Monthly archives "July 2014"

is “suck-cess” draining you

suck-cess

We live in a “civil”-ization that promotes more is more. If you don’t own a newly built home or sit in the corner office; your kids don’t go to the daycare you have to enroll in before they’ve even been born or you don’t wear Ray-Bans, well, you haven’t really “made it”. And, chances are, even if that is your life, you’re probably still going to eventually feel like you’re missing something.

What gives?

It’s the success we’ve defined for ourselves. It’s everywhere. It’s your Ikea kitchen, it’s your Mercedes-Benz and it’s your Coach purse. Who we are has become what we have.

However, for as cynical as that all may sound, there really is nothing wrong with any of it. Material possessions provide enjoyment and enjoyment is an important part of life.

The question is, “are we really happy”? Are we expanding our presence and our soul? Are we filling up our Heart? Or, are we working more hours, getting more in debt, having more arguments and living in stress all because we’ve confused enjoyment with happiness?

Redefine your success

If what you do every day, from work to your personal life to the company you keep, makes you feel empty, I challenge you to ask yourself why. If what you do every day, from work to your personal life to the company you keep, makes you feel full, I still challenge you to ask yourself why.

Success doesn’t take the same appearance for us all. But, beneath the identity it creates for each of us, the common thread will be how many people you help, how many smiles you create and how many hugs you give. As much as you don’t have to own the biggest house on the block, you don’t have to sell your worldly possessions and build schools in Ghana, either. It all starts right here and right now. You are happy right here and right now. It’s a choice that you get to make no matter what you have or don’t have.

Happiness leads to success

Making the choice to be happy is truly what success is. What you do matters just as much as how and why you do it. Everyone deserves your smile. Everyone deserves your Love. Everyone deserves the amazing gift that is you. You have that to offer no matter what you do each day. You can’t buy or learn any of this in school. It’s just you! We just need to start paying attention to it instead of all the daily distractions.

Wake up in the morning and ask yourself why you’re doing whatever it is that you’re doing. Ask yourself why you can’t be your best self today and smile and support the people around you and live with Love. You don’t have to quit your job or give up eating chocolate to do any of this. But, help yourself by putting yourself in a place that supports being your true, Loving self; the person you were always intended to be. If your Heart wants you to work at a greenhouse, do it! If your Heart knows you can be a life coach, take the chance! Want to teach yoga? Get training! Just live from your Heart and from happiness. Too often, we focus on the end game. We focus on what we want our actions to result in rather than simply equating happiness to our actions. Start leading with your Heart, and I promise that everything you need will follow.

Success starts with happiness and happiness is all within you. It’s not what you can get, it’s what you can give.

be Love.

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stop being a cartoon lion.

prince john

 

How far will pride get you?

Pride might get you to a spot where you’ll say, “I’m better than you.” Or, it may get you to a place that tells you, “I’m the most important.” Or, the most common of all, it will do its darndest to ensure that, “I’m right and you’re wrong”.

In a nutshell, pride isn’t going to get you very far.

Deceptive in and of itself, pride has more disguises than we will ever recognize. We’re not happy with the way our spouse leaves dirty dishes on the table; pride. We wonder why the “lazy” person in front of us can’t walk down the escalator; pride. We judge the homeless person’s inevitable question of “spare charge?” when all he wanted to ask was if he could borrow our tie. Pride. It’s all pride. And, it’s the barrier to being Love.

When pride convinces us that we’re smarter, prettier, superior and, most of all, “right”, we sever our true connection to the souls around us. We create a very physical separation from something that we’re all a part of. When faced with conflict (this doesn’t just have to be a fight or an argument), it’s our innate human instinct that tells us we need to win. What this really is, is pride getting the better of us. And, when pride wins, Love loses.

Really, when you think about it, how constructive is an emotion like pride? Okay, so you were right. You were following the rules of the road, someone else wasn’t and an accident resulted. You immediately get into an argument with the other motorist about what happened and let’s say you “win”. Great! Is your car still damaged? Yes. Do you still have to go the inconvenience of repairing it? Yes. Does the situation suck regardless? Yes. But, you won! You’re the better person (insert whichever sarcastic tone suits you best). By “winning”, the only thing you’ve created is animosity, superiority and a separation from your fellow man; and, most importantly, your true self. You have no idea if that person just lost their job, was returning from a funeral, rushing to the hospital because their wife was about to give birth to their first born or just a shitty driver. Pride doesn’t care to understand; it just wants to be at the top.

Why pride is the most challenging hurdle to overcome on your path to Love is because it doesn’t just come in the form of an arrogant, puffed out chest at the yacht club. It shows itself in all those little daily instances that we barely notice because our default need is to have things our way or to be right.

Pride thrives on “I” and “mine”. It needs an identity; it needs a self-image to attach itself to. Love only requires your willingness. Love doesn’t see faces, or ethnicities, or status, age, education, occupation, the list goes on. The biggest one; Love doesn’t see hate. It just sees the opportunity for Love and wants to fulfil its meaning of helping others see those opportunities. Love will offer you the ability to understand that anything and everything we experience that isn’t Love, is because we need help. It’s because, somewhere inside, we’re hurting. Hurt is our unidentified search for Love projecting itself in a negative way. Abandoning pride is the way to see this in others and in ourselves. It’s the way to re-establish that we’re all connected and here to help each other. Let Love be your window.

 

be Love.

 

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rent or own?

Rent or Own Cropped

Which path are you creating?

In one way or another, we’ve all allowed ourselves to believe we are a product of our circumstance. Whether it’s our home life, our self-esteem, a crummy job or a lack of resources; we subscribe to the notion that things happen to us and not for us so as to justify and understand why we don’t have what we want in life. The idiomatic phrases, “it is what it is”, “c’est la vie”, and “what can you do?” are all calling cards of the passive, if not defeated, observer.

We don’t have to look far to answer the “what can you do?” question. The answer? “Anything you want”. How many “nothing to something” stories do we all know? Oprah Winfrey, Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Chris Gardner and Richard Branson are only but a few. The most amazing thing is that there are way more “real” stories of people that we never hear about. People that are doing exceptional things every day of their lives just by being their true self, owning their life and trusting in Love. These are the people, exactly like you and I, that have chosen to be the best version of themselves whether they’re the weekly soup kitchen volunteer, the marathon runner, the person at work that always has a smile for you or simply someone that Loves the life they’ve created for themselves.

“I’m not good enough, I’m too scared, I’m not strong enough or I don’t have enough money” just doesn’t work. Too many people no different from you and I have proven it all wrong time and time again.

You create your life. It’s yours to own.

It’s time we stopped buying external excuses and started owning our lives. Placing blame on another person or a circumstance in our life immediately forfeits our ability to shape our path. It tells our brains, “hey, we don’t have any control over this, so why bother?” It makes us believe that, because the obstacle in our way is external, we’re stuck. But, the truth is, you’re never stuck. You always have the ability to do something about everything in your life. You choose your response. You choose your behavior. You choose your attitude. And, the biggest choice of all; you choose whether you trust Love or hang onto fear.

The great thing about you, your life and all your “circumstances”, is that you’re the common denominator. You are what’s always part of the equation to your success and the even more pertinent, didactic successes that disguise themselves as failures. If there’s anything this tells us, it’s that we do have the ability to shape what’s in front of us.

If you look within, you will never be without.

We all have Love inside of us. We’ve all made that choice already. The only call we need to answer is, when? With Love, you will never go wrong. You will never fail. Nothing will ever happen that your life doesn’t require. Shed the fear and allow Love to help you own your life. Let Love show you who you can be.

be Love.

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