Monthly archives "January 2015"

don’t stick a fork in there….

electrical heart

This past week was Vulnerability Week; well, not officially. Like, it wouldn’t be on one of those “super inclusive of everyone” calendars or anything. What I mean is that, I dumped out a lot of feeling this past week. At least, for me, it was Vulnerability Week.

At first, I tried to keep it in. For lots of reasons.

Who cares?

Be a “man”.

Don’t show weakness.

You’re being stupid.

The list goes on.

I’ll tell you this, rather unequivocally; keeping it in is not going with the flow. The Universe does not support putting a mask on your Heart. I think that I thought I wanted to push it down, but I couldn’t. It was pretending.

Was it awesome to not pretend? No. It was tough. I felt little. I felt like a wuss. I felt like it was a mistake. But, above all of those clouds, I felt like I was being who I really was. I still had trouble accepting who that person was when it came to what I was feeling, but it was okay to be real. It was okay to put my Heart on my sleeve, or on the table, or in a text message, or wherever. Just so long as I putting it out there; to get stepped on, to get welcomed, to get Loved. It didn’t matter.

We’re all fighting battles – very cliché, but very true. Some battles, I’m learning to share with others. Some, I still have locked up tighter than Fort Knox. It’s just the way it is right now. It may remain that way, or it may change. It’s all centred around how big you want to allow your Heart to be.

Two things happen when you open the vault.

1 – you connect with your Self.

2 – you connect with the person sitting across from you, or on the other end of the phone, or laying beside you.

Actually, number 2 may not exactly happen that way all the time. But, you’ll still learn something equally as important. You’ll learn who you may NOT connect with. It’s like electricity. You can’t just start connecting random wires together hoping for success 100% of the time. Chances are, you’re gonna get shocked a few times.

When we get vulnerable, we’re asking to Love who we are. Not for someone else to Love us, but for us to Love us. We’re allowing ourselves to look at who we are underneath what we’re told and taught to believe we should be. It really isn’t easy. It takes a tonne of courage to say,

“I’m jealous”.

“I feel inadequate at my job”.

“I’m having a hard time being happy with my appearance”.

“I’m struggling with life”.

But, when you find that courage, you also issue a challenge. You issue a challenge to yourself on how to overcome all of those obstacles. If you don’t allow those thoughts, feelings and emotions out, how will you ever know what’s truly holding you back inside? Sometimes, just changing a light bulb won’t work. You need to knock down the wall and see which wires are fried, or crossed, or maybe not even there.

There will be people that will embrace you. There will be others that won’t understand. You’ll make a connection with those you were meant to. And, you’ll lose those that just won’t care for your “drama”. Regardless, you are the electrician. You have to find the light.

Live Love.

Be Love.



mirror, mirror….

mirror mirror

So, I’m reading Brené Brown’s, “the Gifts of Imperfection”. About halfway through.

Completely unrelated (but not), I fell asleep with this book the other night. I ended up creasing a corner of the front cover and a few of the pages; I hate “damaging” books. Guess it fits that the one book I goof up is titled, “the Gifts of Imperfection”? Perfect. J

Dr Brown’s approach is a bit of a tough one. Tough in the regard that, at least so far, she’s all about taking a hard look at what we do to ourselves. Or, maybe more aptly put, what we allow to be done to us – by us. It’s about how we let the little voice in our head convince us that we’re not good enough, not worthy, undeserving, and ultimately, constructing a seemingly insurmountable wall in front of being able to Love ourselves.

Although, the book is insightful and very thought-provoking, I’m not feeling the super greatest while I read it. I think that means it’s working. No pain, no gain, right? Well, maybe if you believe it has to be that way. Definitely, debatable.

As a researcher, Dr Brown, over years of work, has offered her definition on such things as Love, belonging and spirituality. Tough ideas to put into words let alone, a bonafide definition. And, although her insights carry more substance, education and inspiration than I could ever imagine myself being in possession of, it’s not her words that move me, it’s the feeling.

It’s the feeling I experienced when I read her thoughts on how saying, “I Love you” isn’t the same as actually practicing, “I Love you”. We can say those three words as much as we like, but are we really living them? It’s the feeling I experienced when I read that I’m not only numbing the pain I don’t want to feel, but also the joy I don’t know how to feel, either.

This is what this book is doing for me; it’s asking me for accountability and responsibility of myself. It’s asking me to have my actions speak louder than words. It’s reminding me that I always have the power to effect change and that I create hope. It’s not necessarily telling me how-to do all these things, but it’s certainly telling me to ask myself if and how I’m choosing to do these things. The book doesn’t need to tell me how to do these things because I have the answers inside me. We all do. The answer will be that feeling that moves you – like really moves you. Whether it makes you feel invincible, or want to cry, or find it impossible to wipe the smile off your face; you’ll know it when you feel it. I can’t describe for me or for you because I’m not you and you’re not me. I just know it will feel genuine and you’ll have to force yourself to ignore it.

Even as I write this, I feel a strong sense of heartfelt emotion (or, maybe it’s because I’m 38,000 feet in the air leaving +20c Phoenix for -20c Winnipeg?). The point is, trust your Heart. Ask yourself, as many times as you can remember in a day, “what am I doing about being the real, authentic me?” Just make sure you’re listening to the answer.

Live Love.

Be Love.



when i was younger, so much younger than today….John?

helping heart



Au secours


This isn’t only a cry for help, but it’s a call to help. It’s a prompt to reassure you that you can’t do it alone. You’re not supposed to do it alone.

We get stubborn, we get arrogant and we get proud. What we really are is ashamed, embarrassed and fearful.

We don’t ask for help because much like a toddler and his new shoelaces, we think, “I can do it”. And, maybe we can, but we don’t have to.


Two logs make the fire burn brighter.  [DP, my brother]

Two voices sing the song louder.

Two heads are better than one. Unless, it’s a dragon. Then, you’re probably more eff’ed.


Life isn’t about what you can do on your own; it’s about what you can do together. With whomever. It’s about relying on yourself to rely on others.

There have been many a time, and will be many more, that I’ve believed I could figure it out on my own. Maybe I think I know it all and no one could possibly have anything better to offer? Maybe I don’t want to be a burden? Maybe I’m disappointed in myself and the added disappointment of another person would just make things worse?

It might all be true, but it’s all, for sure, false.

Love can’t do anything but Love.

Very simply, just put it out there. Whether you’re the helpee or the helper, just put it out there. When you lead with Love, the right things follow. When it’s really Love, it’s really Love. It’s not judgement or disappointment. It’s not spite or superiority. It’s, “let’s build this together. Let’s do more with more”.

If you were meant to do everything on your own, for your own being, you’d be stuck on your own island without a boat, or wi-fi or an iPhone. But, you’re not, so why put yourself there?

Reach into yourself to reach out to someone else.

Find your Love, use your Love, share your Love.

Be Love.


your one step plan to success!

just do right


How often do you wake up thinking about what you have to do that day?

How often do you wake up thinking about what you can do right that day?

Where on your list of daily chores, does that appear, “what can I do right today?”

Every day, every week, month and year, whether we know it or not, we’re setting goals. We’re setting them all the time; from the most minute to the most monumental. But, how are we setting them? Are they things that we “have” to do, things to get us “ahead”, things that make us “better”?

How are we planning our lives?

What if, instead, of thinking about what we’re going to do, where we’re going to do it and what we’re going to get from it, we simply decided to do right?

The universe just wants you to do right. You just want you to do right. It’s why your soul is Love.

We lose our way, not when we’re confused, or when we’re overwhelmed, or when hardship befalls us, but when we lose the one focus that will always guide us; to do right. To be Love.

We complicate things; it’s easy. It’s easy to listen to the voices inside of us and on the outside of us that cloud who we really are. The true challenge is to let our Heart be our guiding principle and let go of the rest. It’s to wake up and say, “whatever it is I have to do today, I’m going to do right. I’m going to take hold of that and let go of the rest. I am not scared.”

The outcome is never your decision, but the intention is.

Sometimes you have to take a leap of faith first; the trust part comes later. But, if I can (which, considering I get to write this stuff, I can) I suggest that you don’t rely on faith. Rather, KNOW that your intention to do right is what creates your reality. It’s KNOWING that the intention of your Heart is what reveals your true being, Love.

When you “do right”, you’ll know it. None of us have the excuse of not knowing what that is. That’s an easy out, to plead ignorance. You’ll know it because; you’ll feel it in you, you’ll feel it around you, you’ll hear it, you’ll speak it.

You’ll either choose to be everything that is inside of you, or accept that which is outside of you.

“Just do right.”

Dr. Maya Angelou

be Love.