Monthly archives "April 2015"

wait for it….

heart stethoscope

If I wanted patients, I’d open a clinic.

Unfortunately, very few of us own a clinic. And, sadly, it seems as though even fewer of us employ patience.

There are a lot of ways to look at Love. Love can be happiness, it can be compassion, it can be support and it can as simple as a hug. It can also be, and is, patience.

But, patience can be a scarce in supply.

Think about when you’re not in a space of Love. Chances are, you’re probably not practicing patience, either. Whether that’s toward someone else, a situation or, especially, ourselves, a lack of Love is a lack of patience. The two, often, walk hand in hand.

So, how do you practice patience?

Well, by practicing patience.

Another word for patience is ‘time’. To be patient, you need time. It needs to pass; it needs to elapse. And, the truth is, as much as it seems like we don’t have enough, we all have time.

If you’ve been around for even only a handful of years, you’ve probably experienced 98% of all things “life” that require patience. You’ve gotten angry, you’ve been insulted, had your heart broken, someone’s eaten your sandwich, you’ve lost a loved one and your kids are nuts. Whatever it is, there’s opportunity for patience. Compare of all those instances and however many more you can think of; what’s a pretty good common denominator to them all? They’ve all seemed less shitty after some time has passed; after you’ve had a chance to simmer down, gain some clarity or just let things take their course. It’s a function of patience. Even when you probably could’ve reacted in a more positive way, well, here’s the chance to offer some patience to yourself and say, “I can do better next time”.

And, so, how do you practice patience? BY PRACTICING PATIENCE.

There’s no magic formula, there’s no DVD, there’s no podcast. It’s about awareness. It’s about recognizing where you can practice patience (everywhere!) and where you missed that chance (everywhere!).

The convenient part about practicing patience is that your opportunity to do so lay within its very instance. The moment you recognize that you’re not in a space of Love, stop. Stop and breathe. Stop and breathe and ask yourself how you could be more patient right at this very moment. Do you really need to yell about what you’re yelling about? Does it really matter that someone said whatever about whatever and they’re an asshole? Do you really need to be stressed and worried about whatever it is you’re stressed and worried about?

When you can’t find the answer to any of those questions, look down at the palms of hands, feel the air in your lungs and listen the sound of your Heart. You’re here. You’ve been through all of this before, and maybe it wasn’t great but it wasn’t the end of days, either. You’re here and you’re okay. You’ll always be okay. Be patient.

Be Love.







the number one reason to be Love


Contrary to reasonable assumption, I don’t spend a whole tonne of time on the internet.

Every now and again, however, when I’m putski-ing around, I happen to come across a particular something that I can’t help but notice and get a bit drawn in by. It’s not necessarily anything I take exception to, but it’s certainly something that I can’t help but form an opinion on.  This ‘particular something’ I’m referring to are lists. I’m serious; lists.

These lists I’m so enamored by are those published by regarded thought leaders on reputable websites, with poignant titles such as, ‘9 things highly successful people say’, or ‘are you going to be rich? Answer these questions’, or ‘over 40? Major interview mistakes you could be making’ .

The reason these lists are making the Sunday night cut is not because they’re about Love, but exactly because they’re NOT. And, to me, if you want success, you have to have the aforementioned ‘L’ word involved. Success, not from just a spiritual and altruistic vantage point, but from all points; financially, professionally, personally, you name it.

If you lead with Love, the rest will follow.

When I read these lists and advice columns, I can somewhat feel that they’re trying to capture some element of a greater sense of being; some direction to tap into the greater ‘you’. It’s not just all about the big paycheque and the corner office. At the same time, they’re still pretty distant from what I would consider constructive to the evolution of who I’m really meant to be. Case in point:

“I should just be quiet”, and

“I’ll show you”.

Two exact quotes from a list, the former guiding that, “truly confident people don’t feel the need to talk”, whereas the latter speaks to motivation through proving someone wrong. Is there anything off point with any of that advice? Probably not. But, I guess it matters what you’re going for. What I’m getting at, is that none of these columns I’ve come across, most reaching a scarily large audience whether it be, LinkedIn or, ever speak to letting your Heart be the boss.

So, why don’t any of those lists tell you about Love? Very simply, because we don’t think there’s any room for Love in success. We don’t think you can take Love to work with you. It’s really just as simple as that. 9 times out of 10, the keys to success are working harder than the next guy, taking no prisoners and being a little bit ruthless.  There’s never anything about letting someone else go first, or compassion, or calling a meeting just to see if everyone is doing okay and if they could use any help. If life is about getting out what you put in, then I just can’t see why you wouldn’t want to put your Heart into whatever it is that you’re doing, work or otherwise.

Maybe one day, theheartmovement will put together its own list. In the interim, I’m just going to hijack the aforementioned two points with our own Loving spin.

I should just be quiet and let my Heart do the talking”, and

“I’ll show you Love”.

Be Love



PS the number one reason to be Love, is just that. Love. 🙂

Aguilera’s back! (apparently) #eyeroll


Which team would you pick?

It’s not a trick question.

At the risk of sounding tyrannical, you’re either one of two types of people. Either, you’re thinking about how to be Love, or you’re not thinking about how to be Love. But, all is not lost! The reality is that sometimes you’re one and sometimes you’re the other. There’s hope!

Whether you’ve got Love on the brains or not, we’re always searching for a voice. Every emotion, every thought, every response; we’re translating into a voice. Our voice. Of, who we think we should be, who we want to be and who we think others want us to be. Why we get ‘stuck’ or ‘confused’ is because we think it’s our voice we’re trying to find – the one that’s individual to us, that makes us different from the next person. And hey, are we all different? Of course. I like peanut butter and jam with my Greek yogurt and someone else likes ‘Keeping Up with the Kardashians’. Different. It’s what makes us beautiful.

But, the voice, the true voice we’re all trying to find (some more than others); it’s not different. We’ve all got that same voice inside of us. The reason you, actually, don’t have to pick which team you want to be on, is because there’s only one (guess it was a trick question). And, the captain chose you long before you even knew the team was there.

Whether you feel like you want to hug someone, hurt someone, laugh, cry, smile, frown; it’s the same voice. It’s all reminder. Everything we experience is a reminder of Love – and which direction we’re moving in.

The choice we can make is the one in which we decide what direction to go with. It’s the choice we make to not only hug a friend hello, but hug that friend goodbye. And, maybe see how many other folks we can hug that day. Or, maybe it’s to just show compassion wherever we can? Conversely, we also can make the choice to build resentment inside and think about how we’ve been hurt and turned against. How Love isn’t there for us. How Love has abandoned us when we needed it most. But, I promise, Love never abandons us. It’s in those circumstances where we abandon it.

Love’s voice is always inside of us. In the moment of that hug, Love is talking to us. It’s telling us we need more of this. It’s telling us we need to give more of this. When things are in the shit, Love is reminding us that it’s there for us. It’s trying to get our attention so that we can lean on it. So, that we can get back in the direction of it.

Think of it this way; when you’re moving in the direction of Love, nothing “bad” can befall you. When you experience that which is perceived as “bad”, is because you’re out of sync with Love. And, if you choose, Love will be there to kick you in the pants to get you back on track.

None of what happens for us in our lives is Love’s fault. It will always be there to celebrate with us and pick up the pieces for us. We get to choose all of it. We get to choose when, how and if we want to….

Be Love.



marriage isn’t everything, Love is

by Jillian Benfield

A year ago, my husband and I went to the most beautiful wedding we will probably ever attend. If there were a show called “My Celebrity Style Wedding,” this wedding would have been on it. It was at a multi-million dollar beachfront home, with multiple bands, dozens of food stations and even synchronized swimmers in the backyard pool. As stunning as it all was, nothing stood out to me more than something the rabbi said during the ceremony. He said, “Marriage is not the most important thing, it is the only important thing.” It stuck with me.

When you have a child with Down syndrome, you get inducted into a club. Other parents reach out to you, they calm you, they strengthen you, they get you. A week after we brought our son home from the NICU, another club member sent my husband and me an e-mail. She found out her son had Down syndrome right after he was born. She wrote about all of the fears she had and how her son is constantly proving most of those fears to be unfounded. She talked about the hope she has for his future.

When we were done reading, my husband looked at me; he was barely able to speak. The tears ran down his face with such force that his throat started to close up, but he was able to choke out a sentence that I will never forget: “I hope he meets a girl with Down syndrome, I want him to love someone the way I love you.”

When we were in the diagnosis phase, I think it was this very topic that haunted me the most. Marriage was so important to me, to us; would he ever get to experience it for himself? Will he ever find someone to love and will that someone love him back? As life expectancy increases for people with Down syndrome, so does the marriage rate. But it appears that when people with Down syndrome get married, it’s a newsworthy event. It’s still not commonplace.

I want him to get married, but I now realize that I want him to get married because marriage has brought me so much joy. Marriage makes me a better person. But just because I have chosen to make it the center of my life, doesn’t mean that it has to be the center of his life. And that would be OK. Our job as parents isn’t to make photocopy versions of our selves. Our job is to instill our good values in our children, but also to teach them to be independent, to make their own decisions, to make their own lives.

So, to the rabbi, I kindly disagree. Marriage isn’t the only thing, love is. Maybe our son won’t love someone the way his Dad and I love each other, but he will love and he will be loved. He will love his sister, his grandparents, his cousins and maybe even a wife. Married or unmarried, our son’s life will be full of love.

dance dance rEVOLution


A couple of days ago, I’m on the ol’ Youtube.

A place I rarely put any very scarcely available time into. As I’m hanging ten with the zillions of videos on that site, on this particular day, the “here’s some other videos you might like” spot has a screenshot that really catches my eye. It catches my eye because it’s, basically, a glow in the dark dance troupe – easily discernible from the picture. I click, I watch and it’s awesome. The amount of creativity, talent and undoubted passion has me staring at the screen, just thinking, “wow, people can be amazing”. ‘Play again’? Yes.

Open scene, 12 hours later, my sofa. I’m lazing it out, flipping channels on a Saturday, when I come across a snowboarding documentary. Remote down. It’s about Peace Park, an annual, snowboard terrain course that’s redesigned in a new location every year. The culprits responsible? A bunch of really passionate, really driven, really gifted snowboarders – with some pretty serious corporate sponsorship backing, of course.

As I watched the documentary, I had that same amazement in my eyes not 12 hours ago in front of the computer. The thought process behind the architecture, the labour put into the construction and finally, the way the riders took on the park; twisting, flying and thinking up new tricks as they went – was nothing short of amazing.

When I thought about it, reflecting, it’s not as though I hadn’t seen stuff like this before. Maybe the difference was how I was looking at it – with sheer amazement. I was amazed with what these folks could do by simply deciding they were going to put their mind to it.

Could I do it? In theory, sure. We can do anything. I mean, I wasn’t doing it. But really, none of those people are any different than you and me other than the fact that they were doing what they were doing with utter dedication and conviction. Getting up when they fell down. Back at it, getting better, being better.

Ergo, it made think of another guy that did same thing, but in the name of Love. He went against the grain, wasn’t afraid to speak his Heart, lifted himself up when he got knocked down, and ultimately, died for what he believed in.

And, just like the crazy glow-in-the-dark dancers and the aerial-batic snowboarders, he wasn’t any different than you and I. He just made a choice to be Love.

I don’t get frustrated with certain opinions of this fellow and criticisms toward what he stood for, I get a bit frustrated when the opinions are that of impossibility. Impossibility because “he is who he is and I’m just me”. False. There is no difference. We’ve all entered this world the same way and we’re all going to leave it the same way. The only difference was the dedication and conviction he had towards understanding that Love is all there is. It was the understanding that he could Love his mother the same way he could Love a common criminal or prostitute or just a plain old stranger.

He doesn’t have any powers that you and I don’t. Sure there’s a bunch of stories of this, that and the other. But, the truth is; me, you, him, all part of the same grand design of Love.

I watched a snowboarder take a big fall on his first go at the park. Did he ditch his gear and say, “f this”? No. Shook it off, back to the top, away we go again. That’s why he was there, to conquer that park. When someone chooses to slight us, when they’re an unfamiliar obstacle we’ve never attempted before, why do we allow it to intimidate us or make us angry or take away our Love? Because we make the choice to let it. Because we forget the reason why we’re here.

Today is about a bunch of stuff that is just kinda whatever; a bunny and some eggs, rising from the dead, chocolate, Safeway being closed. None of it really matters.

What does matter, is Love. And, every day is about that.

Be Love.