who you are. But, sometimes, we get so resolute in this thinking that we forget respect is also earned, opportunity needs to be created, and that someone might be Loving us right now for exactly who we are. That’s pride getting in the way of your Heart and what your real oneness is supposed to be. It’s creating a false sense of entitlement, of what are beautiful things, that separate us from each other because of unfounded expectation.

There is no doubt that you are whole and beautiful and perfect as how you are now and who you will evolve in to be, how many times over. But, that evolution and growth, is not just a factor of what you can do on your own. You need the Earth and the water and the Sun. Plus, if we were meant to hug ourselves all the time, we’d have longer arms.

Be Love.

Love is titanic

I’ve never really done anything notable. Nothing that anyone’s ever written about or created any commotion over. Nothing that would probably be considered spectacular or incline someone to start a conversation with saying, “hey, listen to this….”

I just….live. It seems.

In a time of pseudo-truths and filtered personas, a time where the world is consumed by personal unpaid publicists, it’s not hard to feel lost in your own shuffle. Work, bills, parenting, relationships, chores, obligations; not to mention where we find ourselves with self-worth, self-confidence and self-care. There’s a lot to shuffle.

For the most part, we all know the facade. We all know that what we see is subject to the iceberg effect; 10% showing on the surface, 90% consumed by a murky, cold abyss. And yet, we still manage to convince ourselves that we’re the only one lost in that shuffle.

And so you think that you’ve never really done anything notable because, well, you just….live.

I stared at the word ‘notable’. I stared at what seemed to represent, or what people deemed it to represent. And, I didn’t see ‘notable’. What I saw was that word come apart. It came apart to say ‘not able’. It wasn’t what it was meant to be.

To be able. I see it differently. Everyday, we find the strength to be able. We get up each morning and we live. We write our story beneath where the air drowns into the water. The story of the high-powered executive’s battle with self-confidence, the story of the elderly man’s resignation of mortality, the story of the always positive friend who’s actually struggling with depression, the story of the fitness trainer’s issues with body image, the story of the popular high school student that never feels like they fit in, the story of the single mom just wanting to be the best she possibly can be for her children, the story of the successful, accomplished young man’s challenge with self-worth.

None of these, anyone would ever consider to be notable. They are really much more than that. These are the stories of being able, day after day, never giving up. These are the stories no one ever reads. These are the stories of strength, of foundation, of faith. There is Love in all of them. That is the common bond. Whether it’s to seek, give, accept, believe; there is Love in each story.

These are the stories that need attention, support and Love. The quiet stories that impact our lives the most; that displace the most volume beneath the surface. These are the stories we write together.

Be Love.

just when i thought i was out, they pull me back in

They’re with you no matter where you go, no matter what you’re doing, no matter what’s happening around you.

Thoughts.

The power your thoughts command is probably vastly underestimated by most. Or, at least not given the attention of significance that it deserves. It’s hypothesized that a person has anywhere from 60,000 to 80,000 thoughts per day. I would argue (without any scientific data at hand), that the range seems a bit high. Considering there’s exactly 86,400 seconds in a day, it seems lofty that nearly every one of them is occupied with a thought. Perhaps, though, that is the product of our sentience? The constant, ongoing construction of thoughts.

Even if you pared the estimate down to just 20%, that’s still 12,000 to 16,000 thoughts per day. The only thing we do more, is breathe.

And so, is it any wonder how productive or destructive our thoughts can be to us? Split it down the middle; half of your thoughts positive, half of your thoughts negative. So, roughly 6,000 to 8,000 times a day, we are thinking of things that don’t make us feel good. It’s more than eye opening. The probable truth of the matter is that the bad ones are often more prevalent and can easily consume the good ones, usually very unbeknownst to us. It’s challenge enough to quell the negative thoughts of the significant matters we navigate in life like self-worth, past trauma, relationships, jobs, bills; let alone even identify the thoughts we have of general worry, stress, missing a deadline, being late somewhere or not liking how we look in our clothes that day. These are all thoughts that calibrate at a lower vibration and, in turn, deteriorate and damage our well being.

Negativity, intentional or otherwise, is not Love. Our thoughts reside within the self, and when they are not positive (or even neutral), we are not practicing self Love. Further to that, when that negativity is projected outwardly, we are propagating that lower vibration into our environment making it even more difficult to know where we begin and where it ends.

Dr. David Hawkins developed what he termed the Map of Consciousness. As a metaphysical and spiritually left-brained scientist, he identified, pretty plain and simply, that Love calibrates at a vibration of frequency higher than guilt, anxiety, anger, fear, despair, etc. Seems obvious but lends a sort of concrete semblance by way of scientific merit.

And, as complex as it may seem, the blueprint of the Universe is that of simplicity. Not ease, simplicity. In paraphrasing Newton’s third law, “everything has an equal and opposite force”. Meaning, in this context, stopping the negative thoughts translates into practising positive ones. Simplicity.

“Love is awareness, not avoidance” -Waylon Lewis

We don’t mean to, but when we fall into the negativity, we default to avoidance. It’s a normal response to go into a mode of “surviving” rather than “thriving”. Changing the default is, simply, one of practice. It’s a practice of awareness. It’s adopting the concept that yes, negativity exists, but its power over us is a choice. And, it’s acknowledging that there is a force to counteract the negativity; positivity.

This practice is rooted in awareness. It is an ongoing awareness to identify when it’s happening and finding a way to choose an opposing path. Whether to, literally, say, “stop” in your mind, ask yourself what benefit it is to think those thoughts, tell yourself you’re better than the thoughts, finding a positive thought to get in the way; it’s awareness. Simple. But, not easy.

Defaults can be changed. Routines can be changed. Thoughts can be changed. Awareness is the catalyst. Awareness of what you’re bringing into your consciousness and life is the Love that you offer your self. It is the Love that you offer of your self to everyone around you. And, it is a choice.

Be Love.