james jaworsky

Published: 308 articles

it’s the sweetest

I’m a little embarrassed by this one. Like the, “it was so obvious, I can’t believe it took me this long to figure it out” type of embarrassed. I’ll explain.

Be Yourself

A timeless idiom if there ever was one. And, rightfully so. It’s good advice. It’s sound, it’s sage, it’s steadfast. It’s great advice, really. I’m sure only but a certain person would truly argue against that bit of elementary wisdom. That being said, I’m also sure that the concept of being oneself strikes a bit of fear in the minds of many.

We do what we do and say what we say for two reasons; to achieve a desired result or to avoid a potential consequence. At its most fundamental level, that’s the basis for our interaction with others. The idea to “be yourself” isn’t easy on the uptake for a lot of people for reasons being rather evident. A fair guess would probably say that a good majority of people aren’t overwhelmingly comfortable with who they really truly are. It’s something I figure to be a collectively disguised individual perception of how we believe we’ll be accepted, or not, by others. By that I mean, most us are scared to really be who we are because we have the same belief that, by being who we truly are, we won’t attain whatever desired result we want or avoid whatever potential consequence we wish to steer clear of.

The result; we’re not ourselves. We do things we ordinarily wouldn’t do. We say things that really don’t reflect our true thoughts or intuition. We, sort of, show a bit of who we are but not really the whole picture. We try to offer what we think the other person wants to see. But, I get it. I get why we do it and I do it myself. It simply speaks to the fact of not being fully confident and comfortable with what’s in our Heart. It’s a condition we’ve all been subject to. It’s why I qualify it as a collective perception. We all think the same thing about the same thing. It’s like being in a group meeting where everyone is nervous to be the first person to speak and share for fear of being different. But, once that brave soul breaks the silence, each other person sees their connection to the group. The perception of difference, then, dissolves.

This isn’t about the psychology of becoming comfortable with who you really are. This is about the overwhelming reason of why you should “be yourself”. This is the why “I’m a little embarrassed….” part. The reason you should “be yourself” is because that’s what the universe wants from you. That’s it. I’m a “universe” person. I believe that the universe can and will provide anything that a person truly desires to be the person they were meant to be. The only hook is that the person is aware of the alignment to that concept.

Being who you truly are is a relative concept in that we’re not all at the same place in our respective Hearts. Now, there is no Heart that has a greater capacity for Love or compassion or forgiveness than the next. But, there is difference in the willingness to show it. To live it. And, for reason of the idea to “be yourself”, that’s ok. It’s ok because you can only offer as much as you have an awareness to give.

Here’s the idea; if what you’re putting out there really isn’t the best of what you have in your Heart and you know it, you’re not going to get the best in return. It’s why when we try to adapt our actions or tailor our words in hopes of achieving the desired result or avoiding the unwanted consequence, we often don’t. And, you know it. You feel it. You don’t feel right about who the person it is that you’re trying to be at that moment because it’s not really you. You’re not lining up with where your universe thinks you should be.

Now, there’s a bit of a converse to this, as well. If what you’re putting out there IS the best of what you have in your Heart but is still kind of shitty, that too will still be what you get in return. The difference, though, is that the collaboration you have with the universe to attain what it truly is you should have in your life will just take a bit longer. It won’t be the most direct path, is what it means. That’s evolution. We all experience evolution, just not at the same rate of progression.

The universe knows what we all want, even if we don’t. It’s just Love. We are part of the grid that connections our universe, our Heart, our true self and Love. We’re the ones that provide the strength of connection to that grid. We control our signal. When we’re not truly in our Heart, that signal is weak. That’s when the universe is working harder than it should to be able to help you out. When you truly agree to “be yourself”, your signal comes through loud and clear. It doesn’t mean what you desire or manifest will immediately appear right before you in an instant but it does means that you’ve chosen the path of least resistance.

And, for as much as can be written about this phenomenon, for as much as can be read about this phenomenon; we all simply feel it. We have all felt it. We all know what it feels like to deny what’s really inside of us, that is, when what we’re denying truly is from the Heart. Yet, we’ve still done it and will continue to do so. It’s ok. It’s part of the learning and the evolution. The universe will never give up on giving you everything. It just wants you to choose what’s in your Heart. It just wants you to choose to “be yourself”.

Be Love.

and no, recycling isn’t the answer, either

Being in your Heart is work. I want to say it’s not; I want to think it’s not; I want to believe it’s not. But, I can’t.

Work isn’t a bad thing, but it’s not an easy thing. I can reasonably estimate that work is certainly not perceived as the path of least resistance. And, what most of us opt for when the going gets tough is the easy road. Especially when it comes to matters of the Heart.

Why is the Heart so special? Because it’s real. It’s really real. Naturally, when something possesses the ability to be the absolute most beautiful thing there is, the risk is also run that it carries the converse. And, when it really gets real is when it forces us to look at who we are. Or, realize who someone else is. When we don’t like what we see, real becomes reality.

Challenges to our Heart become very apparent. Do I believe that the Heart has a capability and power like nothing else? Yes, I do. Unequivocally. I believe it can change the world. I believe it has changed the world. It certainly has changed mine. And, the thing is, when it’s good, it’s good. There’s no challenge. We don’t take notice because the alignment is calm. There is no storm until there’s a storm.

When the storm comes, the alignment is not there anymore. Life all of a sudden becomes real. The challenges to our Heart become real. When alignment becomes misalignment, the universe forces us to take notice. It is when the work begins. And, with the work comes the reality. As soon as we start putting in the effort to correct misalignment, it forces us to identify the reason for it – you can’t find a solution until you really know what the problem is. The problem with problems is that we don’t like them. They can be ugly. They can be harsh. They can be debilitating. And, perhaps worst of all, they can be true.

Truth always possesses the opportunity to be its opposite. Call it what suits you; untruth, dishonesty, lies. They are ever present. We tell them to other people, we tell them to ourselves. The truth is tough to face. And, the more we don’t do it, the easier it becomes not to. That’s why being in your Heart is work. It means running the full spectrum of reality through your life, your emotions and your being. It’s not about picking and choosing what suits your level of courage.

The deception of reality is that which lies with its creator. I’ll be the first to encourage that we each create our universe and our reality. But, I also know that it means we are either choosing Love or choosing garbage. It doesn’t mean that by choosing garbage, because you can’t process and embrace Love, you’ve created a great universe for yourself. It just means you’ll reap what you sow. Choosing garbage is misalignment. You will feel it. And, you will feel it more. And, you will feel it until you don’t feel it any longer. And, if you haven’t put in the work to find alignment and the reason you don’t feel it anymore is because you don’t know any different, you’ve become numb to it or you’ve lived in the untruth long enough; well, you’ve created a reality that doesn’t have the support of your Heart. Of Love.

That’s why being in your Heart is work; it means taking out the garbage. Not piling more on top of it until you’ve become desensitized to it. The uphill climb is not really the work, actually. It’s believing that the payoff, Love, is worth it. It’s when, at your lowest, you can still believe that Love is worth all of it and to face whatever truth you’re living. There is nothing that’s more real than Love. There is nothing more true than Love.

Be Love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Love, in twenty seconds or less

“You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And, I promise you, something great will come of it”.

We Bought a Zoo

I like that movie.

It may not seem like it, but it’s all about Love. All kinds of Love; past Love, new Love, misguided Love, misunderstood Love, compassionate Love, Love for all living things, selfish Love, selfless Love, self Love. They’re all there. It’s like the entire biography of Love in an average person’s life painted across a half dozen sub-plots in a movie about a family that buys a zoo.

And, it’s personified with one virtue, courage.

Courage is derived from the root word cor; Latin for Heart. In its earliest form, courage meant to “speak one’s mind by telling all one’s Heart”.

We experience many different Loves throughout the course of our adventure in life. Not people as Loves, but Loves that call upon different parts of us. Parts of us to give, parts of us to receive, parts of us to learn about and parts of us to evolve. Whether we can put our thumb exactly on when or where each of them came be or which have not yet crossed our path, is not so much important. Whether we attach a value of “success” or “failure” to these Loves, again, not what is significant. What it’s about, is courage. It’s about the old paradigm of what courage is supposed to be; “all one’s Heart”.

Emotion has a way of falsely imprisoning our thoughts. It’s not Love that does it, it’s fear. It’s the unwillingness to demonstrate and, simply, be courageous. It is the unwillingness to be of all one’s Heart that creates our unseen prison. The fear to find the twenty seconds to be completely and entirely vulnerable is actually what restricts us from finding our strength.

I think about the lost potential for Love; the lost potential for Love because of a lack of courage. And, it’s true; all it wants from us is twenty seconds or, usually, less. The trade off is a brief moment in time for what could be, what would be, a life of Love and presence in your Heart.

It takes but just a moment to tell someone you Love them. Or, a few seconds to abandon your pride and speak with whoever you’re not on speaking terms with. It takes those same few seconds to truly admit to yourself what you need to do better in your life for you. Saying “I’m sorry” is less than a twenty second endeavour. Offering forgiveness and compassion might seem like it would take a long time, but the actual decision to do so doesn’t. Choosing to open your Heart up to the one you Love can happen in an instant.

Courage just asks for one thing; for you to have faith in it. When you do something for the right reason, the right outcome will happen. I know that many an argument can be made that will say, “well, if I say this or do that, I don’t know what will happen. It’ll take me way longer than twenty seconds to navigate through the rest of it”. And, that can certainly be true, but that’s not what courage is asking you to do. Courage doesn’t worry about what comes next because it knows when something comes from the good of the Heart, something good will come to the Heart. As soon as we start introducing any thought that isn’t that, fear starts to take over. That’s why it only takes twenty seconds. It only takes twenty seconds to tell yourself that your Heart wants something good, something beautiful.

Think about trading twenty seconds to get twenty days, or twenty months, or twenty years. Twenty seconds of courage from the Heart and of the Heart will, actually, get you a lifetime of Love, every time. The more of that kind of courage that you find, the more Love finds you.

Be Love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

beauty and the broken

 

We’re all broken.

Broken is real. It can be confusing. It can be misunderstood. And, it can be simply debilitating.

There’s no instruction manual for broken; it’s not as though we get put back together again as if we’d never come apart. By the time most of us even notice the pieces of our wreckage, chances are that all of them won’t even be there to put back together. It’s as though we don’t recognize what used to be us.

I am broken. There is nothing of me that it too embarrassed or too proud to admit that. It is a statement of truth; a virtue that is a part of who I choose to be. I know that I’m not alone; a fact I am aware of. What becomes blurry, sometimes, is the way we feel that we are alone when we are in this place.

Broken is a heavy burden to carry. It’s an easy spot to get stuck in; it feels like we have no power over it, begins to almost be comfortable, we develop an identity to it, our physiological, mental and emotional pathways become hardwired into it. We become it. We know broken by rote.

I don’t feel inclined to lecture that the shitty things that happen to us “happen for us” or are “a blessing in disguise”; an opportunity to rise above and “test your mettle” or that you get to choose if it’s “good” or “bad”. Crummy things happen to us in life; it is life. Life is also about what you’re going to put back into it. Stasis won’t work. I know, for sure, that doing nothing will get you exactly nothing.

Getting unbroken means two things; leaning on the right people and letting Love in. I know that I am fortunate to have the right people in my life. And, I suppose to be fair to myself, I’ve brought those people into my life; I’ve accepted those people into my life. I have learned the value of support and strength and genuine people with sincere hearts that believe in what I believe in.

Ever heard the saying, “if you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room”? Well, I’m not the smartest person in the room. The people I lean on lift me up. They hold me accountable and challenge my choices, and they do it with Love. They extend their reach to bring me up to where I need to be rather than come down to where I am. Leaning on the right people that are at a higher vibrational frequency than you will help you find the right part of yourself to lean on; that’s where you find your own strength. It’s Law of Attraction 101. And, to be honest, sometimes I don’t even know the people I lean on. I’ve never met them. They write books or post videos on YouTube. They teach me that I get to decide if I’m a victim or not. They show me that I can give power to an idea that pulls me down or that I can give that power to myself, where it serves me. Not where I serve it. It’s being really honest with yourself. Above all, I know that although the decision to be unbroken must be made on my own, there is only so much that I can do on my own.

And, Love? “I am broken. I don’t deserve Love. How could I?” You would never tell anyone, no matter what has happened or what they’ve done, that they don’t deserve Love. Yet, we believe it of ourselves. You will always deserve Love. You. Will. Always. Deserve. Love. Sometimes, it just takes asking the right person, “can you Love me?” The right person will. Unconditionally. The right person will show you how to Love yourself.

Kintsugi is an ancient Japanese practice of repairing broken ceramics using a special lacquer mixed with gold; the essence of which is to visibly acknowledge and incorporate the beauty of the repair into the new piece instead of disguising or hiding it. The brokenness is what makes it whole again.

Nothing of beauty that is broken will ever be reconstructed into its former self. It becomes something new. Something still good. Something still beautiful. Love is what fills our cracks and fissures. Love is the gold that binds our pieces together not to mask who we are but to give us our shimmer. To show that we were once that, capable and deserving of everything but we are now this, still capable and deserving of everything. We are still who we were made to be. The beauty and the brokenness.

Be Love.

breathe in the light

We search for what is but a stone’s throw away.

Stones we cast that break the glass we can’t bear to look through. Eyes that reflect blindness.

The stillness is where all is seen without seeing. There, it is calm. There, it is 
peace. Where the trees topple the storm.

It will never be a matter of if, but when. It never was a matter of if. Always when.

When the moon shone brighter than the sun, illuminating the darkest sky. 
Every star, a point in time, each eternal.

More eternal than even what the Universe knew. From the beginning to the end, 
where they met. Never actually separate. Never actually apart.

Universe after Universe after Universe; not even time knew how many. Never wasted 
when kept watch over by the Heart. Never lost when held by the Heart.

There was only one constant that bound them all. There was only one constant that 
could unravel them all. It was a cosmic prison of infinite expanse.

The constant. The true immeasurable measure of all that traversed all. 
Silently. Deafeningly. Unheard. Unspoken.

Resolute in purpose. Unwavering in contest. It would wait, patiently, gently, 
as each star was turned out. It would return the stillness to the divine cosmos. 
It would return the stillness to the dark. It would breathe in the light.

It would be.

Love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

who’s in your starting line up?

There’s a bit of cosmic wisdom floating about hypothesizing that you are, more or less, the average of the five people you interact with most. Whether it’s family, your partner, a friend or a co-worker, it’s the five people you spend time with, seek advice from, cultivate ideas together, go to help for, share your personal life with and all the things in between. In effect, your human environment.

As malleable beings, we are shaped by our surroundings be it physical, emotional, mental or ethereal. If you’re outside in the dead of winter without a coat, you’ll probably get cold. If you’re at the library picking out a book to read, you’ll probably be more quiet than if you were picking strawberries. If you’re at rock concert, you’ll probably be jumping around or, at the least, tapping your foot. If you’re attending a funeral service, your mood will most likely be sombre and earnest. And, if you’re meditating with a bunch of like-minded people, you’ll probably feel a higher energy than if you were alone in your dining room.

We are, on varying levels of influence, readily conditioned, driven by emotion and subconsciously patterned in our own thinking and responses to the various experiences and connections we encounter in our lives. That is to say, sometimes we know exactly what a situation or how a person influences and impacts us and sometimes we have no clue.

And so, what does it all mean? Think of the five people you’ve drawn yourself closest to or have drawn themselves closest to you. Who are they to you? What do they stand for? What do they believe in? What do they aspire toward whether it be physically, emotionally, mentally or spiritually? And, the biggest question of them all; are those people a reflection of who you really feel you are or want to be? Think law of attraction stuff here.

It goes without saying that we all feel a need for acceptance. We feel a need for validation. We feel a need for connection. And, ultimately, we feel a need for Love. These are largely the motivation behind the relationships we seek and maintain.

The “five people” hypothesis doesn’t definitively dictate that we are exactly who we share our time with. But, the idea has more than enough merit to garner sincere consideration. Let’s say you’re a regularly active person. Who is the most likely to give you that extra push toward a workout on a sluggish day; a partner that also stays physically active or a Netflix binge watcher? Is your closest friend at work a chronic complainer with no desire to find actual solutions? Do their qualms “encourage” you chip in your own two cents because either, they’ve triggered something in your own mind that frustrated you or you want to offer your friend a feeling of acceptance that they’re not alone? At the least, you may just sit there in silence and absorb their negativity. And really, does any of that sound constructive for you?

What about your social circle? Do they just slander whichever friends couldn’t make it that night or act obnoxious and just wait for one person to stop talking so the next person can? Do they rant about their husbands or their wives? It happens. Probably more often than anyone would like to acknowledge. Those environments fuel our conscious and our subconscious regardless of how much individual fortitude we believe we possess.

I think of my own social activities. I like to have a beer or two and talk about sports with the guys. But, I like speaking about the Universe more. I like speaking with people that like it, too. The people that have open hearts to share about what they’re going through in life; their challenges, their triumphs, the thought provoking ideas that pop into their heads. So, I hang out with those people more. I still go for beers and sports, but I go for the Universe stuff more.

I like spending time with people that hug hello and hug goodbye. I like spending time with people that look to communication as a way to help themselves through tough times or as a method of coping with the things they can’t figure out on their own. I like hanging out with people that partake in alcohol, or the like, to have fun, not to escape life. And, I like to hang out with people that kindly and compassionately, but firmly, call me out when I need to be called out.

In no way is this an edict (not that I have any authority) to abandon all the people you have in your life that complain or don’t exercise or haven’t ever meditated or like to drink beer. But, what balance do you have in your relationships? Are you growing more than you’re regressing? Does it feel like you’re standing still? Do you have the support and encouragement you really need? Do you really have people that want to see you thrive and want to shine with you or just passers-by on your highway of life? There’s a constructive way about all of the aforementioned. But, the thing is that in this instance, it’s definitely a “it takes two to tango” thing.

And so, maybe there’s some distance you need to create between yourself and some people and some distances you should shorten? Maybe there are some tough conversations you need to have with the people you really want in your life and the people you don’t want in your life? Maybe you need a different place to work with people searching for solutions or to join a different softball team with people most interested in just having fun? You have the ability to orchestrate your environment as a product of who you aspire to be rather than be the product of your environment. But, it takes awareness. It takes courage. And, it takes the support of the right people for you.

That, is self Love.

Be Love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

how are you moving?….

We don’t do enough that moves us.

Human life is about feeling and we are desensitizing ourselves to that identity; at least, from the perspective of truly feeling something within that is connected to our natural being. Sure we feel; we feel stressed, we feel angry, we feel entitled, we feel instant gratification, we feel false need, we feel victimized, we feel a lot of these feelings. But, what of those? What do those feelings illicit in a person? When I recount my own experience in those spaces, I find little awareness, evolution or connection to who I really am nor a great ability to clear that fog from those situations because of the vibration those emotions and intentions resonate at. In the absence of a more eloquent categorization, those are the experiences that don’t move us. Those are the experiences that keep us stuck. Those are the spaces we spend a lot of time in.

And now, while both the ups and downs are how we learn and evolve in our life, I don’t know if I would necessarily qualify any of the aforementioned as great teachers. Why? Because of the motivation behind them. It seems odd that one would have a motivation behind any of those seemingly not-so-great feelings, but we do. Our motivation is tied to the feeling is tied to the result; a low vibration. Ever feel sorry for yourself? Ever tell someone why you feel sorry for yourself but you frame it a way that makes you the victim of those feelings? Ever feel ‘better’ when the someone supports that you should feel that way? That’s what I’m talking about. That’s the low vibration we attract over and over again that we learn little to nothing from because it’s rooted in a self-prophesized dismal fulfillment that we lose the real lesson in. The reward to our misdirected motivation and crummy feeling, is confirmation of our low vibration. It’s like we were ‘right’. And, human beings like to be ‘right’ regardless of what it proves or doesn’t prove.

The great teachers of our life are the experiences whereby our intention is rooted in being ‘more’. When you approach an experience in life with an intention that is of a higher frequency, you inherently bring to you more that lifts you up rather than pulls you down. You bring more clarity to your situation whether it’s good or not-so-good. The likelihood of experiencing compassion, empathy, understanding, patience, peace and Love increases exponentially if what you’re doing, what you’re shooting for, has an underlying foundation of that.

I think about that stuff that moves me. I think about the things that my make Heart feel really big or make me invincible, even if just for a second. I think about the things that fill my eyes up with tears not because of sadness but because of beauty; and to be honest, sometimes there is sadness in that beauty. I think about being vulnerable. I think about communicating tough things. I think about who my Heart is telling me that I really am. These are all spaces that have the great potential to move us; to move us to a higher place. To expand how we perceive life, how we receive life and, ultimately, how much Love we’re willing to be a part of.

Choose to experience life in ways that move you – volunteer, read something beautiful, think of someone earnestly, be honest with your Heart, sit in the forest by yourself, stare at the midnight stars – connect with who you really are. Connect yourself to people that support who you really are because they’re trying to support who they really are. It will bring you the joy, peace, happiness and Love you are supposed to have, not the other junk we’ve lost our focus in. Choosing those experiences are not tough. What’s tough is that we’ve become so used to the converse, that we probably don’t know where to look anymore. So, stop looking. Just feel more. Like, really feel. Be vulnerable, be open, be willing to learn and shift your life. Ask the universe what direction you need to go in. With an open Heart, ask what you should do. The answer is waiting for you, don’t wait for it.

Be Love.

what you plant will grow

We all just want one thing. It’s Love. Sometimes, the most obvious can be the most insightful.

The inference I’ve made is one I know with certainty. To which one may ask, what authority is it that I possess to make such a claim with such certainty. A fair question. My answer; my life. My authority is my life.

I think that we think we want a lot of things for ourselves in this lifetime. We strive for those things. We set goals. We make plans. We aim to achieve the things we want. And, achieve, we do. We feel accomplished, we feel proud, we feel we’ve done something important; another milestone reached. All of which I support. I encourage goals and endeavours. I applaud accomplishments and achievements. This is certainly not a diatribe to shit on any of it.

By all means, accumulate all that you feel will bring fulfilment to your life. Enjoyment, satisfaction, success; these are real emotions that we’ve been empowered with to experience life in many diverse ways. None of it is ‘bad’, as much as how none of it is really ‘good’. This is not a condemnation of worldly ventures.

Nor is it a renouncement of the emotions that make us feel seen and heard; acceptance, respect, consideration, thoughtfulness, recognition, appreciation; the list can continue on to the stars. This is not a denunciation that we shouldn’t seek the things that make us feel human. After all, we are just that; human. Yes, just that, but not only that.

When I speak about the idea of how we all just want Love, I speak from a place of experience. The experience of my life; the goals, the accomplishments, the career, material items, acceptance, respect, accolades, all of it. Yet, here I am still. Speaking of what’s bigger than any of it. Love.

I write this because of how much Love moves me; because of how much it’s moved me. There is no replacement for Love. There is nothing more meaningful than to give Love and to receive Love. To argue otherwise, in this direction, would fall on deaf ears. We seemingly place almost everything ahead of this goal; of making Love a goal. We think it just happens and it’s the rest of life that needs our time, effort and energy. When we expend our resources, though, attaining what we view as fulfilment, why is it still that there is a pull toward something more? Or, an emptiness that we thought we’d filled? Love is what needs our time, effort and energy. All of it. From it all else follows.

We don’t perceive Love as an actionable goal. But, it is. Self Love, devoting your Love to another, being able to receive Love; these are all endeavours that come to be by dedicating ourselves to that goal. Our direction is opposite; we need this first, or to attain that first. Or, once we get our insecurity harboured or our fear quelled, then we’ll open up. We seek security and safety ahead of true, heartfelt Love. And often, amidst all of how we think we are establishing a place to plant and grow Love, we wonder why we can’t find Love. It’s because we’re looking for everything except It.

We all do really want one thing; it’s not a question. It can’t be because you’re not here for any other reason. I am confident that if you haven’t reached this place in your experience yet, you will. You will take stock of what you have and if real Love isn’t there, you will feel that absence. It is that absence that will make all else obsolete in your life. It really is beautiful, actually, to awaken to this. You are here for one reason; Love. Tto give, to receive, to feel. To

Be Love.

ok, ok….I hear you?

My dad has taught me a bunch of things; how to change the brakes on my truck, the way to replace a toilet, understanding the inner workings of caring for a home and, basically, that I can figure out most anything that I could pay someone to do for me (and if I needed some obscure tool to do whatever it was, it was probably in the garage).

My father grew up in a circumstance that required resourcefulness above anything else. There wasn’t much to go around other than to be hard working and make due the best way possible. The experience and challenges he lived through in his formative years, shaped the way he would bring of himself to his family; to provide for us as best as he could regardless of the work it took of him so that we wouldn’t experience, first hand, what he did. As he worked and worked and worked to give us the things he went without growing up, he also focused on empowering my brother and I with a mentality that helped us believe we were smart enough and capable enough to learn how to do anything and to not be dependent upon others. To him, like many, knowledge is power. But, even further to that, he knew that being confident in yourself to find the knowledge and use that knowledge, was even greater power.

As a fully functioning and contributing adult (although, I’m sure still a smart mouth eighteen year old in his eyes), there’s not really much teaching going on anymore. Sure, he’s there to help in a moment’s notice or answer a question about hot water tanks or thermostats, but I figure he recognizes my brother and I are running our own lives and we’re doing ok. Not to mention, he’s been there for us more times than anyone could ever expect; even when I was a smart mouth eighteen year old. He’s done his part.

And yet, much to my surprise and I’m sure without him even knowing, he recently taught me one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in quite some time; when true emotion is felt, people communicate the best way they know possible and it is real and sincere.

A little while ago, my dad and I had a moment. Not a warm, feely moment, but the other kind. As said moment was unfolding, my awareness could see what was about to happen and I responded in a manner I’d never done before when going toe-to-toe with him. I felt positive and, more importantly, at peace with how I handled things. And, save the details, for all intents and purposes, I was probably due an apology. But, if history was any sort of predictor of the future, I knew there wasn’t one coming.

Not too long thereafter, at a family event, as I was saying goodbye to both he and my mom, he said something to me as I hugged him. It took me about a day to finally realize and say, “oh shit! That was his apology”, but I said, “Oh shit! That was his apology”.

What he said doesn’t matter and, in truth, it wasn’t anything that will forever go down in poetic lore. I didn’t realize at the time it was happening, but what he said was all he had the capacity to use as communication to convey what he felt. It was all he had the ability or the confidence or the courage, or whatever, to say to me to offer as reconciliation to what had happened the week prior. The thing is, because I know my father, because I know how he grew up, because I know where he came from, because I know how he works, I realized that it wasn’t for me to expect more from him. It was my responsibility to understand what he was trying to say. It was my responsibility to translate his communication because he, himself, could not translate it. He could not translate it from what it felt like in his Heart to what it should sound like with his voice. But, it was real and it was sincere.

And so, I am empowered with a new perspective toward receiving communication. I am empowered with not just hearing or not hearing the words I might expect to hear from someone, but to understand and interpret and feel what is being put out there. We all don’t communicate the same. We all don’t have the same experiences. We all don’t have the same ability to convey what’s really in our Heart to translate in a way that reflects that. I’ve learned that there’s more to just hearing and listening, there’s feeling. We feel what we feel, we say what we feel and we feel what we say. But, how often do we feel what someone else is saying or even not saying? And, I don’t mean us feeling what it is, but feeling it as though we were them. That is what feeling someone else’s Heart is. That is truly opening your own Heart to theirs. That is connection. That is compassion.

Thanks, Dad. You’ve done more than I, myself, may ever have the words to express.

Be Love.

space, the final frontier

Sorry. This isn’t about Star Trek.

There’s only so much you can effectively manage at any one point in time. And, whatever you believe the amount to be that you can manage effectively, it’s actually much less.

The plain and simple of it is that we’ve got too much stuff going on in our lives. On every level. We need to make space.

We do too much. We want too much. We own too much. We think too much. We worry too much. We everything too much. Making space focuses on lightening your life; lightening that which takes you away from you.

Space allows for two things to happen; old, stagnant energy to vacate and new, fresh energy to enter. Making space doesn’t mean you get rid of everything that is old or doesn’t serve you how it used to or whatever it may be. Making space is about challenging what you really need in your life from what seems like the most inconsequential to the stuff you don’t know where to begin to deal with.

There will certainly be things you will identify that you can do without, materially speaking. But I caution, don’t be tricked by things that seem like they don’t take up much room or get in the way. If it doesn’t serve you, be rid of it. Perhaps there is opportunity for someone else to make use of what you can’t? Above all, it releases dormant energy that has taken up residence in your environment. The importance being, again, move things out to open it up to something new. Or, better still, leave it free. Leave it to be an open abode that does not need to filled with anything. What feels better? A closet or a garage that’s bursting at the seams or one that’s open and easy to navigate?

What about the seemingly silly stuff we see on a daily basis? How inundated is your inbox? Have you given out your email address to every store in the mall to get their “deal of the week” notice to buy more shit you really don’t need? Unsubsribe. How many accounts do you follow on Instagram? If it doesn’t make you laugh, provide insight or keep in touch with someone you really want to keep in touch with, unfollow. Same with Facebook. Hey, there’s a lot of great social media out there, but really choose what enriches your life. Otherwise, it’s clutter. Electronic clutter.

What about your schedule. Are you effective and efficient in your daily administrative tasks of life? Do you say, “yes” to everything? Do you go here and there to please everyone but yourself? Are the things you’re doing really serving you or just autopilot stuff? Sometimes, the biggest help one can give themselves is to simply sit down and actually evaluate how things are being done. There’s always a better way.

And finally, although the list could literally be endless, I leave with this; make space within yourself. Make space within your Heart and mind of that which you’ve been carrying that is too heavy to carry any further. We all have our challenges and our burdens, but that doesn’t mean they are just to be our own. Share your story and your pain with someone that truly cares about you. Share it with someone that wants to help clear it from your life. Or, perhaps seek out a counselor or someone in a professional field. Freeing yourself from the heaviness that you carry in your Heart and mind, will be the biggest creator of space in your life. This is a form of lightness that will release you from the prison its created and transform itself into joy and peace with the person you truly are. You were meant to be light. Shine.

Be Love.