Blog Page

you can handle the truth

There’s not much we need in life. If you’re fortunate enough to have food on the table, clothes on your back and a roof over your head, for all intents and purposes, you’ve made it. And, even if you have to struggle for all of that, it doesn’t change what the truth is for everyone.

There’s not much we need in life.

As fortunate as I am to have all of those things, I’m even more fortunate to know what the reason for my life is. To give the Love I have to give. To share the Love I have to share. And, not in a “change the world for the better” type way. But, to change my world for the better type way.

Maybe it sounds selfish, but that’s where the best version of who I know I am, is. It’s not to slightly influence or impact the lives of any impressive number of people a person would think is impressive. It’s to directly contribute and support the lives that are a part of mine. I know this. I find peace in knowing this. It connects me to my Heart. And, when we find what connects us to our Heart, we bring that which it is, to us.

We all chase. We chase power, money, influence, security, approval, answers; we chase everything. When we get it, we chase more. Even the humanitarians, philanthropists, motivators and inspirators that directly impact the impressive number of people they reach with their gifts, I would argue, still could never fill the place that is meant for the people we share life with that we can hug every day, watch grow every day and say, “I Love you” to every day.

That’s what the truth is for everyone. Not everyone is seeking that truth. Not everyone wants to face that truth. But, the realness of that truth is not a tough argument for me. And, I had that argument with myself for a number of years, whether I knew it or not. I don’t have that argument, anymore. I don’t need to. Love won. It was always going to win. It just kept trying til I finally got it. Now, it’s my turn to carry it forward for myself. To believe in it. To stay the course. To trust my Heart. To have faith. To welcome it in. It’s on me. And, I’m ok with that because I know what I believe in. I know what the truth is and the truth never changes.

Love isn’t serious. But, it’ll be the most important thing you’ll ever do.

Be Love.

this is a mistake. Great!

Life can be fraught with doubt, ie. life is full of doubt. Always. We doubt ourselves, we doubt others, we doubt the decisions we’ve made, we doubt the decisions we haven’t made. It’s become an integral part of our thinking and processing. Almost as though we couldn’t progress through an experience without it.

Doubt is a learned behavior. When we’re told to “learn from our mistakes”, we choose to learn the wrong thing. Because we’ve been hurt, because we’ve had loss, because our trust has been taken advantage of, because we’ve been vulnerable; we’ve chosen that to learn from our mistakes, is to not make them. And, choosing to not make mistakes is not education, it’s avoidance.

Education is evolution. First, we experience the hurt in our lives, then we endeavor to avoid it at all costs. We don’t want a repeat of the pain. So, we shut down and we shut out. We actually believe that the more we insulate ourselves, the less the likelihood we will put ourselves in a position to make a “mistake” and, ultimately, the better off we’ll be. That may serve us constructively if the following weren’t true; mistakes = education = evolution. And, why are we all here? To evolve. To get closer to Love.

There was a period in my life when I believed I could insulate myself. When I thought I could build walls tall enough that nothing could get over them. And, the scary thing was that I wasn’t even aware I was doing this. The walls don’t work. The mistakes still happen. The hurt comes through. And, instead of having the openness and vulnerability and humility to absorb it, it’s met with resistance, solitude and pessimism. The real mistake is believing we can avoid that which is meant to help us grow. The resolve of evolution will out-build your walls any day.

I’m no longer scared of mistakes. Not because I don’t make them, not because I trust people to never hurt me and not because I have the utmost strength and self-confidence. It’s because of a belief in Love. It’s choosing that there really is no other choice. We can look to whatever external resource we like, but when it all comes down to it, Love will be your strength, your freedom, your peace.

It’s not complicated. You just let it all go to Love. You choose to believe in it. You realize that things won’t necessarily unfold the way you planned. You understand that you’ll make mistakes til the end of forever. You steady yourself for the hurts that are yet to come. But, you don’t let it stop you from being exactly who you are and Loving that person. When what you do, what you say and what you believe comes from your Heart, it can never be stepped on. Sometimes it feels that’s exactly what happens and it shakes our faith. But, it’s not. That’s a misunderstood feeling. It’s the confusion that accompanies the misunderstanding of how anything truly from the Heart can be turned away. It’s confusion, because deep down we all know that Love loses to nothing and to no one. We feel that knowing, that pull, yet it seems to us to be the mistake we’ve made.

I’ve realized how much a “mistake” can give. It gives the opportunity to open our Hearts that much more, to expand our vulnerability, to become stronger by embracing our weakness. You find out about the person you really are when you give your Love unconditionally. And, you find out about the people you give that Love, unconditionally, to. That’s education. That’s evolution. There is nothing else. That’s where you’re supposed to go.

Be Love.

there’s nothing to fear….?

We are motivated by fear. We act to avoid consequence. We say things so as not to upset people, we do things so as not to disappoint people, we exhaust ourselves mentally to meet deadlines, we deplete ourselves emotionally to sidestep communicative conflict; we regulate any number of behaviours for cause of perceived criticism, reprimand and punishment.

For most, conquering fear may seem insurmountable. A product of our human evolution, fear is a very much ingrained into our core emotions. To pinpoint the moment we learned what fear was may bring us back to a remembrance of instinct rather than one of voluntary learning.

Fear is not usually met with positivity or optimism. In truth, though, there is argument that our response to fear and the threat of its consequence motivates with great force and power; albeit, a force and power striving for survival rather than to constructively improve one’s self.

For use of its motivation, can we reframe fear? Can we approach this instinctual response through a positive context? Can we move ourselves to want to experience the beauty of life through fear?

There can be a gentleness to fear. Fear of a life of being stuck in the same place; fear of a life of not expanding and evolving; fear of a life not experiencing true, internal peace; fear of a life of not giving as much Love as we’re capable to give. And, of not receiving all that is given to us.

It is to recognize that everything is temporary and fleeting other than Love. That is the only part of this life that you take with you. It is only part of this existence that will be etched onto your soul. There is a gentleness to fearing the incompleteness of your soul.

This is how I choose for fear to motivate me. To push me to experience everything that the Heart has to offer. Not to allow the deceit of the mind or the illusion of pride to cloak what is truly real, Love. To forgive, to be compassionate, to be considerate, offer kindness, patience, understanding, communication; motivations to open your Heart, to be vulnerable time and time again. To reach the heights of what Love is. The connection of it to your soul. The connection of it to another soul.

That’s how fear motivates me. To help me be everything my Heart was meant to be.

Be Love.

check my math

There’s a rising intention of independence amongst us; there has been for quite some time now. It’s the type of independence that affirms to us that we can do whatever we dream. It’s the type of independence that tells us we can be as strong as we believe. It’s the type of independence that convinces us we don’t need anyone other than ourselves. It’s the type of independence that reminds us we should be telling the world just exactly who we are, without compromise. And, it’s good. It’s empowering and full of optimistic progress. It’s building character and strength and resilience.

But, that rising intention of independence amongst us, it’s also coming between us. It’s building walls and burying weakness and creating hardened souls.

The messages of this type of independence are everywhere; daily internet quotes, articles, books, television. They can be very motivating, very clever, very funny and very witty. But, they are also subconsciously, behind the veil of inspiration, reprogramming the nature of human connection.

The messages tell us that we are whole no matter what else is present (or not present) within who we are; not our gender, sexual orientation, relationship status, education or wealth class, matters toward the truth of our wholeness. And, while I couldn’t agree more, I believe that this misrepresentation of our perceived wholeness is also distancing us.

The intention of independence I speak of is becoming steeped in pride; an unhealthy pride. A pride that almost makes us feel as though we will compromise our wholeness if we step over this manufactured line of entirety. It pushes us into believing that asking for help is an admission of not being able to do whatever it is for ourselves. It coerces us into thinking that letting our guard down makes us vulnerable to attack. And, it tricks us into a mindset that we’re supposed to go at this alone.

We’re shutting each other out for fear of subtracting from our oneness and confusing it with independence. And, while our oneness is ever important in the realization of self, reaching out and connecting with people doesn’t subtract from it, it adds to it. Our oneness strengthens with connection.

We are here to be together. Yes, you deserve to be treated with respect. Yes, you deserve to have as much opportunity available to you as the next person. Yes, you deserve to be Loved just for who you are. But, sometimes, we get so resolute in this thinking that we forget respect is also earned, opportunity needs to be created, and that someone might be Loving us right now for exactly who we are. That’s pride getting in the way of your Heart and what your real oneness is supposed to be. It’s creating a false sense of entitlement, of what are beautiful things, that separate us from each other because of unfounded expectation.

There is no doubt that you are whole and beautiful and perfect as how you are now and who you will evolve in to be, how many times over. But, that evolution and growth, is not just a factor of what you can do on your own. You need the Earth and the water and the Sun. Plus, if we were meant to hug ourselves all the time, we’d have longer arms.

Be Love.

Love is titanic

I’ve never really done anything notable. Nothing that anyone’s ever written about or created any commotion over. Nothing that would probably be considered spectacular or incline someone to start a conversation with saying, “hey, listen to this….”

I just….live. It seems.

In a time of pseudo-truths and filtered personas, a time where the world is consumed by personal unpaid publicists, it’s not hard to feel lost in your own shuffle. Work, bills, parenting, relationships, chores, obligations; not to mention where we find ourselves with self-worth, self-confidence and self-care. There’s a lot to shuffle.

For the most part, we all know the facade. We all know that what we see is subject to the iceberg effect; 10% showing on the surface, 90% consumed by a murky, cold abyss. And yet, we still manage to convince ourselves that we’re the only one lost in that shuffle.

And so you think that you’ve never really done anything notable because, well, you just….live.

I stared at the word ‘notable’. I stared at what seemed to represent, or what people deemed it to represent. And, I didn’t see ‘notable’. What I saw was that word come apart. It came apart to say ‘not able’. It wasn’t what it was meant to be.

To be able. I see it differently. Everyday, we find the strength to be able. We get up each morning and we live. We write our story beneath where the air drowns into the water. The story of the high-powered executive’s battle with self-confidence, the story of the elderly man’s resignation of mortality, the story of the always positive friend who’s actually struggling with depression, the story of the fitness trainer’s issues with body image, the story of the popular high school student that never feels like they fit in, the story of the single mom just wanting to be the best she possibly can be for her children, the story of the successful, accomplished young man’s challenge with self-worth.

None of these, anyone would ever consider to be notable. They are really much more than that. These are the stories of being able, day after day, never giving up. These are the stories no one ever reads. These are the stories of strength, of foundation, of faith. There is Love in all of them. That is the common bond. Whether it’s to seek, give, accept, believe; there is Love in each story.

These are the stories that need attention, support and Love. The quiet stories that impact our lives the most; that displace the most volume beneath the surface. These are the stories we write together.

Be Love.

just when i thought i was out, they pull me back in

They’re with you no matter where you go, no matter what you’re doing, no matter what’s happening around you.

Thoughts.

The power your thoughts command is probably vastly underestimated by most. Or, at least not given the attention of significance that it deserves. It’s hypothesized that a person has anywhere from 60,000 to 80,000 thoughts per day. I would argue (without any scientific data at hand), that the range seems a bit high. Considering there’s exactly 86,400 seconds in a day, it seems lofty that nearly every one of them is occupied with a thought. Perhaps, though, that is the product of our sentience? The constant, ongoing construction of thoughts.

Even if you pared the estimate down to just 20%, that’s still 12,000 to 16,000 thoughts per day. The only thing we do more, is breathe.

And so, is it any wonder how productive or destructive our thoughts can be to us? Split it down the middle; half of your thoughts positive, half of your thoughts negative. So, roughly 6,000 to 8,000 times a day, we are thinking of things that don’t make us feel good. It’s more than eye opening. The probable truth of the matter is that the bad ones are often more prevalent and can easily consume the good ones, usually very unbeknownst to us. It’s challenge enough to quell the negative thoughts of the significant matters we navigate in life like self-worth, past trauma, relationships, jobs, bills; let alone even identify the thoughts we have of general worry, stress, missing a deadline, being late somewhere or not liking how we look in our clothes that day. These are all thoughts that calibrate at a lower vibration and, in turn, deteriorate and damage our well being.

Negativity, intentional or otherwise, is not Love. Our thoughts reside within the self, and when they are not positive (or even neutral), we are not practicing self Love. Further to that, when that negativity is projected outwardly, we are propagating that lower vibration into our environment making it even more difficult to know where we begin and where it ends.

Dr. David Hawkins developed what he termed the Map of Consciousness. As a metaphysical and spiritually left-brained scientist, he identified, pretty plain and simply, that Love calibrates at a vibration of frequency higher than guilt, anxiety, anger, fear, despair, etc. Seems obvious but lends a sort of concrete semblance by way of scientific merit.

And, as complex as it may seem, the blueprint of the Universe is that of simplicity. Not ease, simplicity. In paraphrasing Newton’s third law, “everything has an equal and opposite force”. Meaning, in this context, stopping the negative thoughts translates into practising positive ones. Simplicity.

“Love is awareness, not avoidance” -Waylon Lewis

We don’t mean to, but when we fall into the negativity, we default to avoidance. It’s a normal response to go into a mode of “surviving” rather than “thriving”. Changing the default is, simply, one of practice. It’s a practice of awareness. It’s adopting the concept that yes, negativity exists, but its power over us is a choice. And, it’s acknowledging that there is a force to counteract the negativity; positivity.

This practice is rooted in awareness. It is an ongoing awareness to identify when it’s happening and finding a way to choose an opposing path. Whether to, literally, say, “stop” in your mind, ask yourself what benefit it is to think those thoughts, tell yourself you’re better than the thoughts, finding a positive thought to get in the way; it’s awareness. Simple. But, not easy.

Defaults can be changed. Routines can be changed. Thoughts can be changed. Awareness is the catalyst. Awareness of what you’re bringing into your consciousness and life is the Love that you offer your self. It is the Love that you offer of your self to everyone around you. And, it is a choice.

Be Love.

does free will cost too much?

The debate of free will is contentious, at best. The complex simplicity of it being, “is it or isn’t it free?”. Both, arguable vociferously and validly. On one side, if free will does not exist, what’s the purpose of life as a sentient being? On the other, if free will does exist, then so must the theory of cause and effect be discarded?

We find confidence in what we can define clearly and conclusively. The answer to, “is it or isn’t it?”, is anything but. Like science versus spirituality, we want just one and not the other. One may not explain everything exactly, but at least we force ourselves to accept the one. We limit our options so as to feel safer, more in control. The better question is, “when did science and spirituality become exclusive of each other?” And so, with free will, why do we only ask, “is it or isn’t it?”

Science and spirituality are not against each other, they are with each other. Free will both, is and it isn’t. There are no absolutes here but rather undefinable parameters that stretch as far as a consciousness is willing to stretch them. Absolutes limit potential.

Free will is a power that we both possess and are guided by. Our lives are constant experiences, challenges and situations that we navigate through. It is our path. Rather, a defined genesis and terminus orchestrated by whatever or whomever the architect was. The path between those two points is vastly variable. And, consequently, uncertain.

Free will does come at a cost. It’s the cost of suffering, pain, hardship and brokenness. But, like any scientific law, equilibrium is maintained. The spirit of Universe assures us of it. We make choices, and choices are made for us, that that bring great hurt to us. And, while there is learning buried in the hurt, it can sometimes be fair to say that the cost is too steep. But, the spiritual balance of the Universe serves that for whatever hurt there is, Love exists to silence it.

When we suffer, the last choice we would believe to possess in our strength and power to exercise is, understandably, Love. But, it would be the choice of greatest salvation. The cost of pain enables the undefined potential for the creation of Love. That is free will. We are guided into the strength of our free will by the cause and effect of our lives, our experiences and our path.

We don’t need to figure everything out first. Love just needs a sliver of space to shine into. Our demons find us so that we can find how to live above them. So that we can choose to live above them. It’s probably true that free will isn’t free; there is a price to pay for it. Choosing Love at all costs is the only way. Although, infinitely more expressive, it’s a simple equation. What can counteract the worst hurt you’ve ever felt? The most Love you’ve ever let in. Choose.

Be Love.

Love or Love? you pick.

It’s astounding how much of a choice Love really is.

Some people may be entirely inclined to argue that ‘you Love who you Love’ and others may read that to be an entirely obvious statement. Both are actually true. And, still so much of a choice, no matter which one is the belief.

‘You Love who you Love’. To fight this is futile. If there’s anything I know it’s that I don’t stand a chance against Love. There’s a reason why more books are written, songs are sung, movies are made and stories are told about Love than anything else. Because it’s the most powerful force we will ever experience. Our reason for being here is Love. To allow the force of it to overtake us. To allow the power of it to weaken us. Not to command us, but to strengthen us. Not to take from us, but to give to us. To show us the vulnerability, compassion and connection we seek. And, I know, when the Heart Loves, it just does. It doesn’t need to explain why or understand or make reason of it. There is no dispute or debate. It is the Heart which says, “that is it. I am here”.

And, within Love, we always find choice. We find the choice that is not surrendered when we allow our Heart to speak loudest, but when our mind and our ego finds its voice. It is the voice that allows fear to creep in. It is the voice that lets pride influence. It is the voice that gives space to the false notion of self-preservation, of selfishness and of sabotage.

We choose how aware we want to be, how kind, how considerate, how patient and how understanding. Those are all choices that are of our own volition. From the smallest gesture to the most grandiose; toward an unknown stranger or the most familiar of faces; the Love we show is always a choice. The Love we receive is always a choice.

There is responsibility and accountability that comes with Love. How could there not be? We’ve been given the reigns to wield the most powerful force in the Universe; it seems as though it should inherently require consideration, care and culpability. Love, literally, has the ability to change life. Yet, the attention it deserves often seems to be reactive rather than proactive; casual rather than causal. We can be very intentional with Love; both the Love our Heart chooses for us and the Love we decide we’re going to shine by way of our thoughts, words and actions. There is so much about Love that happens in the moment, but there is also so much about Love that happens out of the moment.

Love chooses us in the moment and we choose Love out of the moment.

“To be Loved like you’ve never been Loved, you must Love like you’ve never been Loved”

Be Love.

a letter to you

So, I was speaking to your Heart today. Yesterday, too. And, all the days before that as a matter of fact.

You didn’t know? Well, I can’t say as I’m overly surprised. I would say most people don’t that we speak. I mean, it does surprise me a bit (and, makes me smile) that you don’t know on account of how close I am with your Heart. But, it’s ok. I get why you don’t know. Don’t worry, it’s not like I’m going to stop anytime soon. Promise.

What do we talk about? Gosh, everything….I’d say pretty much everything. You don’t have to be nervous that I know so much. I never speak about it with anyone else. Just your Heart. It’s always between us.

I speak with everyone’s Heart, actually. You’d probably be pretty surprised at how similar all the conversations are that I have. It kinda doesn’t really matter whose Heart I happen to be speaking with, the stories are really a lot alike. Doesn’t matter from where, what age, man or woman, rich or poor; I guess it’s because the Heart is the Heart. It’s just a universal constant. That was definitely something I learned along the way. I’m always learning, to be honest. And, if I can say, I think both me and your Heart learn a lot every time we speak. And, like I said, we speak all the time.

The reason for me sharing all of this is because I want to help you. To let you know that I’m there for your Heart. I’ve always been there for your Heart. No matter what; even if you didn’t know that I was close to your Heart. Maybe you kinda knew? Maybe you could feel it but just didn’t know what it was? That was me. That was us; me and your Heart. We try to get your attention a lot.

Why do we try to get your attention? You need our help. We just want to help. We have a lot to give. Infinitely a lot to give. Til forever. We don’t want anything in return, though. It just makes us really happy when you listen to us. That’s way more than enough for us. And, it makes us do more for you. But, it’s ok when you ignore us, too. We’re still going to keep helping.

Not to sound like a couple of know-it-alls, but your Heart and I know it all about you. It’s our job to. What makes us chuckle is when you don’t really let us do our job. We chuckle (and shake our heads lovingly) because you’re the one who gave us this job. Don’t you remember? No. Probably not, I guess. It’s how it sorta works. It’ll all make sense, eventually.

We know not everything is exactly the greatest. It’s like that for a lot of people; most people have a lot of the same stories. The biggest difference is really just how different people respond differently. But, we know that what’s going on for you, is what’s going on for YOU, regardless of what’s going on for anyone else. Believe you us, I can tell you that a lot of people didn’t expect their lives to be where they are right now. Lots of people didn’t expect to have gone through the pain they’ve gone through. Lots of people didn’t expect to feel as uncertain about themselves as they do. But, I tell you with confidence, your Heart and I, we care about you more than you could ever know. You can and should count on us. Always.

Thing is, for all this to really work, you need to let us do our job. Not to sound totally arrogant, but it’s really in your best interest to let us do what we do. I say with no reservations, nothing is more powerful than your Heart and I. And, by “more powerful”, I mean more compassionate, more caring and more Loving. I don’t say that because we’re full of ourselves, it’s because we’re full of You. We’ve done this a lot and we just keep getting stronger and better at it. That’s why you knew to put us in charge. You just forget a lot.

You have to let go a bit. You have to let us have a bit more control. I know that scares you (we talk about that all the time), but that’s really how this goes. You have to let us do our job. The challenge is that most people think it’s all about them. And, it is. But, it’s really all about us. How it works in your favour is that we’re all about you. Does that make sense? The fact is, we’ve got way more pull than you. So, let us do the pulling instead of you pushing us away.

I just want you to know that I’m here for you. We’re both here for you. I can’t do this without your Heart and you can’t do it without the both of us. Open up to us a bit more when you can. Listen to us a bit more when you can. We’re always talking.

Your truly (really truly). Lots of Love.

The Universe

Be Love