Monthly archives "October 2018"

happy halloveen

In a few evenings, we will openly welcome a number of little strangers into our homes. Little masked and costumed strangers; vampires and princesses, pint sized Thors and aspiring Hermiones.

Our little visitors come to our doors to receive what there is to be offered, all in good spirit and faith. And, we offer what is to be given to our momentary new friends, all in good spirit and faith. Perhaps there is a scootch bit of judgment; the extra cute ones get a bigger handful of candy whereas the ones who seem a shade too old may get fewer treats. Nonetheless, amidst our good natured critiques, we give to all who come, equally and without prejudice.

We give, yet we don’t to whom. It is our agreed upon understanding to give without knowing to who it is we’re giving to. In fact, it’s the deal. The mask, the costume, is the expectation; I don’t know who you are and so, you receive my generosity.

Our generosity diminishes outside the safe confines of the evening of October 31st. When it seemingly matters more, our giving then comes with caution, with reservation and with hesitation.

We all wear masks, each and every day. Different masks for the different people we encounter and have relationships with. We even wear masks with ourselves. And, we put masks on those we don’t know or those we think we know.

To give of our kindness, our compassion, our understanding and our Love, to the masks, is not part of the deal. It’s the unknown. It’s not safe. We cannot see nor do we choose to be seen. And so, there is a pre-requisite to what it is that we choose to share. When we make that choice, we distance ourselves not only from others but from ourselves. More so, however, we distance ourselves from the true reason of what makes up this physical presence of our spiritual being; to Love.

Closing the distance doesn’t come by way of exuberant acts of emotional outpour. It’s the silent resolve you have within yourself for whoever crosses your path. It’s doing, “small things with great Love”, as Mother Teresa left with us. It’s in keeping your internal peace and compassion resolute that provides the open arms and Love to all the masks that we see each and every day, including your own. There’s no way to understand everyone, but there is a way that everyone can be understood. And that is to know that regardless of the mask that we see, beneath it is light and Love; to give to and to receive from.

To those for which we can see behind the mask? To those for which we know what is underneath; the challenges, the hurt, the beauty and the soul. We seem to hold more expectation. We seem to need more to be able to offer our understanding and Love. We can bring it in great waves, but the closeness of these relationships can also create a great distance. Embrace it all. Peace in your Heart comes from the whole of your Love. It is not to choose what parts to Love of someone and to shield yourself from the others. It is to Love all of it. Everything that is behind the mask. This is true for me; the more I see, the more I want to Love. The more I want to understand and to offer. It is all for exactly what it is, to give of yourself. Of your Heart. That is the greatest realization of the self.

And so, as All Hallow’s Eve will come and pass, think of what you have to offer to everyone that “comes to your door”. To those that you only get a chance to see their mask, or to those who live in the safety that resides behind their mask and to those that choose to take off their mask for you. Think of what place you have for them in your Heart. Of what you give them of your Heart.

Be Love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

the relevance of intimacy

“the most intimate thing we can do is to allow people we love most to see us at our worst. At our lowest. At our weakest. True intimacy happens when nothing is perfect”. Amy Harmon

Intimacy, for many, conjures up thoughts of the physicality between two people. The admittance we grant to another person to be close to us in sensory perception form. To share a “human being” experience.

For some, a more personal intimacy represents the plane in a relationship whereby the closeness of the individualities of each person has created, in a manner of speaking, a conjunctive reflection of both into one; a fostering of openness and connection.

And, for fewer still, a greater depth of intimacy will be ultimately realized in its entirety upon that moment that they fully reveal themselves, as aptly quoted, “….to allow people we love most to see us at our worst”; to share a “being human” experience – the most vulnerable act of openness and connection.

Of the three, this is always the last one to show itself. If it shows itself at all.

It makes sense that it’s the last one. It’s the toughest. It’s the most personal. It’s usually the final piece of our own intimacy puzzle.

When we share a physical experience with someone, it’s a two-person endeavor. There is, of course, intimacy involved, but it’s of a different nature. As counterintuitive as it may seem, this intimacy is not as personal as one may think. Why? Because it’s mutually shared. It’s happening at the same time and both are doing the same thing. No one person is really in the spotlight. And, although I do strongly believe there is a great intimacy and connection shared within the physical nature of a relationship, it seems that more and more have very limited regard for what means to share that with another person. It’s, sorta, just the way things are. Sleep with you now, get to know you know you later. Maybe.

Another level of intimacy reached within a relationship is that of familiarity and of fluency. It taps into that space beyond the physical (if there is a physical relationship; most relationships are not physical) and an introductory level of mental and emotional common ground. There is more here. There is an intertwining of each person from a more pervasive perspective. It’s a reciprocal embrace of another individual; acceptance of who they are on a deeper level. A product of time, respect, desire to connect, foster growth and to, simply, cultivate a relationship. Maybe even Love. It’s when each person has made the choice to place a personal investment in the other, together. It is the basis of meaningful relationship, or if romantically involved, to find that ‘someone’.

There is still a heightened intimacy beyond this. Past shared physical experience, past mental investment, past the building of a relationship. It comes subsequent to the sharing of those intimacies. This intimacy comes as a product of vulnerability, safety, trust and a Love at a deeper level; different from the others. When physical intimacy is shared, it is shared together. When relationship intimacy is shared, it is shared together. When the intimacy of vulnerability and trust, in the form of personal internal emotion is shared, it is often done so by one and received by the other; a given gift. It’s when we let the other see us fully and completely.

This gift is when we are at our most intimate. We are actively giving ourselves from within, to be received but not reciprocated. We attempt to allow another person to experience a fragment of what we are experiencing ourselves with the trust and confidence that there is compassion waiting for us on the other side. That there is understanding and empathy. That, not only will we be Loved, but Loved more.

This intimacy is courageous. It is not the happy-go-lucky parts of a relationship. It is a person saying, “this is all of me. This is everything about me that you cannot see. I trust you”. When this intimacy touches a person, it is one of the most realest experiences of true connection. It is a person wanting to release everything about them; everything that they carry inside. I do mean that this offering is truly a gift. Think of what you hold most closely inside whether it be Love or the toughest personal challenge. Each of which we only share when our Heart has made the choice.

Give your Heart to this intimacy both as the one offering it and as the one receiving it. Understand it for what it is. Be grateful for what it is. And, Love more because of it.

Be Love.

help

It can often be difficult to ask for. Or accept. For some, even a last resort. The thought of vulnerability can be incredibly daunting. It exposes us. It puts our imperfection on display.

Surrendering ourselves to seeking help can illicit any number of emotions and ideas within us; failure, defeat, diminished self-worth, weakness and, of course, helplessness. Feelings of burden consume us or even a manufactured obligation to always be at one’s best when we believe others are depending upon us.

Asking for help means we “couldn’t do it” and for some, there is a belief that they should always be able to do it.

If I have learned anything, if I have experienced anything in my life, it’s that I cannot do everything on my own. We were not meant to do everything on our own. We Love so that we can help. We help so that we can Love. And, our beauty is because we are not perfect.

I have sought help in my ‘obligation’ to offer what words I might have to give. I’ve opened with my own, but close with another’s who can say better what I could not. And, for that, I am grateful that there is help. Because help is help. Like Love, there is no pride in help. Whether it’s my own message or one that I pass along, it’s about what it moves inside of you. Not how it gets there.

Be Love.

“I find beauty in things others never see. I find hope there, too. Life is what you make of it. Life is taking not so beautiful things and making them beautiful. It is finding hope even when there is none. This is not an easy thing to do but I find that Love is the answer to most things, if not all things. Why not Love more? If you do not give your Love away, then it means nothing. In essence, it is a wasted love. No one will ever feel it. Love is meant to be felt. To be given away freely, regardless of what you get back in return. We all want our lives to have meaning. So we can say we were here and we Loved with everything we had. My life is not perfect but it’s mine and I never wanted perfect. I want real. I want to feel. And, I have Loved, really Loved. A lot. And, above all I have lived, really lived. And, I still Love”.

 -NR Hart

 

 

 

 

hey, thanks for giving

Gratitude. The new black of the enlighten path. Journals, meditation apps, Instagram quotes. It’s everywhere. And, rightfully so. Gratitude can be very powerful if intentionally practised, as goes the karma with simple appreciation for what you have; for your life.

The practice of gratitude is exercising vibrational shift. It’s not super science to understand that being thankful is putting yourself in a better frame of mind than if you were to be focusing on that which you don’t have. Practising gratitude elicits a feeling of abundance. That feeling of abundance raises your vibration which, in turn, puts you in a better place mentally, emotionally and spiritually. It doesn’t have to be an elaborate endeavour. Even simply think of your basic functioning health relative to what many others have to contend with. That alone is enough to appreciate how precious life is.

For most of us (I’m assuming), we have more than we don’t have. Not uncommon, it’s easy to focus on what we lack; even when what we do have vastly outweighs what we don’t. Let’s chalk it up to the human condition. Does that make it excusatory? No. But, you don’t have to beat yourself up about it, either. Awareness, right?

Gratitude elevates your vibration; it shifts your focus. If you’re a subscriber to the law of attraction, when you give thanks for what you have, you put yourself in a position to be able to give more thanks for more things. Once you get that snowball rolling down the hill, you will move with the power. It will require less of a push and more ‘keeping up’ with the abundance.

But! As much as all of that is indeed ‘practising’ gratitude, I’d like to challenge the notion (in a good way).

Establishing an internal emotional foundation of gratitude is definitely the starting point. That’s where the journals, the meditation apps, the Instagram quotes and introspective thought all come into play; they assist in the focus. That is ‘contemplating’ gratitude. It’s an awareness to it. It’s acknowledging and receiving the energy of it. It’s building that framework so as to be able to expand upon it in a greater capacity.

But, ‘practising’ gratitude?

Practising gratitude is that next step from contemplating gratitude. It’s doing something with the contemplation. We’ve all read or heard stories of those with even the most meager of resources still finding a way to give to the less fortunate. A simplistic illustration of the bounds that are possible.

But, practising gratitude isn’t really all that metric. It can be, but it’s just giving something tangible. Practising gratitude is really just being the best person you possibly can. When you’ve acknowledged all that you have to be thankful for, how do you translate that into your everyday actions? How do you use the energy of that higher vibration? Are you kind? Do you offer a smile or hug whenever you can? Do you respect the earth? Do you lift others up? Do you accept the gratitude and Love of others? Or, do you complain? Do you make yourself a victim? Do you view things through a negative lens? Do you focus on what you need to simply further your own agenda? Do you turn away the gratitude and Love of others? How are you really practising gratitude?

It’s possible to contemplate gratitude at great length, on a daily basis, but not actually live it. Not actually practise it. And hey, I get it. It’s not so easy to wake up one day and start doing all these positive things without any hiccups. But then, how else do you do it? How else do you start doing something other than start doing it? Your mind, your emotions, your awareness, all have to begin somewhere. It’s a conscious choice to hold yourself accountable to share how beautiful you are. And, it starts with the recognition and appreciation of the beauty in your life. It’s the input of that energy that fuels the output of our actions.

Practising gratitude is how you live out what you have to be grateful for in your life. Being in the space of gratitude is what enables us to share the space of gratitude. And, sharing the space of gratitude, whether reciprocated or not, builds that energy and vibration. It builds your spirit, it builds your Love.

“for it is in giving that we receive.”

                                    Francis of Assisi

Be Love.