Monthly archives "June 2018"

what you plant will grow

We all just want one thing. It’s Love. Sometimes, the most obvious can be the most insightful.

The inference I’ve made is one I know with certainty. To which one may ask, what authority is it that I possess to make such a claim with such certainty. A fair question. My answer; my life. My authority is my life.

I think that we think we want a lot of things for ourselves in this lifetime. We strive for those things. We set goals. We make plans. We aim to achieve the things we want. And, achieve, we do. We feel accomplished, we feel proud, we feel we’ve done something important; another milestone reached. All of which I support. I encourage goals and endeavours. I applaud accomplishments and achievements. This is certainly not a diatribe to shit on any of it.

By all means, accumulate all that you feel will bring fulfilment to your life. Enjoyment, satisfaction, success; these are real emotions that we’ve been empowered with to experience life in many diverse ways. None of it is ‘bad’, as much as how none of it is really ‘good’. This is not a condemnation of worldly ventures.

Nor is it a renouncement of the emotions that make us feel seen and heard; acceptance, respect, consideration, thoughtfulness, recognition, appreciation; the list can continue on to the stars. This is not a denunciation that we shouldn’t seek the things that make us feel human. After all, we are just that; human. Yes, just that, but not only that.

When I speak about the idea of how we all just want Love, I speak from a place of experience. The experience of my life; the goals, the accomplishments, the career, material items, acceptance, respect, accolades, all of it. Yet, here I am still. Speaking of what’s bigger than any of it. Love.

I write this because of how much Love moves me; because of how much it’s moved me. There is no replacement for Love. There is nothing more meaningful than to give Love and to receive Love. To argue otherwise, in this direction, would fall on deaf ears. We seemingly place almost everything ahead of this goal; of making Love a goal. We think it just happens and it’s the rest of life that needs our time, effort and energy. When we expend our resources, though, attaining what we view as fulfilment, why is it still that there is a pull toward something more? Or, an emptiness that we thought we’d filled? Love is what needs our time, effort and energy. All of it. From it all else follows.

We don’t perceive Love as an actionable goal. But, it is. Self Love, devoting your Love to another, being able to receive Love; these are all endeavours that come to be by dedicating ourselves to that goal. Our direction is opposite; we need this first, or to attain that first. Or, once we get our insecurity harboured or our fear quelled, then we’ll open up. We seek security and safety ahead of true, heartfelt Love. And often, amidst all of how we think we are establishing a place to plant and grow Love, we wonder why we can’t find Love. It’s because we’re looking for everything except It.

We all do really want one thing; it’s not a question. It can’t be because you’re not here for any other reason. I am confident that if you haven’t reached this place in your experience yet, you will. You will take stock of what you have and if real Love isn’t there, you will feel that absence. It is that absence that will make all else obsolete in your life. It really is beautiful, actually, to awaken to this. You are here for one reason; Love. Tto give, to receive, to feel. To

Be Love.

ok, ok….I hear you?

My dad has taught me a bunch of things; how to change the brakes on my truck, the way to replace a toilet, understanding the inner workings of caring for a home and, basically, that I can figure out most anything that I could pay someone to do for me (and if I needed some obscure tool to do whatever it was, it was probably in the garage).

My father grew up in a circumstance that required resourcefulness above anything else. There wasn’t much to go around other than to be hard working and make due the best way possible. The experience and challenges he lived through in his formative years, shaped the way he would bring of himself to his family; to provide for us as best as he could regardless of the work it took of him so that we wouldn’t experience, first hand, what he did. As he worked and worked and worked to give us the things he went without growing up, he also focused on empowering my brother and I with a mentality that helped us believe we were smart enough and capable enough to learn how to do anything and to not be dependent upon others. To him, like many, knowledge is power. But, even further to that, he knew that being confident in yourself to find the knowledge and use that knowledge, was even greater power.

As a fully functioning and contributing adult (although, I’m sure still a smart mouth eighteen year old in his eyes), there’s not really much teaching going on anymore. Sure, he’s there to help in a moment’s notice or answer a question about hot water tanks or thermostats, but I figure he recognizes my brother and I are running our own lives and we’re doing ok. Not to mention, he’s been there for us more times than anyone could ever expect; even when I was a smart mouth eighteen year old. He’s done his part.

And yet, much to my surprise and I’m sure without him even knowing, he recently taught me one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in quite some time; when true emotion is felt, people communicate the best way they know possible and it is real and sincere.

A little while ago, my dad and I had a moment. Not a warm, feely moment, but the other kind. As said moment was unfolding, my awareness could see what was about to happen and I responded in a manner I’d never done before when going toe-to-toe with him. I felt positive and, more importantly, at peace with how I handled things. And, save the details, for all intents and purposes, I was probably due an apology. But, if history was any sort of predictor of the future, I knew there wasn’t one coming.

Not too long thereafter, at a family event, as I was saying goodbye to both he and my mom, he said something to me as I hugged him. It took me about a day to finally realize and say, “oh shit! That was his apology”, but I said, “Oh shit! That was his apology”.

What he said doesn’t matter and, in truth, it wasn’t anything that will forever go down in poetic lore. I didn’t realize at the time it was happening, but what he said was all he had the capacity to use as communication to convey what he felt. It was all he had the ability or the confidence or the courage, or whatever, to say to me to offer as reconciliation to what had happened the week prior. The thing is, because I know my father, because I know how he grew up, because I know where he came from, because I know how he works, I realized that it wasn’t for me to expect more from him. It was my responsibility to understand what he was trying to say. It was my responsibility to translate his communication because he, himself, could not translate it. He could not translate it from what it felt like in his Heart to what it should sound like with his voice. But, it was real and it was sincere.

And so, I am empowered with a new perspective toward receiving communication. I am empowered with not just hearing or not hearing the words I might expect to hear from someone, but to understand and interpret and feel what is being put out there. We all don’t communicate the same. We all don’t have the same experiences. We all don’t have the same ability to convey what’s really in our Heart to translate in a way that reflects that. I’ve learned that there’s more to just hearing and listening, there’s feeling. We feel what we feel, we say what we feel and we feel what we say. But, how often do we feel what someone else is saying or even not saying? And, I don’t mean us feeling what it is, but feeling it as though we were them. That is what feeling someone else’s Heart is. That is truly opening your own Heart to theirs. That is connection. That is compassion.

Thanks, Dad. You’ve done more than I, myself, may ever have the words to express.

Be Love.

space, the final frontier

Sorry. This isn’t about Star Trek.

There’s only so much you can effectively manage at any one point in time. And, whatever you believe the amount to be that you can manage effectively, it’s actually much less.

The plain and simple of it is that we’ve got too much stuff going on in our lives. On every level. We need to make space.

We do too much. We want too much. We own too much. We think too much. We worry too much. We everything too much. Making space focuses on lightening your life; lightening that which takes you away from you.

Space allows for two things to happen; old, stagnant energy to vacate and new, fresh energy to enter. Making space doesn’t mean you get rid of everything that is old or doesn’t serve you how it used to or whatever it may be. Making space is about challenging what you really need in your life from what seems like the most inconsequential to the stuff you don’t know where to begin to deal with.

There will certainly be things you will identify that you can do without, materially speaking. But I caution, don’t be tricked by things that seem like they don’t take up much room or get in the way. If it doesn’t serve you, be rid of it. Perhaps there is opportunity for someone else to make use of what you can’t? Above all, it releases dormant energy that has taken up residence in your environment. The importance being, again, move things out to open it up to something new. Or, better still, leave it free. Leave it to be an open abode that does not need to filled with anything. What feels better? A closet or a garage that’s bursting at the seams or one that’s open and easy to navigate?

What about the seemingly silly stuff we see on a daily basis? How inundated is your inbox? Have you given out your email address to every store in the mall to get their “deal of the week” notice to buy more shit you really don’t need? Unsubsribe. How many accounts do you follow on Instagram? If it doesn’t make you laugh, provide insight or keep in touch with someone you really want to keep in touch with, unfollow. Same with Facebook. Hey, there’s a lot of great social media out there, but really choose what enriches your life. Otherwise, it’s clutter. Electronic clutter.

What about your schedule. Are you effective and efficient in your daily administrative tasks of life? Do you say, “yes” to everything? Do you go here and there to please everyone but yourself? Are the things you’re doing really serving you or just autopilot stuff? Sometimes, the biggest help one can give themselves is to simply sit down and actually evaluate how things are being done. There’s always a better way.

And finally, although the list could literally be endless, I leave with this; make space within yourself. Make space within your Heart and mind of that which you’ve been carrying that is too heavy to carry any further. We all have our challenges and our burdens, but that doesn’t mean they are just to be our own. Share your story and your pain with someone that truly cares about you. Share it with someone that wants to help clear it from your life. Or, perhaps seek out a counselor or someone in a professional field. Freeing yourself from the heaviness that you carry in your Heart and mind, will be the biggest creator of space in your life. This is a form of lightness that will release you from the prison its created and transform itself into joy and peace with the person you truly are. You were meant to be light. Shine.

Be Love.

this is one superpower i don’t want

Invulnerability.

No. No thanks. Not for me.

So, you think you’re doing pretty good; making forward progress. And, you are. You’re doing great. You ARE making progress; maybe even feeling a bit proud of yourself.  But then….the Universe says, “not so fast, guy”, stomach punch, take a knee.

My week past had a resounding theme to it, vulnerability. It’d been a long time since I’d had a week where a particular message just gets pounded into you everywhere you turn. At first, you think you notice something but aren’t really exactly sure. It happens again and gets a bit more of your attention. Still not sure, though. Then, the Universe starts getting a teensy bit impatient with your astute ability at being obtuse and kicks you in the shin. “Third time’s a charm”, right? Now you’ve noticed; the tidal wave hits. It was vulnerability.

I got the picture that I hadn’t delved into vulnerability as intimately as I thought I had. Sure, I’d read about it, I’d YouTubed it, even had some conversations about it. But, the more I thought about it, the more I think I realized I never really got any deeper into it. The message was that it was time that I did.

I let my awareness do the work simply by asking for it to come to me. I hadn’t been aware of not being aware of it until now; if that makes sense? And, I’ll admit, I gave myself a decent sized headshake when I finally received some insight I hadn’t known before. The “of course, I should of known that” headshake (even though I know it’s ok that I didn’t know it at the time). In truth, I’d thought I was pretty good at being vulnerable. I’m not shy to tell people I believe in Love; I could care less about having watery eyes watching The Little Prince; and I don’t hold back sharing my feelings. But, that’s just it; I’m not scared of any of those things. I’m not scared of those parts. And, that’s why I thought I was getting pretty good at it. You know what that really is, though? That’s getting comfortable. The Universe doesn’t mind if you get comfortable for a little while, but it doesn’t want you staying there for too long. There’s bigger things to be done.

And so, I thought….I thought about what vulnerability is to me, and….vulnerability is the capacity to be open and honest with what’s in your Heart without the fear of reaction, response, reprisal or consequence. The stuff I just spoke about; those were things that I may have once been vulnerable toward, but I wasn’t anymore. There was nothing I was scared of in those situations. I grew into those things. This past week, the Universe was telling me I need to keep growing.

Being truly vulnerable is not easy. It is really tough, actually. It’s not only facing your fear of what may (or may not) come back at you as a result of your openness, but it’s exposing your personal self. When you’re really at the core of who are, there’s a tonne of stuff there. There’s Love and happiness and pain and anguish, joy and hope and depression and despair. And, you’re deciding to share it not knowing what awaits. How could you not be scared? It’s all the stuff that’s down in there that the mind tells us we should be scared of because of what we can potentially lose by letting it out. But, the only thing we really lose when we let it out is the prison it’s trapped in. We free our Heart.

That’s not even to mention how badly you could just screw it up, too. You may not say something the way you intended. Or, do something the way you had planned it out in your head. Or, you just simply forget to say or do something because you’re in the middle of a hurricane of emotion and fear. But, it’s all ok. Vulnerability is accepting that you will be in this position. You know who gets to worry about the stuff that it seems you didn’t do “right”? The Universe. The Universe makes it right for you because that’s how it supports you when you offer your true, sincere self. You do your part, It does its. Nothing ever worth it was easy.

So, do I want to be invulnerable? No. I want to feel all of it. I want to grow from the pain and get bigger with the Love. You can’t have one side of it without the other. It will get you where you need to be. It will get you to a place where the Love in your Heart blankets everything else. It won’t stop the bad stuff, the tough times or the hardships; but, it covers it, brings it close and says, “I’ll take care of this. You’ll be ok”.

“When you’re vulnerable and freaked out, it’s so easy to end something. To actually lean in in those moments and do the work is going to be scary, it’s going to be challenging. But all you have to do is start. And you should expect that it’s challenging and you should love that it’s challenging, because then you’ll appreciate it” – Mark Groves

 

Be Love.