Monthly archives "June 2015"

there’s one born every minute

heart-shaped-lollipop

I’m three days early. I know.

 

So, this evening, as I left work, I was abruptly and unexpectedly stopped on the street .

“Do you work around here? Do you work in one of those buildings?” the gentleman asked as he pointed to the intersection of Portage and Main.

“Yes”, I said. “That one”.

“Oh, well I thought you might. Do you think you could help me?”

His mannerisms were genuine, he was dressed like any other person you’d see and he looked me in my eyes as he spoke. Truth be told, regardless of any of that, I said, “I’ll try”.

He told me his story of how he wasn’t from Winnipeg, his keys locked in the truck and that he was trying to get his wife to Concordia Hospital. He needed to hail a wheelchair accessible taxicab to get them both there. And so, the help he was asking me for was to “loan” him the money for the cab.

I immediately thought about how I met this fellow; I thought about how I had meant to leave work earlier but something unplanned came up and required me to stay there; I thought about how he’d apologized for interrupting me listening to my music; I thought about how there could have been any number of eight second deviations in my day that would have resulted in me not meeting him; and, I thought about how I had the money in my wallet.

I didn’t ask him where his truck was or if I could meet his wife. I didn’t ask him why he didn’t have the money or why he couldn’t go to a bank machine. I just started to pull out my wallet. There was a reason this man needed to ask me for money. Maybe it was because he really needed help or maybe it was because I looked like an easy target? Or, maybe when he asked for my card and took down my particulars, he was really, actually going to repay the “loan”?

Fully cognizant that I may be flushing the money down the proverbial toilet, I put the cash in his hand. I put it in his hand and accepted his thanks and the kind words he offered.

As I left him and proceeded in the original direction I was headed, I didn’t look back. I didn’t need to. It didn’t matter. Did I feel like I was just taken? Absolutely. But, as I had listened to his story and how there were any number of holes I could have poked in it, I’d already decided I was going to commit to this no matter how spotty it sounded. If he needed to compromise his moral integrity to get my money, then he needed it more than I did. I could choose to take this for what it was on the surface; me doing something that was probably a dumb move, or I could approach at it as amazing learning experience I chose to have.

As I recount what happened this evening, even to this moment, I can’t help but think about how positively impactful it was. I really mean that. I know I sound crazy, and I still feel kinda cheated, but what an amazing experience.

Amazing because, basically, the Universe just gave me more opportunities, in one brief moment, to open my Heart and trust it, than I can probably even realize.

It gave me the opportunity to be completely defenceless to this man that potentially just ripped me off because, for whatever real reason to him, he needed to do it.

It gave me the opportunity, regardless of what the money was used for, to help someone that thought they needed help.

It gave me the opportunity to think about how I really just actually gave that money to myself; and, to you; and, to everyone else because we’re all connected. We’re all from the same place and we’re all eventually going back to the same place.

It gave me the opportunity to forgive this man for possibly taking advantage of my generosity.

It gave me the opportunity to show gratitude toward this man for possibly taking advantage of my generosity.

It gave me the opportunity to create a wealth of introspection and thought.

It gave me the opportunity for vulnerability and to put my “intelligence” on the line by sharing this story.

It gave me the opportunity to forgive myself. To let myself off the hook for knowing I could most plausibly be making a bad decision, for being trusting or open Hearted or just a plain idiot because of the fact that I knew full well what I was doing but did it anyway. The only person that could be hurt by what I did, was me. And, only if I chose it to be that way.

And finally, most importantly, the Universe gave me the opportunity to let go. To let go of this man’s motives; to let go of if I was cheated or not; to let go of feeling stupid and, ultimately, to let go of the guilt.

When you let go of guilt, your grasp on Love gets tighter.

I’m not a rich person by any stretch. But, will my “loan” really impact me? No. I’m not shaving any days off to retirement had I kept it in my wallet. But, I think about what it cost me to, for maybe only a brief moment, “let go” of being stuck of where most of us are stuck, most of the time. Don’t get me wrong, I still feel a bit of a sting; it’s only a few hours old. But, that’s really just my ego and my pride trying to voice their displeasure because my true self just separated a little bit more from them. There’s this greater outspoken voice, although it’s more gentle in its tone, that I’m experiencing, telling me that I just stepped a tiny bit closer to transcending what my brain wants me to believe and entering where my Heart wants me to be.

And, that’s what it’s really all about.

Be Love.

theheartmovementtiny

Don’t tell my dad I gave money to a stranger.

 

this is your life and it’s ending one minute at a time.

lost everything

There’s a part in the movie, Fight Club, whereby the fearless, alter ego antagonist of the narrator, orders him to, “just let go”. As our dissociative identity disorder suffering protagonist finally surrenders to the imploring instructions to “let go!”, the Lincoln Town Car they’ve decided to no longer pilot goes tumbling off the side of the highway into a ravine.

Emerging from the wreckage, mostly unscathed and somewhat coming to each other’s aid, the manipulative imaginary friend can be heard exclaiming, “we just had a near life experience!”

We just had….a near life experience.

The whole movie persecutes modern day ideals and looks to poke as many holes it can in the things society largely cares about. And, while no one is suggesting you set an office building on fire, I guess it might make a person wonder if they’ve ever had a “near life experience”? Or, what that even means, for that matter.

I’m sitting here, thinking about that question, and I want to answer with a, “yes”. I mean, I’ve had to of, right? I’m alive; I’m living; I’m doing things all the time. I’m having “life experiences”. Or, am I?

We’re always grasping at the steering wheel. We’re always trying to know where we’re going. Do we ever really just “let go”? It’s not really our fault that we don’t. It’s all we know. We’ve been told, for as long as we can remember that we need to be control. How else will we get where we’re supposed to be getting? How else will we reach our potential? Funny thing, though; where it is, exactly, that we’re supposed to be getting? And, does our “potential” really have a limit to be reached?

That Lincoln Town Car is Love. The antagonist; that’s the Universe. The highway, or the ravine or the road block or whatever, is your life. And, you? Well, you’re you.

The Universe just wants you to let go. It’s got you; it’s not going to let anything happen to you that shouldn’t. It can’t necessarily prove it (and, you want proof because you’re a human), but that’s why you have Love. To trust that when you surrender to the Universe and let Love carry you through life, you’re gonna be okay.

And, even when you do trudge through something that really beats you up, it’s still because you need to trudge through it. You need to get beaten up. All those which we really experience are checkpoints in our evolution. They’re the signs, that when we’re open, receptive and paying attention, tell us that we’re doing what we need to be doing. We’re having “near life experiences”.

No one says you have to like or enjoy life all the time. The Universe doesn’t say that, Love doesn’t say that and we don’t say that. But, let your life go. Do your part and allow a greater being to take you the rest of the way. There’s an ability to be free in every way that you are not right now. It’s to get in the car, put it into drive, step on the gas and let go of the wheel.

Be Love.

theheartmovementtiny

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

can i get YOUr attention, please?

attention

So, there you are. Standing at the podium. The microphone is on. You’re nervous; but, with good reason. It’s a bit of a big deal. You’re definitely not certain you can do this. But, you’re gonna try. You have to. It really is the next step you need to take.

You’re about to give your acceptance speech.

Your audience? One person. One. Just you. That’s right, you. There’s only one soul that cares to hear what you have to say on the matter. And, you couldn’t be more interested in you. You’ve been waiting a long time for you to come around. You’ve always known it was in you, but were just trying to be patient with you. You really have a lot to benefit from hearing this.

Do you know what you would say?

Would you go through the list of barriers that have prevented you from realizing who you truly are? Your appearance, the “bad” decisions you’ve made through life, not being honest with yourself and others around you, building walls to keep everything out, the guilt? Or, maybe you’d simply say, “I accept you and Love you for who are, who you were and who you’re going to be”?

Your acceptance speech can be as long or as short as you want it to be. In fact, you don’t even have to say anything at all. All you need to do is bring yourself into your Heart. Fully. Completely. And, let go.

There is one relationship in your life that will be the pillar to every other relationship you will experience. That is the relationship you have with yourself. It’s a relationship that, to fully realize who you are, is to fully accept everything that you come with. Your inadequacies, your insecurities and your inabilities as much as your strengths, successes and skills.

Acceptance of exactly who you are is not to surrender or give up, it’s to do exactly the opposite. It’s to realize the power you are able to possess. It’s to remove the clouds that loom overhead when you don’t accept who you are. You are who you are because you need to be.

Clouds or not, Love is always shining. Love is always waiting for you to come around, doing what it needs to in the background. Allowing it to break through the clouds only shines more light on who you really are, giving you clarity, illuminating the way. And, isn’t that what life is really about; offering the authentic you to yourself and the rest of the world?

No one is saying you have to master this the first time. But, just try it. Close your eyes, breathe, feel your Heart, feel your being, forget everything else accept the soul that is right there and say, I Love You.

Then, do it again.

Be Love.

theheartmovementtiny

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

mmmm, pureed green things.

love green

You ever notice the more you “let go”, the tighter your grip really gets? “Letting go” – it’s almost the new ‘black’ of self-awareness. You know, going with the flow, living a healthful life, having an attitude of forgiveness and being in alignment with your true self. But, I don’t know, are we really “letting go”? Like, getting upset with yourself for skipping yoga class, or feeling the guilt of bacon and eggs instead of green breakfast smoothie , or getting mad at yourself because you got mad at someone else; does any of that sound like “letting go”?

It seems as though “letting go” has almost become an anchor to setting our ship out to sea. It’s become another idea that we’re attached to. Amidst the to-do’s and checklists we’ve created for ourselves in this physical world, we now have one in our spiritual realm that needs following, too – “letting go”. And, when we don’t, we readily put the “self” in self-deprecate.

“Letting go”’ doesn’t have anything to do with sun salutations, kale or forgiveness (well, maybe a bit about forgiveness); it’s about trust. Trust that, if you’re listening closely enough to your Heart, the decisions that are happening for you in YOUR life, are the right ones. Come hell or high water, that which befalls you, needs to. Good stuff, too!

Think about a tree. Ever see a tree freak out when it loses its leaves? Nope. It knows that bigger and brighter green leaves are coming back. How about when it’s really stormy and windy? That tree just seems to sway and lean in any and all directions without complaint. And, when the sun is simply shining brightly, it’s almost as though the tree’s branches reach for the sky; growing bigger, taller.

The tree trusts that the Universe knows what’s best for it. It may seem like it’s not putting any effort into its existence, but it is. It’s really trying, actually. Only, it just tries to be a tree, nothing else.

We try, too. Seemingly, e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g. We try to have a firm grasp on, nearly, every little aspect of our lives. I’ve even seen the practice of meditative enlightenment become an exercise in control; my practice, actually. “It doesn’t feel like I’m getting anything out of this….am I doing it right?….I’m bad at this”, are all sentences I’ve said to myself more than once.

“Letting go” isn’t to stifle who you really are at any particular moment or to deny your emotions or to live in guilt. It’s to trust. It’s to experience. It’s to learn. You can still be spiritually evolving and tell someone to go suck a rock. Just maybe, the more you evolve, the less you’ll say, “go suck a rock”. “Letting go” is knowing that if you’re in a place in your Heart, you’re doing the right thing. Even, when you’re not doing the right thing. There’s no expiration date on your spiritual path.

When you “let go” with your Heart, the story of your life becomes less of a burden for you to write. It’s asking Love to be the author of your biography – you’re both contributing to the story, you’re just trusting Love to get it all out for you the way it needs to be.

And, like the tree just trying to be a tree, you don’t need to be anything you’re not. You really are only one thing, so just….

Be Love.

theheartmovementtiny