Monthly archives "May 2014"

what is your definition?

A relationship based on Love…is one in which each partner allows the other to be what he or she chooses, with no expectations and no demands. It is a simple association of two people who love each other so much that each would never expect the other to be something that he or she wouldn’t choose for himself or herself.

It is a union of independence, rather than dependence.

broken records can play beautiful music

Dept-of-Redundancy

 

Love is challenging.

Here’s the easy part; Love will make you happier than anything else. The hard part; it will be the most difficult decision you’ll ever follow through on.

Is that an encouraging opener? No….well, yes and no. But, it’s real.

You’re not going to get it right the first time. Or, the second time. Or, the thirty-seventh time. In fact, chances are, you’ll never always get it right. The number of years you’ve been on this Earth is the number of years of learned behaviour and thoughts that you have to reverse. Thoughts that; you’re not good enough, smart enough, attractive enough, that you can’t be happy, that more for someone else means less for you, that you’re in competition with the person beside you, and the list goes on.

None of these things is true. We believe them because we’ve heard them and thought them enough times throughout “life”, that we’ve created truth of them.

When you learned to ride a bicycle, did you fall down? When you set your goal to complete a half-marathon, was your first practice run 13.1 miles? Your first day at a new job; did you know how to do everything?

Yet, when it comes to being Love, we think we should be able to do this right away. And, in every instance. Then, obviously, when it doesn’t happen that way, we think we’re failing.

You only fail when you quit.

The only way we can get to where we’re going is to know that we’re where we need to be. And, practice.

Practice, practice, practice.

Like learning to ride a bike, like running a half-marathon and like the first day at anything, Love takes practice. What we need to keep present is that to be Love and to Love ourselves, understand that we’re going to slip up. It’s okay. We have the preconceived notion that when it comes to our mental or emotional capacity, we’re static – we have no room for change and “how we are is how we are”. False. If Love = infinite and you = Love, the math is easy. Your potential has zero limitations.

Repeat, repeat, repeat.

If this seems familiar, it’s because it is. Repetition is the hook. To be Love, we need to constantly remind ourselves of what we really are. And, we need change. Whether that’s changing physically what’s around us, emotionally what’s in us or our mental response to those who challenge us, we need to remind ourselves that we are who changes us. Change doesn’t necessarily mean removing yourself from your environment (although, it can), it just means changing your response to your environment. I know that it’s often said that “you’re a product of your environment” but I’d like to challenge that by adding “your environment is a product of you”.

Anything we’ve learned, we can unlearn. Feelings of guilt and resentment and judgement are not who we really are. Keep practising and keep repeating and keep giving yourself (and the people around you) second and third and forty first chances at Love. And, for gosh sake, don’t be so serious. 🙂

be Love.

theheartmovementtiny

 

in Love we trust

trust love

 

Do you trust me?

Why? Because I run a website about Love?

Why not? Because I somewhat anonymously hide behind a computer screen?

Is trust something that’s earned or awarded or, maybe for most of us, something we rarely feel comfortable enough to use?

From sharing our most personal thoughts with a friend or believing what your mechanic tells you, trust is something that’s short in supply.

And, from a cynically pragmatic stand point, rightfully so. Never more than right now does it seem as though the majority population is focused on getting what we need without much consternation as to how we get it. Just so long as we get it.  

So, where does that leave us?

What if I told you that you didn’t need to worry about trusting anyone? What if I told you that all you needed to do was trust an idea? What if I told you I wasn’t crazy and you should just trust me?

We stand behind our guarded walls because, most likely, at some point in our lives, we were burned. Like we’re all told from a very young age, “learn from your mistakes”. So, we do. Instead of potentially being taken advantage of again, or ripped off again, or having our Heart broken again, we just avoid those potential possibilities altogether.

And so, where does that one leave us?

I’d like you to trust an idea. I’d like to you to put your faith in one thing.

Your ability to let go.

I’m piling on another reason why Love is your answer (it’s kinda what we do here). That ‘nother reason is that by trusting in Love, you don’t need to trust in anyone or anything else.

Does it mean that everything is going to go your way? Absolutely not. But, it does mean that everything that happens is because it needs to so that you can be who you’re supposed to be and where you’re supposed to be.

There’s a really huge common theme here at t[h]m; it’s letting Love lead your life. If your intention is from a presence of Love, there’s nothing more that you can offer. I don’t mean for you to hug your mechanic (although we really should hug each other more) and hand over your wallet. But, I do mean for you to approach the situation with an open Heart, not with an accusatory mind. We need to stop thinking that everyone has an angle, even if they do. It doesn’t matter. We need to start opening our Hearts.

Trust that Love knows when you’re supposed to be taken advantage of or have your Heart broken. Trust that Love knows when someone needs to betray you or steal your money. It’s these circumstances, including all the wonderful experiences we have, that happen because they shape who we are. They help us stay on our path.

What makes you the amazing person you are is every experience you’ve celebrated and every challenge you’ve endured. What makes you beautiful is your Heart. It’s all because Love knows where it’s going.

Trust Love.

be Love.

theheartmovementtiny

doing the same thing + expecting a different result = insanity

Imprisonment – the old way Freedom – the new way
 

Separation

I believe I am separate from others. I believe I am separate from a higher being. I even believe I can be separate from who I truly am.

 

Integration

I am connected to everyone and everything. We support each other.

 

Secrecy

I withhold information from others and the truth from myself. I never allow anyone, including myself, to know who I really am.

Honesty and openness

With honesty, I am who I truly am. I do not withhold who I am for fear of pain or loss of control. I can never really know or predict the response to my honesty and should, therefore, stop assuming responsibility for the emotions, growth and reactions of others to my honest, non-manipulative communication.

Fear-based monogamy

Fear of loss of a relationship separates me from the vulnerability of having to deal with other relationships. Therefore, I feel (separate) and “safe”.

Relationships by choice

There is no inherent “right” or “wrong” to any type of relationship. All relationships are inherently neutral and “okay”. If I choose monogamy, I do not expect or need my partner to do the same.

Conditional love

I will love you, only so long as you fulfill my needs and expectations. I withdraw my love if you do not satisfy me.

Unconditional Love

I Love you without trying to change you. I do not require you to fulfill my needs or have expectations of you.

Commitment

I need commitment in order to avoid my fear of having to deal with other relationships. I believe commitment ensures security. This is a false sense.

Being in the present

I stay present. I do not need commitment because I trust the future to bring me what I require and teach me what I need to learn.

Expectations

I want, expect and try to get others to fulfill my expectations and needs. I use my relationships to get what I need.

No expectations

I enjoy the relationships of others but without expectations.

Manipulation

I use obvious or cloaked manipulation to facilitate my needs being met. I do this to remain protected from my own fears. I see others as who I need them to be and not for who they are.

Allowingness

I allow my relationships to be who they need to be. Only then can I see who they truly are.

The need to control

I do not believe that everything that happens to me is for my highest good. I try to control and shape all aspects of my life and relationships.

Absolute trust

I know and trust that everything occurs for me and my highest good. I have no desire to control anyone.

Dependency

I depend on and need someone outside of myself to make me happy.

Self-sufficiency

I recognize that I, and only I, am the creator of my own reality. Therefore, only I am the creator of my own happiness.

A person cannot fully love more than one person

I believe that if a relationship I have also loves another relationship, that there is less love for me.

A person can fully Love more than one person

There is a never-ending source of Love for everyone to share. No matter how many people I Love and how many people Love me, it does not diminish the strength and force of any source of Love.

Obligation

It is not good when a relationship has less time for me.

Grace

If I truly Love myself unconditionally, the time spent with myself is equal to the time spent with another. The time I spend with myself is as enjoyable as the time I spend with others.

Pain

I believe there is always the potential to experience pain. I choose this.

Happiness

I know I am the creator of my happiness and do not choose pain.

Loss

Ending or losing a relationship creates pain.

Gain

I recognize this relationship no longer serves me. I am grateful for the experience I have shared and the lessons I have learned. I allow myself to move in another direction from the relationship with no animosity or hard feelings. Only Love.

Loneliness

I require the physical presence of others. I am not comfortable with me.

Connectedness

I know that I am connected to everyone, including those I Love. I know I am never alone even when I am by myself in physical form.

Externalized anger

I am angry at the outside world for not meeting my expectations.

Internalized recognition

I recognize that I have created a reality that I do not prefer.

Victimhood

I, sometimes, hurt others. Sometimes, I am hurt by others.

Empowerment

I create my own reality, which includes other people’s reactions to my actions. I can never be hurt by another person unless I choose to be hurt. Only I am responsible for my reactions to the comments and actions of others.

External responsibility

My relationship partner is seeking to have their needs met by me. A person’s needs can never be truly met by anyone but themselves. This creates expectations, attachment and possibly ill-fated feelings.

Internal responsibility

I am pure in my intention toward the relationship. I am 100% who I truly am. I am fully responsible for what, in my integrity, I would like to give to the relationship.

*published with permission from Aromansse – yoga meditation healing [www.aromansse.com]

how to use Love to get rich

loveormoney

 

….with happiness!

(had to rope you in somehow)

Statistical analysis has actually proven that, contrary to popular belief, material items will leave you empty and continually searching to fill that void. Whereas, Love is the most cost effective path to happiness.

Unofficial summary of data gathering:

Your rolled up hipster jeans will go out of style; hugs never will.

Unlimited talk and text plan – $56.50 per month; looking someone in the eye and telling them how much they mean to you – no charge, every time.

Your overpriced BMW will break down; opening your Heart to a meaningful and touching moment will make you break down.

$500k can buy you a beautiful house; but, home is really where the Heart is.

An expensive watch will tell you what time it is; it’s always time for Love.

The gym membership you never use costs about $700 per year; exercising your ability for compassion will make you stronger than a million squats.

It’s pretty nice sitting in the corner office with the big paycheck; without Love, life will be pretty empty at the top.

Who knows what you spent on those Cartier sunglasses?; watching a beautiful sunset costs nothing.

A 4-carat diamond will reflect and refract the light around you; devoting yourself to living a life of Love will enlighten you.

You owe it to yourself to have a life of Love and happiness.

PS I have nothing against hipsters and their rolled up pants.

be Love.

theheartmovementtiny

ma

mothers day

 

10 years ago, if you’d told me I’d be one of those guys that would call his mom twice a week to check in, buy her flowers “just because” and stop in with only the intention to say hello, I woulda said, “not a chance”.

But, that’s also when I lived at home and, more importantly, with a pretty entitled chip on my shoulder. The things my mom did for me, the bullshit I put her through, to me, was all part of the program. That’s what moms did for their kids, right?

Fast forward to only a handful of years ago and a completely enlightening realization on my behalf (better late than never), and my opinion couldn’t be more different. My mom is nothing short of pretty amazing. She does anything she can for me and asks, quite literally, for nothing in return. Her legal obligation toward me ended a lot of years ago on my eighteenth birthday, yet she continues to draw from an infinite source of caring and generosity far beyond any duty or expectation.

She truly is a reflection of unconditional Love.

I’ve been a jerk and smart-ass; a brat and a baby. Yet, it’s as though she has the shortest memory as is humanly possible. (I’ve had a good share of rather shining son moments, too. Just for the record). She, unequivocally, will do anything that is within her power to help me. And, as I accumulate years of life under my belt, I see more and more that this is a very special thing and has absolutely nothing to do with obligation or entitlement. When I got assigned a mom, I got a real good one.

For me, amidst all the lessons my mom has taught me over the course of my existence, the most powerful is that of her unconditional Love; her living example of what our Hearts can do when we act from a source of Love. Granted, many people will say that it’s because she’s my mom and sure, maybe there’s a bit of argument there. But, I assure you, the Love she shows me is solely to do with the person she is, not some agreement she signed. And, it’s something that we can all be. It’s something we can all use as inspiration.

If any of this resonates with you, I’d like to put you to a little task. It’s definitely okay to buy your mom flowers or a card, or take her to brunch or make her dinner on her special day. But, take 30 seconds to extend a gesture that costs absolutely nothing and carries more value to her than anything you could ever buy. Tell your mom how much you appreciate her and that because of her, every day in your life is a special day. Tell her you Love her and hug with all your Heart.

Now, if only my ma was internet savvy and could read this. I’d definitely score some brownie points and make a bid to overtake my brother for no.1 son.

Happy Mother’s Day!

be Love.

theheartmovementtiny