Results for category "heart to heart"

ok, ok….I hear you?

My dad has taught me a bunch of things; how to change the brakes on my truck, the way to replace a toilet, understanding the inner workings of caring for a home and, basically, that I can figure out most anything that I could pay someone to do for me (and if I needed some obscure tool to do whatever it was, it was probably in the garage).

My father grew up in a circumstance that required resourcefulness above anything else. There wasn’t much to go around other than to be hard working and make due the best way possible. The experience and challenges he lived through in his formative years, shaped the way he would bring of himself to his family; to provide for us as best as he could regardless of the work it took of him so that we wouldn’t experience, first hand, what he did. As he worked and worked and worked to give us the things he went without growing up, he also focused on empowering my brother and I with a mentality that helped us believe we were smart enough and capable enough to learn how to do anything and to not be dependent upon others. To him, like many, knowledge is power. But, even further to that, he knew that being confident in yourself to find the knowledge and use that knowledge, was even greater power.

As a fully functioning and contributing adult (although, I’m sure still a smart mouth eighteen year old in his eyes), there’s not really much teaching going on anymore. Sure, he’s there to help in a moment’s notice or answer a question about hot water tanks or thermostats, but I figure he recognizes my brother and I are running our own lives and we’re doing ok. Not to mention, he’s been there for us more times than anyone could ever expect; even when I was a smart mouth eighteen year old. He’s done his part.

And yet, much to my surprise and I’m sure without him even knowing, he recently taught me one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in quite some time; when true emotion is felt, people communicate the best way they know possible and it is real and sincere.

A little while ago, my dad and I had a moment. Not a warm, feely moment, but the other kind. As said moment was unfolding, my awareness could see what was about to happen and I responded in a manner I’d never done before when going toe-to-toe with him. I felt positive and, more importantly, at peace with how I handled things. And, save the details, for all intents and purposes, I was probably due an apology. But, if history was any sort of predictor of the future, I knew there wasn’t one coming.

Not too long thereafter, at a family event, as I was saying goodbye to both he and my mom, he said something to me as I hugged him. It took me about a day to finally realize and say, “oh shit! That was his apology”, but I said, “Oh shit! That was his apology”.

What he said doesn’t matter and, in truth, it wasn’t anything that will forever go down in poetic lore. I didn’t realize at the time it was happening, but what he said was all he had the capacity to use as communication to convey what he felt. It was all he had the ability or the confidence or the courage, or whatever, to say to me to offer as reconciliation to what had happened the week prior. The thing is, because I know my father, because I know how he grew up, because I know where he came from, because I know how he works, I realized that it wasn’t for me to expect more from him. It was my responsibility to understand what he was trying to say. It was my responsibility to translate his communication because he, himself, could not translate it. He could not translate it from what it felt like in his Heart to what it should sound like with his voice. But, it was real and it was sincere.

And so, I am empowered with a new perspective toward receiving communication. I am empowered with not just hearing or not hearing the words I might expect to hear from someone, but to understand and interpret and feel what is being put out there. We all don’t communicate the same. We all don’t have the same experiences. We all don’t have the same ability to convey what’s really in our Heart to translate in a way that reflects that. I’ve learned that there’s more to just hearing and listening, there’s feeling. We feel what we feel, we say what we feel and we feel what we say. But, how often do we feel what someone else is saying or even not saying? And, I don’t mean us feeling what it is, but feeling it as though we were them. That is what feeling someone else’s Heart is. That is truly opening your own Heart to theirs. That is connection. That is compassion.

Thanks, Dad. You’ve done more than I, myself, may ever have the words to express.

Be Love.

space, the final frontier

Sorry. This isn’t about Star Trek.

There’s only so much you can effectively manage at any one point in time. And, whatever you believe the amount to be that you can manage effectively, it’s actually much less.

The plain and simple of it is that we’ve got too much stuff going on in our lives. On every level. We need to make space.

We do too much. We want too much. We own too much. We think too much. We worry too much. We everything too much. Making space focuses on lightening your life; lightening that which takes you away from you.

Space allows for two things to happen; old, stagnant energy to vacate and new, fresh energy to enter. Making space doesn’t mean you get rid of everything that is old or doesn’t serve you how it used to or whatever it may be. Making space is about challenging what you really need in your life from what seems like the most inconsequential to the stuff you don’t know where to begin to deal with.

There will certainly be things you will identify that you can do without, materially speaking. But I caution, don’t be tricked by things that seem like they don’t take up much room or get in the way. If it doesn’t serve you, be rid of it. Perhaps there is opportunity for someone else to make use of what you can’t? Above all, it releases dormant energy that has taken up residence in your environment. The importance being, again, move things out to open it up to something new. Or, better still, leave it free. Leave it to be an open abode that does not need to filled with anything. What feels better? A closet or a garage that’s bursting at the seams or one that’s open and easy to navigate?

What about the seemingly silly stuff we see on a daily basis? How inundated is your inbox? Have you given out your email address to every store in the mall to get their “deal of the week” notice to buy more shit you really don’t need? Unsubsribe. How many accounts do you follow on Instagram? If it doesn’t make you laugh, provide insight or keep in touch with someone you really want to keep in touch with, unfollow. Same with Facebook. Hey, there’s a lot of great social media out there, but really choose what enriches your life. Otherwise, it’s clutter. Electronic clutter.

What about your schedule. Are you effective and efficient in your daily administrative tasks of life? Do you say, “yes” to everything? Do you go here and there to please everyone but yourself? Are the things you’re doing really serving you or just autopilot stuff? Sometimes, the biggest help one can give themselves is to simply sit down and actually evaluate how things are being done. There’s always a better way.

And finally, although the list could literally be endless, I leave with this; make space within yourself. Make space within your Heart and mind of that which you’ve been carrying that is too heavy to carry any further. We all have our challenges and our burdens, but that doesn’t mean they are just to be our own. Share your story and your pain with someone that truly cares about you. Share it with someone that wants to help clear it from your life. Or, perhaps seek out a counselor or someone in a professional field. Freeing yourself from the heaviness that you carry in your Heart and mind, will be the biggest creator of space in your life. This is a form of lightness that will release you from the prison its created and transform itself into joy and peace with the person you truly are. You were meant to be light. Shine.

Be Love.

this is one superpower i don’t want

Invulnerability.

No. No thanks. Not for me.

So, you think you’re doing pretty good; making forward progress. And, you are. You’re doing great. You ARE making progress; maybe even feeling a bit proud of yourself.  But then….the Universe says, “not so fast, guy”, stomach punch, take a knee.

My week past had a resounding theme to it, vulnerability. It’d been a long time since I’d had a week where a particular message just gets pounded into you everywhere you turn. At first, you think you notice something but aren’t really exactly sure. It happens again and gets a bit more of your attention. Still not sure, though. Then, the Universe starts getting a teensy bit impatient with your astute ability at being obtuse and kicks you in the shin. “Third time’s a charm”, right? Now you’ve noticed; the tidal wave hits. It was vulnerability.

I got the picture that I hadn’t delved into vulnerability as intimately as I thought I had. Sure, I’d read about it, I’d YouTubed it, even had some conversations about it. But, the more I thought about it, the more I think I realized I never really got any deeper into it. The message was that it was time that I did.

I let my awareness do the work simply by asking for it to come to me. I hadn’t been aware of not being aware of it until now; if that makes sense? And, I’ll admit, I gave myself a decent sized headshake when I finally received some insight I hadn’t known before. The “of course, I should of known that” headshake (even though I know it’s ok that I didn’t know it at the time). In truth, I’d thought I was pretty good at being vulnerable. I’m not shy to tell people I believe in Love; I could care less about having watery eyes watching The Little Prince; and I don’t hold back sharing my feelings. But, that’s just it; I’m not scared of any of those things. I’m not scared of those parts. And, that’s why I thought I was getting pretty good at it. You know what that really is, though? That’s getting comfortable. The Universe doesn’t mind if you get comfortable for a little while, but it doesn’t want you staying there for too long. There’s bigger things to be done.

And so, I thought….I thought about what vulnerability is to me, and….vulnerability is the capacity to be open and honest with what’s in your Heart without the fear of reaction, response, reprisal or consequence. The stuff I just spoke about; those were things that I may have once been vulnerable toward, but I wasn’t anymore. There was nothing I was scared of in those situations. I grew into those things. This past week, the Universe was telling me I need to keep growing.

Being truly vulnerable is not easy. It is really tough, actually. It’s not only facing your fear of what may (or may not) come back at you as a result of your openness, but it’s exposing your personal self. When you’re really at the core of who are, there’s a tonne of stuff there. There’s Love and happiness and pain and anguish, joy and hope and depression and despair. And, you’re deciding to share it not knowing what awaits. How could you not be scared? It’s all the stuff that’s down in there that the mind tells us we should be scared of because of what we can potentially lose by letting it out. But, the only thing we really lose when we let it out is the prison it’s trapped in. We free our Heart.

That’s not even to mention how badly you could just screw it up, too. You may not say something the way you intended. Or, do something the way you had planned it out in your head. Or, you just simply forget to say or do something because you’re in the middle of a hurricane of emotion and fear. But, it’s all ok. Vulnerability is accepting that you will be in this position. You know who gets to worry about the stuff that it seems you didn’t do “right”? The Universe. The Universe makes it right for you because that’s how it supports you when you offer your true, sincere self. You do your part, It does its. Nothing ever worth it was easy.

So, do I want to be invulnerable? No. I want to feel all of it. I want to grow from the pain and get bigger with the Love. You can’t have one side of it without the other. It will get you where you need to be. It will get you to a place where the Love in your Heart blankets everything else. It won’t stop the bad stuff, the tough times or the hardships; but, it covers it, brings it close and says, “I’ll take care of this. You’ll be ok”.

“When you’re vulnerable and freaked out, it’s so easy to end something. To actually lean in in those moments and do the work is going to be scary, it’s going to be challenging. But all you have to do is start. And you should expect that it’s challenging and you should love that it’s challenging, because then you’ll appreciate it” – Mark Groves

 

Be Love.

 

 

 

 

it’s not just all in your head

We’ve all been there. In fact, we might all be here right now to some degree or another. It may very possibly be that you’d say to yourself, “no, not me”. It may be something you just don’t believe you’d be susceptible to. It’s, also, easily plausible that you’ve never actually even considered it as something present in your experience.

Mental health; I say this unequivocally, we’ve all battled this.

Mental health and well-being is no longer a foreign concept to the general public. At the same time, it’s certainly not thrown into the conversation with regularity as many other of life’s challenges are. The idea of mental health is still largely perceived as an “I know someone that’s gone through some pretty tough issues but not me” type of thing.

That’s an expired paradigm that we need to shift.

Mental health is not anything that fits into a fixed parameter of definition. It’s a bunch of different things for a bunch of different people. It’s something that may affect one person that another shrugs off. It’s something that will elicit a certain response or emotion in one person whereby educe an entirely different reaction in another. It’s something that a person may be entirely cognizant to recognize within themselves or may go entirely neglected by another person. And, therein lies the immense challenge with mental health and well-being; it does not have one identity, it has seven billion.

We’ve all experienced mental challenge. I would vehemently argue that a person who struggles with confidence, who has a diminished sense of self worth, who feels unaccepted, who is challenged with receiving Love from others as well as Loving themselves, is not in a thriving place of mental health and well-being. Those who we typically deem to suffer from mental challenges are not reserved by the ability for clinical diagnosis. Just because there isn’t a fancy name from a text book to call what you’re battling, that doesn’t mean someone shouldn’t be caring about you; that doesn’t mean someone shouldn’t be helping you.

When we face the mental struggles that are a product of our perception of self, we usually just call this “life”. We’re having a few bad days or work is overly stressful or maybe we even feel a bit lost overall. And, we rely upon someone close to listen to us, to dry our tears or to hold us while we bide our time for it to pass, probably accompanied by a false “I’ll be fine” or a sweep under the proverbial rug.

Yes, there are individuals that suffer greatly from complex mental and emotional challenges that require psychological and medical attention and therapy by those that can provide it. But, for most of us, the mental and emotional challenges we face are just what’s happened to us in life; but, it doesn’t mean we don’t deserve the same.

Enough credibility toward how mentally and emotionally damaging “life” can be is not often given. But, it is very true and very real. An abusive relationship, a traumatic childhood experience, a continuing stressful environment, financial difficulties, social anxiety, occupational malcontent; the list could literally go on forever. These are all very common “life” experiences that impact our mental well-being immensely. Yet, because we don’t affix anything out of the ordinary toward these influences, we believe that we should navigate them as a part of our path through life. And, often, the pressures build, unaddressed, to a point where we find ourselves in a place that we have no solution to come back from.

Do not be lenient on the effect that “life” can have on your mental health. Do not push through with neglect toward your well-being. Listen to your Heart when you ask if you really are ok.

Rely upon other people. Reach out to family members, close friends, anyone you feel comfortable with. To speak, to listen, to know that you are not alone and that someone cares; because someone does care. And, if that distance of dependency and reliance is too close, there are individuals that devote their careers to helping others. There are numerous resources to turn to find the right kind of help for you.

Be accepting and forgiving of who you are. Allow yourself to know that mental and emotional challenges are not solved by pride or avoidance. Be compassionate toward yourself and others. There is nothing to judge other than how much Love you or someone else needs.

Mental health and well-being is something that no one is immune to. I know it’s not anything that a person should or could try to manage alone. I’ve relied upon special people in my life, counselling and online resources to help me understand what I could not on my own or pick me up when my own strength wasn’t enough. None of us are ever alone.

Be Love.

To learn more about mental health and well-being check out

https://www.betterhelp.com/start/

and

https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/therapy/

 

713 words and I may have not said a thing

Want to know what’s probably the most difficult thing in the world to do? Not even “probably”, come to think of it; it has to be the most difficult, actually. And, not because ‘it’ per se is difficult, it’s because everything else makes it difficult. Everything else around ‘it’ that’s not ‘it’ makes it difficult.

Want to know what’s the most difficult thing in the world to do?

Trust your Heart.

It was never meant to be, but it is. And, believe me, if I could explain exactly why, I’d be the first person I’d try to explain it to.

Our Heart is real, yet so much that is around us, is not. That’s not to say it’s good or bad, one way or another, it’s just not….real. Or, perhaps, not as real. And, I think that something we all desire to be, however deep down we’ve repressed it, is to be who we really are; to be real.

Sometimes, on occasion, I sit down in front of this keyboard and I know what I want to come out, but I don’t know how to get there. I search for the words, but stumble. I seek for the appropriate metaphor, but nothing. I try to relate or illustrate the idea by example, but come up empty. It doesn’t seem of merit enough to simply tell yourself or anyone else, “because that’s what’s in my Heart”. It’s a reason, but it’s not really a reason.

Perhaps that’s why it can be difficult to trust our Heart? Perhaps those instances whereby we can’t tangibly communicate what’s in there makes it seems the opposite of real, when it couldn’t be more? Maybe because we can’t translate a feeling into something of a lesser medium of communication, maybe it makes it seem as though we’re working from nothing more than a whim? And, a whim is the last thing anyone would ever want to trust.

Or, maybe fear has a lot to do with it? Maybe it’s because we’d trusted our Heart once, or twice, or three times and we were hurt? Maybe we trusted our Heart and were taken advantage of or cheated or abused? That would probably do it. That would probably, whether voluntary or not, condition our subconscious to abandon turning to the Heart for guidance.

And, you know, in turning away from the Heart for guidance, for self Love, we turn to everything that is not our Heart. We turn to the mind, we turn to what others think, we turn to what we should think, we turn to what others have done. We turn to all the things that can and will never be as real as our Heart. We turn to what we think is “best” as opposed to what the Heart knows is best.

I don’t think trusting your Heart means everything is going to be amazing. But, I think trusting our Heart is what makes us amazing.

As I type this, I can’t help but feel I’m saying little to nothing. Little to nothing because this is so much less about how to spell it out and so much more about what it feels like. It’s like looking up at that C-shaped crescent moon in the night sky and believing, trusting, what the universe holds. I’d have no easier of an endeavour putting pen to paper on that one in any overly convincing way other than to say, “you just have to trust the Universe”. I have no taller of soapbox to stand on other than to let myself trust what’s up there; what’s out there. No different than trusting what’s in here (pointing at chest where Heart is).

I trust my Heart. It’s hard to know it sometimes, to hear it sometimes, to listen to it sometimes, but I trust it. I know there’s no one way to do it other than to do it. And, to get up and try again. And, get up and try again. I know we’ve all tried those other things; we’ve tried to trust what our mind thought, what other people thought, what we thought we should have thought, and have still had to mend and rebuild. So, why not trust the one real place Love is?

Trust your Heart.

Be Love.

a mother’s Love

Long before I put ‘pen to paper’ on this, I knew that I would not have the words to express what a mother’s Love is. I knew that as much as I could not have the capacity to find the words that would give even the smallest amount credence to this Love, I am sure that it is, in fact, something that is not capable of being fit into words. It is not anything that can be captured into a static form of expression; not into words, not into a painting, not into song. If it could be, I would not be the one to do it. I could not be the one to do it. And so, this is not about what a mother’s Love is, this is about what it has been, and is, to me.

I am a lucky one. I have a mom to which the inexplicable definition of what a mother’s Love, belongs to. She is a mom who believes her existence to be solely for that of her children. She is here so that my brother and I can be here; is what she would tell you. And, although the expression from which that emanates is not always as poetically fluid as the notion of it suggests; ie, “are you eating enough?”, “are you getting to bed early?” that’s what a mother’s Love sometimes sounds like.

When I was younger, so too was my awareness. She was just, ‘my mom’; the mom I’d always known – giving me flak for staying out too late, for not getting along with my father and for listening to music too loudly. But, my mom has always been her. She has always embodied, in whatever complexion was fitting given the circumstance at the time, what it is to carry the fire of a mother’s Love.

As my path in life took a shape that found me acknowledging the concept of and believing in my own evolution, I realized that there is nothing that will stay the same unless chosen to be that way. This is active evolution; it is not something that just happens as you passively wait but that you must be a participant in. As my awareness grew and my consciousness expanded, so did my emotional quotient. I remember, many many years ago as I was about to move out, people had told me that my relationship would change with my parents. At the time, the infancy of my awareness, I was resistant to believe it because of how it had always been. I would never be ‘friends’ with my parents.

My relationship with my parents did change, more so with my mother than my pops. Which makes a bit of sense; put us four in a line up and you’ll have no trouble seeing that my father largely begat my brother and the majority of my blueprints come from mom. Thankfully, I’ll say too, she’s the better looking one. 🙂

As the years went on, I started speaking more with my mother; not just about what was “going on at work” or “what was new”, but about life. It wasn’t as though everything just one day was out on the table, but things started opening up a bit more (still a work in progress). It was never really part of my consciousness to see behind my mom’s super hero cape that there was a person no different from me; I didn’t have the emotional quotient, once upon a time. As we spoke more, I listened more. It wasn’t so much of what I heard her say; it was what I felt her say. I started to feel how any little thing that brought me down, tore her right down. I started to feel how any time I was stressed out or worn thin, she became an extension of that multiplied by eighteen, wanting nothing more than to take it from me and shoulder the burden herself. I realized that I was blessed with a mother that only needed one thing for her life to feel meaningful, complete, happy and fulfilled; that my brother and I had lives that were meaningful, complete, happy and fulfilled. And, to this day, she is still the same person that she has always been. Her evolution as a caring, giving, selfless mother was complete a long, long time ago; long before my evolution into this awareness ever began. For that, I am forever grateful. The difference now that I recognize this and I tell her.

My life has also been blessed with a parallel experience; one that I don’t think I could have ever expected – the unexpected, the calling card of the Universe, it seems. 🙂 I was fortunate enough to share a relationship with a woman that is also a mother, at a time where attention to my awareness, consciousness and evolution was ever-present in my life. To have the opportunity to be part of, experience and witness a mother’s Love from this place in a relationship was a greater expansion of my Heart.

It was an experience certainly different than what it is to be mother’s child; the only experience I had ever known. This new experience was being side by side with a partner that embodies this Love. It was the ability to observe it, to learn from it, to grow from it and to participate in it. I witnessed the strength and the beauty, the vulnerability and the pain behind this Love. Again, something I could never have the words, capacity or emotion to communicate; therein which lay the power of it. It would be like trying to explain the magnitude of the Universe; where would you even begin?

I feel fortunate to have had that been a part of my life. I believe it taught me something that would not have been possible had I, myself, also been a parent simultaneously. Of course, there is immense personal growth and evolution in being a parent; very different, as well, between that of a mother and a father. But this part of my life, the connection to that Love, has given me a special piece toward making my Heart bigger. Toward making my Love bigger. And for that, I am forever grateful.

As an ethereal embodiment on this plane of existence, we are all composed of a masculine and feminine energetic harmony within us. As a male physical representation of those masculine and feminine energies, I will never be able to experience, within me, what the Love of a mother is. It is something I can feel and experience inside of my Heart, but from that which is external from me; from that which I’ve tried to narrate with the words here. And, although there are words here, this Love is not about words. It’s not about what it sounds like or what it looks like, it’s exactly about the fire inside that only a mother can illuminate.

Happy Mother’s Day.

Be Love.

connect four….for your heart, your soul, your universe, for Love

Connection.

/kəˈnekSH(ə)n/ 1. a relationship in which a person, thing, or idea is linked or associated with something else. 2. to join, link, or fasten together; unite or bind

There was an idea, once upon a time, that I had about connection. That time wasn’t that long ago. But, it was a time, nonetheless, where I’d lived less of life than I have to this point. There goes the passage of time by which your life happens and that by which you happen upon life as time passes by. Connection has changed since the last time I thought I knew something about it. Did I learn? Yes. It is a way to explain it. Did I feel? Entirely. I wish there were the words to explain it.

It seems that connection, the time before now, may have been something I placed into a box. It was a certain something and it achieved a particular whatever it was. I thought I knew what it was all about back then, or maybe I just pretended to. Perhaps I knew a bit of something about it. It was as real then as it is now; that hasn’t changed. But, it seemed more malleable then. It could come and go, ebb and flow, be a yes or a no. I knew less back then. I’d felt less back then.

What I know now is not something I know from knowing, it’s something I know from feeling. It’s something that’s probably bigger than I ever thought it was. That’s not to say I had never thought it was something big, it’s just maybe not like this. And, as I reflect upon all that has been taught to me; all that I’ve awakened to; I wonder why it took me this long to understand something that makes the sense that it does. Perhaps better to be a slow learner than no learner at all? (the answer to that question is always ‘yes’).

There is the connection that resides in this physical plane; the one that comes and goes. It is the connection you may have with many or you may have with few. It’s a connection of commonality, of shared experiences, of voluntary and involuntary interaction and of dependence. It’s a connection you can have with family, friends, co-workers, acquaintances and the person you buy your coffee from every morning. This connection is not diminished by its definition and place. It’s a meaningful connection. There is learning in this space. It fills a need for your human-ness. It is an acknowledgement of physical presence, physical being and physical existence. It is a beautifully orchestrated composition of how, regardless of circumstance, position, belief system or demographic, we can find connection in one another.

Then there is a greater connection; a deeper connection. It is not of the same plane as that of the physical connections we experience. It is beyond that. It is not a connection you can or will establish around every corner you turn. And, although you may have known of this connection for forty years, four years or four weeks, your Heart and soul have known it forever. These connections are eternal. They have been created in your Universe and live upon the stars. You will know this connection because it won’t have a definition or an explanation. It will, undoubtedly, have a place within your physical being, as it must. A connection of the Heart and soul will also take space in the physical realm. But, of the connections we make in this place, only very few have residence in our Heart and soul; our Universe.

And so, I revisit my earlier statement; “I wish there were the words to explain it”. Maybe the words are there? Maybe they are the ones that speak about playing cards with your grandmother, or about that friend that can always lift your spirits no matter what? Or, maybe they are the words that speak about how your father would tuck you into his coat when it started raining outside or how your light never feels brighter than when you think of your children? Or, maybe the words are about the person you fall asleep thinking about and wake up with on your mind? Maybe these words are not really words at all but feelings from a bigger place that we want to make sense of? But, we don’t need to make sense of them. They are before us and they will be after us. They are your Heart, your soul, your Universe. There is evolution here. Opening up to the Love, the beauty, the fear and the pain – there is evolution there. Your evolution. The expansion of your greater being into those connections is You.

Be Love.

are you heart smart?

There is certainly no doubt surrounding the importance of mental health. In fact, although there is still a great distance of progress to be made as to the generally accepted view of how significant mental health is to our completeness as human beings, we’re getting there.

Something I believe that, not entirely ignored but, is undoubtedly lacking in presence to the conversation is that of emotional health.

The barometer of our overall well-being has always encompassed a long-standing position toward the maintenance of our physical health but is now making a positive shift to include our mental health, as well. Within that, or perhaps a third quotient on its own, I believe, is emotional health.

Because the concept of mental health, although infinitely important, being in its relative infancy with respect to its public acceptance and relevance, thought toward or even the acknowledgement of emotional health is far behind if not entirely non-existent altogether. But, it too, provides and plays such a significant role in how you perceive, interpret and navigate your reality.

Not unlike mental well being, our emotional health is predicated on how we process our feelings and the translation of those feelings through to our thoughts and actions. Our mental functioning is a direct product of concepts, experiences and beliefs that are held within our emotional field. And yet, although we understand and speak about our “feelings” when trying to steer through our mental maze, we simply only scratch the surface on how deep our emotions run and reflect outwardly from our thoughts.

The mind is a powerful ally and adversary all at once, but our heart is really the engine that makes us go; it is always on our side. It really is everything. Who we are, what we believe, how we act, are all personifications of what we translate from our heart with our mind. I, for a very long time, assumed that how I thought is what I felt. But, it’s the other way around; what we feel is how we think. Are thoughts and feelings and feelings and thoughts intertwined and, probably, inseparable? I’m sure I’d have to say ‘yes’ more than anything else. But, I also don’t believe we provide enough attention to what our feelings really say to us or where they come from. The greatest impacts I’ve ever experienced within my Self were all a product of my emotion; of what I felt. That from which translated into what I thought; thought about me, about my life, thought about the people near to me. Yet, as much as I thought I was addressing those emotions, was I? I’ve discovered that, although I paid great credence toward my heart, there was a blurred line where into my mind took over.

My life has taken me in a direction where I’ve labelled myself as a “feelings” person (get your Myers-Briggs type indicators out). And, I’ve thought that we are not all feelings type people. But, we are. We just don’t all choose to be. We feel, but we ignore. We feel, but we push away. We feel, but we internalize. We believe that just by “feeling”, maybe almost automatically or passively, that we’ve done our job of attending to that side of us. But, there’s more to it. There’s more questions to ask, more depth to embark on, more challenge to face. And, I think, that’s what holds us back; emotion is tough. It requires a lot from us to find the truth. We’re scared to learn what we might find; scared to learn what may surface about ourselves. But, emotional health and well being is not about the fear of what’s there, it’s about the healing that will come. And, it will take facing that. It will take your own resolve to make that choice.

It’s been part of my own process and my own evolution, to address these parts of myself introspectively and, pun intended, to get to the heart of what it is. It’s been a journey and not an easy one. But, I don’t view it as a difficult one, either. It just feels like it’s the journey of who I am. And, I’m certainly not done. I don’t think one would ever be done. Your heart has no boundaries and so why would you?

Be Love.

 

got ’em in a row?

I found church.

Two things; one – this is not about church. Two – I almost wrote, “again”.

I grew up in a rather religious household. It’s how my parents were raised; it’s how each of their parents was raised and so on. My “attendance” at church every Sunday wasn’t so much of a choice than it was just doing what I was told to do by the people who paid my rent to live in their house. Needful to say, I started failing the proverbial morning roll call right around the time that Saturday nights began making Sunday mornings a real tough endeavour.

This is not about church.

Not too long ago, on very short notice (the same morning, actually), a very close friend of mine invited me to church. I knew why the invitation had come and, very transparently, I knew I should accept. I was compelled, let’s call it. It’d been a long while since I’d been to such a place for other than a Christmas or a wedding. It wasn’t because I was against what it had to offer, it was because in between the time of living under my parents’ roof and about ten years ago, I developed conscious thought toward my own belief system, what it meant to me and how the choices I made in life lined up with who I was evolving into. “Church”, as I’d known it, wasn’t for me.

I almost wrote, “again”.

I found church, for the first time. Or, probably better put, I let it find me. The reason I don’t say “again” is because my first go-round with church wasn’t mine. And, that’s ok. Granted, the original reason for my near twenty year hiatus was a product of simply just not wanting to wake up on Sunday morning anymore; my prolonged absence was because church and religion just didn’t line up with what I believed in. And, I’ll call it what it was; it was boring. It didn’t feel like it supported what I wanted for myself and my evolution.

So, what’s this really about?

I go to church to now. Every Sunday morning. It’s pretty great, to be honest. I don’t think I would really call it church, though, as much as I would call it a get-together; a get-together of a bunch of people with really big hearts and no judgement. A community. I find apprehension in using terms like church and religion because of my own experience with them. I think, like me, it can close people off to possibility. I found myself in that seat for the first time, earlier this year, not because I was looking for church or religion, but because another piece of alignment with my true Self found me; because someone near and dear to me helped me find another piece of it.

That’s what this is about; finding those pieces. This “church” I go to, it’s a beautiful place filled with wonderful people, accepting of all, that are interested in the same things; kindness, compassion, helping one another and Love. It’s not about dogma and fear and the boring weekly pre-scripted narrative that I grew up with. The energy and vibration here lifts me to a better place. “Sunday best”, has taken on a new meaning for me. It’s not making sure my collared shirt is neatly pressed and my shoes are shined. “Sunday best”, is me just showing up with an open Heart, wearing jeans and a Snoopy sweatshirt, to a place that makes me a bigger person than I was before I got there. And, that’s how I leave that place; better than when I got there.

I’m grateful for what’s happened; I’ve learned. I’ve learned that I let my past define my present and my future. Had I not accepted that invitation and resorted to falling back on what I thought I knew about “church”, sticking to my guns, sticking to what had been my experience, I would have never let this find me.

It’s about alignment; it’s about opening yourself up to possibility, even if you think you know everything about whatever it is. Trust me, you don’t. And hey, do I agree with every message or belief that gets passed along at this place? I don’t. But, that’s also been another valuable lesson I’ve learned. You don’t have to agree with everything or have everything in common with or aspire to exactly the same goal or objective to experience alignment with your Self. Alignment is not about commonalities or same past experiences, it’s about vibration and energy. Often, we gravitate toward the facets of life that we feel mirror us the best. Whether it’s friends, romantic partners, activities, an occupation; we try to draw towards us what we know. It’s because of the comfort in that idea and, more prominently, the fear of what we don’t know. But, how do you further your evolution, further your growth, by surrounding yourself with the same thing over and over, again? Well, you probably don’t. You probably just continue to get what you’ve always gotten. And, unless that’s working for you, maybe it’s time to do something different? Even if it means looking at something old through a fresh lens, as has been the case with me and my new Sunday meeting place.

When we try to line up the ducks before we even begin, we miss out. We miss out on challenge; we miss out on expanding our Universe; we miss out on evolution; and, we miss out on lifting our energy. For years I’d told myself that church doesn’t line up for me. For all intents and purposes, I’d been done with it. But then, my circumstance called this to me and I accepted. Without truly knowing it at the time, it was my energy and vibration, or perhaps lack thereof, which brought me to this. And now, for at least one hour of each week, I’m choosing to put myself in a better place.

There’s nothing being sold to me nor am I selling you anything other than what’s already inside of you. We’re all meant to lift ourselves as high as we can go. Sometimes that means pulling up our socks and doing it ourselves, sometimes it means allowing others to help us do it and sometimes it just means doing something different even it seems the same. Your alignment and energy will lead you in the right direction.

Quack.

Be Love.

if that picture doesn’t make you smile, i can’t help you. :)

You don’t just ‘be happy’, you choose happy.

Makes sense, doesn’t it? You don’t really just ‘be’ anything, do you? You don’t just ‘be’ strong. You don’t just ‘be’ well organized. You don’t just ‘be’ an astronaut. You have to choose the actions that are commensurate with the goal. You choose to go to the gym. You choose to be conscientious and tidy. You choose to go into outer space. Aside from humanness, ‘being’ anything doesn’t just happen (and, even the human being thing is a stretch for some people). 🙂

You choose happy. How? By making decisions in your life that lead to happiness. You choose joy; you choose fun; you choose uplifting people to spend time with; you choose hugs; you choose peace. You’ll never be able to choose everything in life that you get. But, you get to choose how you respond and you make the decisions that support your happiness. And hey, are you going to be happy all the time? Maybe! But, probably not. That’s what human being is about. The question is really about how you’re supporting happiness in your life.

We all go through tough times. We need those times. Great learning and personal evolution come from those times. When we reach beyond adversity to find the other side, we call upon our greater self to challenge who we are and who we want to be. That is growth. That is evolution. But, there also comes the time, past adversity, past the tough time, when we find further growth by choosing to elevate our Self. It’s as though you bump yourself up a notch and create a new baseline of Self; a new baseline of happiness that has traversed and triumphed over the former. You make that choice.

I know it’s easy to say you’re not happy, for any variety of reasons. But, I challenge anyone wholeheartedly that truly believes they’ve never experienced joy, or had fun, or appreciated the company of a loved one, or felt safe in a hug. That’s the stuff that leads to happiness. Doing those things over and over and over, again. Find the resources in your life to create the opportunities that create those feelings and emotions. The more time you spend in those places, the easier it becomes for your baseline to mirror that; to elevate there. You’ll forget what it feels like to be lower. You’ll forget what it feels like to be discouraged. You’ll forget what it feels like to lack value in who you are. When you spend more time in places that lead to happiness, you take the strain off of your mind to remember what it’s like. You remove the distance between the two points. You live there, together. Through, probably some not great times sure, but surrounded by happiness way more of the time. Surrounded by support, by strength, and yes, Love. These building blocks construct themselves upon each other; they’re dependent upon each other. You don’t work toward one to, only then, work toward the next. You let them work all together; that’s where the true power is. Everyone pulls the rope at the same time. If the first person pulled with all their might, then stopped so that the second person could pull with all their might and stopped to let the next person pull and the next and the next, down to the end, everyone would end up in the mud before they knew it. You pull at all these things together.

Get basic. Read something inspirational. Watch something heartwarming. Give a hug. Ask for a hug. Lay under the stars. Stop and smell the roses. Eat chocolate. Tell someone they’re beautiful. Tell yourself you’re beautiful. Pick up the telephone, dial a number and say, “I Love you”.

I promise, you get to choose all of these things.

Choose happy. Choose Love.

 

Be Love.

Listen to something fun.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8dGp8F7CHEY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ru0K8uYEZWw